F · R · I · E · N · D · S

The Friends theme song goes "I'll be there for you 'cause you're there for me too"; and that's the way it's supposed to be, no? You're supposed to be there for each other? Distance, age, the sheer busyness of life should not be a reason for the end of a relationship let alone a true friendship. Life has had the most ironic ways of showing me that anyone can switch up, no matter the bond or history.

In other words, those who were once "there for you" can become strangers; maybe not strangers, but pretty damn close. Likewise, those who were once strangers can come to mean so much to you.

Like most people, I've lost my share of friends. Every move was a choice, intentional or not. Growing up, I left friends behind every time I changed schools. I've lost friends when we drifted away from each other, when our interests diverged, and (rarely) after unrecoverable fights.

The ghosts of my friendships past still haunts me to an extent. The losses all hurt in some way or another. I mourned not only for my friends, but what those friendships represented.

When we were young, many of our friends are chosen for us. Whether by school assignments, activities, or Sunday School (in my case); forces beyond our control dictated who we were surrounded by. But, as we grow up, we begin to learn that friends are more than just people we're obligated to be around. They're people who often share our beliefs and interests. People who make us laugh, who care for us, have fun with us, and make us better people.

After high school, my group of friends began to get smaller and only continued to shrink from there. Some cut me off completely, others simply went in another direction, and one even came to leave me a voicemail saying that I was no longer needed in their life. So, what happened?

Once we get the grand pleasure of choosing our friends, choosing who we laugh with, choosing who we share life with, comes making an effort to keep those friends. Friendships without cultivation wither and die (have you ever tried to take care of flowers in your garden? It's not easy. Think of it a bit like that. You have to make sure your flowers are getting enough water and sun, you have to make sure that there are no bugs eating them, you have to take care of them) and that's exactly what some of mine did. I have fought for friends that I've come close to losing.

Friendships are like tennis, so to speak. In order to have a fun match, both players have to actually put effort into the game. Not saying that friendship is a game, but friendships should be mutual. There should be a mutual amount of care, of worry and love for each other.

The thing about this is that it isn't only the fact that I've lost friends or have come close to losing friends, it's the fact that these friendships represent something. It has felt as though I have almost lost myself. Weeks would pass that I would not feel like myself. I'd be "Sam: #1 Loser of the Waiting Game." Waiting for my friends to notice. Waiting for my friends to ask. Waiting for my friends to miss me as much as I missed them. Waiting for my friends to care. Because the friends that have stayed in my life are no longer friends, they're family.

What do you do when girls you have come to know as sisters start leading a new life with friends of their own? What do you do when you are no longer a part of their weekend plans? How do you go about this?

I don't know about you, but it doesn't take more than five minutes to reply or say "Hey, I miss you! When can we catch up?" via text or social media. I've started my number of conversations but, like a bad tennis match, both sides aren't all in.

This hurt for a while. I've never had a boyfriend so I wasn't really sure if this ache I was feeling was one of heartbreak. Much like a dog who had just run into the screen door, I was at a humorous loss and confusion.

The crazy part of this is that I think it actually made my stronger. Through this, I realized who my real friends are. I've opened myself up to making new friends (something I'm not usually good at). This kinda goes for everything. If you can work through something you never wanted or never expected, you end up stronger I think. You end up learning something new (learning something new every day was actually on my New Years Resolution).

I once thought that the friendships in shows like New Girl, Friends, Parks and Recreation, etc. were unrealistic. While some of the concepts of these shows are unrealistic, the friendships (I think) are very possible. You must've seen at least one of these shows. Think about it. Think about how much Jess worries for Cece, how Schmidt bought a cookie for Nick just because he knew Nick likes cookies. Think about how Monica gave Rachel the name she was going to use for her own daughter (I didn't like this by the way, at all), how Chandler and Joey were so melodramatic when they weren't roommates for a short period. Think about how Leslie Knope cares about every single one of her coworkers and how much April loved Andy Dwyer despite the time he sent her his dirty clothes while she was in D.C. That... that is possible.

It's funny how we outgrow what we once thought we couldn't live without, and then we fall in love with what we didn't even know we wanted. Life keeps leading us on journeys we would never go on if it were up to us. Don't be afraid. Have faith. Find the lessons. Trust the journey.