Everything is Temporary

For my shy friend.

This is a story I've always wanted to tell but never had the time to tell it.

I want to thank my best friend Shyanne for being patient with me while I wrote this.

I would also love to send some appreciation to my brother, Tristin. Thank you for being the grammar friend I needed.

And lastly, I would like to extend a warm thank you to the judges for their time during this contest.

Everything is Temporary

Dear Dumb Diary October 31st, 2019

I don't think you realize my dear Diary, the burning desire I had dreaming about being in romantic places with him. His name was William, and he just broke up with me. On my freaking birthday!

The sky didn't cry like in the movies, but I sure did.

The autumn leaves fell outside our big bay window, and I cried alone in my bed, now a foot shorter without his mattresses between mine. Those stupid jack-o-lanterns are outside, and our porch light is off this year to trick-or-treaters.

I wanted to experience all the warm sunsets with him. The kind that turns the sky a hazy peach as we sit on a blanket by a small creek. Or running through fields of wildflowers in a lazy afternoon. And slow, quiet nights by a campfire, the crickets would be chirping love songs to themselves—our hushed love in the night.

I used to imagine it, but now I have to create one all by myself. I need a second to cry.

I can't believe William, the love of my life, took one lousy online course and left me to work some fancy corporate job in the big city. I'm not made for city life.

Trust me, Diary. There's too much going on in the big city, and it makes me mega anxious. My hair falls out of my head because I somehow get so stressed and nervous. I get red skin rashes, too, because of it. My parents moved us to this smaller city because of it.

That's how I met William. We both worked at the pizzeria together. We used to sheet out pizza dough together and sneak hand touches at work.

We got "our love nest," I used to call it (much to his grumbles) three months into dating. I love this apartment.

I guess I should tell you about myself; my name is Amelia Marie Bassoon. The boys in high school used to call me Baboon, you know, like the monkey. Hilarious. I used to get a plumber's crack, so it was fitting. That's my old life in the city, though. Five years ago.

Dear Dumb Diary November 3rd, 2019

It's now dinner time, and I'm not even hungry. I made dinner for two without even thinking about it and cried in the pasta sauce, thinking of William. I felt that the pasta tasted extra salty, so I was rather salty about it and got misty-eyed again when I put it all away. I wonder if this is how I lose weight, and William will think I'm cute also.

A new future, a single one, once again. Big Sigh Time. But! Also, maximum effort too. Ugh. I've got to change to get him back!!!!

Dear Dumb Diary November 11th, 2019

I'm having a sad Remembrance Day indeed. William and I used to hold hands outside our palace and watch the parade go by every year.

Now that I think about it. Will didn't hold my hand this past year.

Huh.

I forced myself to look at apartments while sitting at 'our' beautiful kitchen island that church across the street, and my phone both chimed eleven times in tandem. Eleven times. 11:11 AM I wished for him back </3

We shouldn't have gotten this prominent, expensive nice place Will wanted instead of the smaller but cheaper place I'd found for us.

Dear Dumb Diary November 14th, 2019

I'm still in our half-empty "old" place.

I woke up late again. I cried myself to sleep last night hugging Williams' forgotten sweater. My bed is a lonely box spring and mattress on the floor where we used to make love.

I found a few cheap apartments to move into while browsing online and sending off emails and texts this afternoon. One landlord with a tiny 400 square foot apartment texted me back right away. I get to see the place on December 15th at 2:30 PM.

Dear Dumb Diary November 16th, 2019

I'm 26 years old now, and William is 31. Happy birthday, love. I hope the city treats you well.

Last year Will wanted me to make spaghetti and meatballs. I made them out of love even though I'm a vegetarian. It's okay to forget. He was busy taking that online business course. It took up a lot of his time, especially with his meetings. He'd be in his office with the door closed at all hours of the day.

More about me? I guess I have been going on about William a lot.

I've always been a whopping five foot tall. I'm big and not the beautiful kind. Will would tease me about salads for dinner, I love salads, but it still hurt my feelings. I'd just smile and compliment his gym body. Not all of us could be naturally thin and stunning! And his ocean blue eyes, ugh, I used to get entirely lost in them. Sometimes I'd stare too much, and Will would get annoyed. HAHA!

He moves out to the big city from his parents tomorrow. I have to find a new place soon, our last month's rent is almost up.

OH!

Shoot! I have to get to work at the cafe! I'm late!

I miss him so much </3

Dear Dumb Diary November 25th, 2019

I found three books today.

It's after work, by the way, it's 3 AM.

I'll describe the books all poetic like for you my "dear" Diary.

"At the bus terminal were three little black books, all alone with no one around them. The snow floated in on them gently, covering their hard shells. She grabbed them up quickly with a glance and continued to sludge through the snow to get to work."

"The first book was a thick midnight black moleskin with a metallic gold rim. There was no name along the Moleskine's spine, and the cover held swirls of gold but no writing."

