Finding freedom through forgiveness

Right before the Covid shutdown, I went to a Mindvalley Live event and learned about the Quantified Self-movement, which has been gaining a lot of popularity. This is a biohacking practice of using measurements and metrics to improve your well-being and they have moved this practice into studying meditation.

Their findings have been phenomenal. There was a study called the 40 years of Zen where they brought visionaries from various fields and studied their brain waves – billionaires, intuitives, creatives, monks, and mystics.

They were hooked up to cutting-edge biofeedback equipment that measured their various brain waves.

Their focus was how to increase their alpha brainwaves which allows a higher state of creativity, a more relaxed mind, better problem-solving abilities, and in general the same benefits you would get from years of consistent meditation.

They could see instantly what worked and what didn’t.

What they found was the biggest secret in increasing the alpha waves was just one thing.

Forgiveness

Holding on to grudges and anger is the single biggest factor suppressing our alpha waves.

The people in the study worked on forgiving everyone in their lives - from petty grudges to huge hurtful wrongs. Every time they went through a round of forgiveness their alpha waves spiked.

They used a very specific model that I want to teach you.

Settling into the meditation, get yourself comfortable and then pick one person and act that you want to focus on forgiving for the day. Close your eyes.

First step – create the space, visualize the space where the situation occurred – or picture a safe and protected space.

Second – read them the charge – see the person in front of you and tell them how they wronged you – get emotional – relive the anger and pain – feel it burn – but only for a couple of minutes –once you bring up the emotions you want to move on.

Third – Think about what you learned from this situation. Ask yourself – How did this situation make me or my life better? How did I grow from this?

Fourth – Think about this person – think about how this person might have been hurt in the past. Think about the things that might have shaped them. What brought them to the place where you experienced pain?

Fifth - Attempt to see things from their eyes. See the situation you are forgiving from their perspective. Feel compassion for this person.

Sixth – Forgive into love – imagine hugging them and passing love onto them. Feel it. Feel yourself letting go. Feel yourself lightening.

Then open your eyes.

Repeat as many times as needed until you no longer feel a negative charge related to the person or action.

The participants said this process has made them unfuckwithable. The definition: When you are truly at peace and in touch with yourself, nothing anyone says or does bothers you and no negativity can touch you.

This forgiveness practice has brought me more peace in the past years than I can describe. It’s like releasing myself from a prison I didn’t even realize I was locking myself up in. I’ve let go of many painful memories and have found myself released from wasted negative energy. I found sleep where there was once insomnia. I’ve found it transforming relationships that I wasn’t sure were salvageable. It’s been a gift and I encourage you to consider making it a practice in your life as well.

Make your list, pick one person or act a day and slowly release yourself of those negative burdens.

As they say – To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that prisoner was you.