F%cking Trauma

I was thinking about this the other day as I was speaking to a friend about this. I was thinking about how Trauma changes you in ways that you can't explain. It breaks you into so many little pieces that it might seem impossible to put you back together. I was thinking about how trauma stays with you forever and only gets easier to deal with. I was thinking about how we all go through traumatic moments. I was thinking about how we heal from trauma. How do we heal from it? How do we move forward from something that broke us into a thousand pieces? How do we move forward and try to forget something/someone that we'll most likely remember forever. That's the thing about Trauma you never really get over it. It gets easier to deal with no doubt, but it never really leaves us. It scars us for life. Trauma has a way of staying with us forever.

There are people who will tell you to get over it and there will be people who will tell you to move on and stop dwelling on it. Those people don't understand what you've been through. They don't understand that truama changes you forever and will forever mark you. They don't understand that healing takes time and you will never be fully healed from it. They don't understand that you loved someone at their worst and they f*cked you over at yours. They left you with tramua that will take years to heal from. The person who swore to love and protect you untill death f*cked you over and violated your trust beyond all reasonable doubt. The person who was supposed to make you feel safer with them then anyone else f*cked you over and changed you forever in a way that you'll never be able to explain.

They made you so broken that you had to find all the glue in the world to put yourself back together. But let's take it off a person, and focus on what we can learn from trauma. We can learn what we don't deserve, we can learn to be more selective about who we let into our lives. I need to pause and acknowledge that in that moment you let that person into your life, you were making what you thought was a good choice because you were being lovebombed. You were being tricked. You were being manipulated into believing that someone was a good person to have around when in reality they had the face of an angel but the soul of a devil. It was not your fault. You were being led to believe one thing and presented with another. You were being presented with a daydream and given a nightmare. It was not your fault. I want to reiterate that because there will be people who will tell you that it was YOUR fault you fell for the lies and believed the false reality you were being presented. You were being led to believe that this person could be trusted with your heart,body and soul. You were being led to believe that you were going to be safe with this person. When in reality you were going to bed fearing for your life. You went to bed wondering what it was that. you did wrong. You were hurting. It wasn't fun. Everyone thought this person was so good, that you really struck gold. but in reality you didn't. you got jipped. You got F8cked over and that person will forever blame you for their problems. They will never take accountabilty