"The second one was a five-year planner, also black with gold swirling across it in beautiful arcs."

It was probably very convenient to whomever it belonged to up until this point.

"The third was a little black moleskin notebook with no markings."

"The snow looked beautiful floating down in the sunny but brisk day as she grabbed them up."

My shift at the cafe was uneventful, and I made about thirty dollars in tips tonight. I've heard the city waitresses can make about fifty dollars off fancy business people and one coffee. Not in this little town. I wonder if William would ever tip that much?

Sometimes he would bring his noisy friends around. None of them tipped much. It was a common complaint with my co-workers.

Dear Dumbstruck Diary It's like 40 minutes later…

I was on my bed, fresh from my shower late into the night after work, ready to read a book. I opened the fatter book with the gold embossing and trim, flipping through the pages. There was no writing anywhere in that book but, BUT!

The first page was crisp and white, handwritten in beautiful cursive was the quote, "Everything is temporary." There was nothing written anywhere else in the journal. So I opened up the planner to hopefully get a name and an address. There was absolutely no handwriting on the pages as I flipped through slowly.

With a sigh, I opened up the nondescript little black Moleskine book and simply stared.

The first page once again was that beautiful tiny cursive saying, "Everything is temporary."

The next pages, though. The plain black Moleskine filled to the brim with crisp one hundred dollar bills!

I counted it out to twenty thousand dollars! HOLY COW!

I searched the net for anything about these books. Whoever lost it would want it back, for sure.

"Little Black Book filled with money?" then the quote.

Nothing, nothing at all, came up in my dazed search.

My brain screamed at me, TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS IN CASH!!! I've never seen so much money in my life, my dearest diary!

I made a post on social media and selling sites that I had found three journals with no name on them. I then asked that if the person could describe them to me in detail. I would give it all back. Scouts honour!

"Everything is temporary."

What a weirdly short but excellent quote.

William would have loved it for sure. I miss him a lot.

I texted him but didn't mention the money, and I'm not sure why.

Dear Dumb Diary December 15th, 2019

My new apartment is small and smells like fresh paint, but it's mine, and it has a lovely clawfoot tub. That's what sold me. The landlord flirted with me the whole time, and I got the place down to a reasonable price. I paid for the apartment through my phone while we stood together. It was somewhat awkward, not going to lie. The contract was only a month-long too. SOLD - Err, RENTED!

Dear Dumb Diary; December 31st, 2019

I can't get William out of my mind. I think I'll visit him for a week and look for a job and apartment in the city. I just want to be with him. I cried for a week alone in my pillow, and then I paid up a month in advance on my apartment. It cost me all of my savings to be with William for December.

I'm home now. He sent me packing the next day that I showed up.

He said we couldn't even have any visits at all because he "had to give his full attention to work." WHAT! EVEN FOR CHRISTMAS!?

I can't even get him to take me back, even when I'm trying.

I found a hair tie under his bed when I was cleaning in frustration after leaving for his corporate job. I cried alone on his bed because I only use scrunchies.

I hurt inside all the time. My friends say it'll pass. But I thought I would be Mrs. Wittiker this Christmas. I did.

Just writing about it now, I'm starting to cry.

Happy Freaking New Year :(

Dear Dumb Diary January 8th, 2022

COVID-19 sure was boring last year, huh? I bought way too much stuff online. It barely touched our little city because we're so out of the way—just a stopping hub between Toronto and Montreal.

Work is back on and boring as ever, but I do it, and I take pride in doing it well. I'm the cafe/pizzeria's shift manager now. I still make pizzas, but now I make sure the evening shifts go well.

The college boys like to flirt with me now the whole of the freaking city knows William cheated on me.

I'm still not ready to mingle.

The notebooks have gained traction online. No one came forward yet to describe them adequately. Some say pink, some say black correctly but don't get the gold swirling cover art, some say tan. None get it right.

I've gotten a lot of personal emails about it and had to disable commenting!!

OH! How could I forget! I adopted a cat named Lily; she's white and black with spots. She's so cute!

Dear Dumb Diary February 14th, 2022

William came back. I guess the rat race didn't treat him too kindly. He's with his parents again. The city was too expensive for him, and the lady he cheated on me with - had a husband. I can't believe she had him hooked for a year!

AND I found out through cafe shop talk that he was selling debt to poor people. How unkind!

He apologized to me, and I didn't forgive him this time. Momma always taught me to "never forgive a cheater."

He left me here, Diary! Here, in this little city full of dead love memories, like emotional landmines. The feelings, just like the book quote had said was temporary. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt sometimes! He kissed me for the first time at this beach. It was sweet and salty, just like how the memory feels now. I used to do laundry there, and Will would beg me to sing him tunes in the laundry room because of the echos, but only if it was just the two of us. A family with a small child lives at our old place now.

So he left, and I stayed, moved into my tiny apartment and continued living my poverty-level work life. The cafe did promote me to the manager last week. I should tell you the place is called Blossom Tea, we serve pastries and such too, take out and dine in. I get paid a livable wage now, I suppose, it's enough to help me buy all the stationery and books I want. Yay.

Even William tried to describe the books a couple of times. He argued that it wasn't fair because the money was his. I'm glad I didn't forgive him, honestly.

Lily is doing well, by the way. I love her so much; I could kiss her!

I'll be right back :)

Lily sleeps in an old ramen box on my bed. You know, the little boxes at the store. Yup, she would rather that than sleep in the cozy bed I knitted her. What a silly creature! <3

Dear Dumb Diary March 23rd, 2022

It's Lily's birthday, according to her adoption card. I finally wrote my licence, I know many kids get it at sixteen, but I saved up and took the G1 written test at twenty-six. Now I just wait and take my road test in a year. Then I'll have my G2.

Dear Dumb Diary April 18th, 2022

My second spring without William around is weird, but the memories are dissipating.

I have Lily to keep me company when I'm not working overtime as the new store manager. It's tough, but I love the cafe and pizzeria. I do.

Have you ever seen the movie Into The Wild? I bought the book, and it was amazing! I read it in the bath while Lily made sure I had no toilet paper when I got out.

She's getting into her terrible twos early!

In Into The Wild, Christopher McCandless sells all his possessions. He travels to Alaska to be in the wild and have his adventure. I want to do that!

Dear Dumb Diary May 15th, 2022

Sometimes I think about the books and the money inside. I know deep down they aren't mine, though.

Still, no one has come forward and correctly identified these journals.

Work is fine, I guess. Work is work is work is work.

Lily is still cute as a button.

I'm still full of hopeful wanderlust somehow, but I don't think I'll ever leave this dumb little city.

Dear Dumb Diary June 15th, 2022

Finally, as the summer's heat is picking up, so is my journals' online talk, someone came forward. It was an older lady named Dottie. She emailed me this morning.

"Dear Amelia,

I'm thrilled you found my gift of the three journals at the bus stop. I had hoped someone nice would take home and keep these beautiful golden notebooks. Well, the one with the REAL gift is plain har har!

I read about you through the newspaper and figured you should know the money is for you.

I'll tell you about my dear husband, Jake. He was a sweet man who supported and loved me for many years. We travelled across the country every summer. This summer, I'll be spending time with my great-grandchildren, thinking fondly of Jake with the family we made.

You see, Amelia, I'll make this short not to waste your time. I won the lottery, bought all three books, took the city busses around once and just left them there at a terminal as an act of kindness.

You can keep them; I ask that you remember that Everything Is Temporary.

Could you write to me in five years? I would love to see those gold and black journals filled!

With warm regards, Dottie."

Dear Dumbstruck Diary Later

KINDNESS!

$20 000 in kindness? Diary! I think it sank in five minutes ago.

This money from those books is mine now.

Maybe I'll buy a Volkswagen camper van with this money. Paint it a pastel pink and blue, spiffy up, then rent my apartment out, and finally travel! See all of the big and beautiful Canada just like Dottie described in her emails about Jake!

Time to plan.

Dear Dumbstruck Diary June 16th, 2022

I bought a fancy fountain pen just for this moment to arrive. I sat on top of my big cozy bed with a jump and opened up the three books.

The two dazzling books, you know, the two thick midnight black Moleskins with the gold trim on the covers in swirls of beautiful gold arcs? The money book was the plain little black moleskin notebook with no markings. Dottie is funny. Others might have picked up the two books and not the money one because it was so bare.

I stared at the money book for a while and tapped my fancy new fountain pen on my chin.

How much is a campervan in my area anyway? I've never looked because I never had the money. I searched for it on my little pink phone and found a bus converted into a mobile home. I paused for a moment taking a deep breath and finally wrote in the five-year planner: Something I had wanted to do since that cold winter night I picked them up.

Everything is temporary.

Year 1) Buy an RV and Travel

Step 1) Research $20, 000

Step 2) Finish getting licence - $300???

Step 3) Purchase Mobile Home - $15,000

Step 4) Travel Across Canada - ???

Step 5)

Year 2) See Canada

Step 1) Drive out west and scream off a cliff about finding my happiness.

LONG Trip

Step 2) Drive up north and see the Magic Bus from Into The Wild

Step 3) Drive East

LONG drive

Step 4) Drive South to Newfoundland & Labrador

Step 5) Come home???

Year 3) Buy a house - $ 150,000 ???

Step 1) Research

Step 2) Save

Step 3) First time home buyer - $5,000

Step 4)

Step 5)

Year 4) Go to college - $4,000 per course.

Step 1) Save

Step 2) Take classes in Civil Engineering?

Step 3)

Step 4)

Step 5)

Year 5) Get married??

Step 1) Find my Jake as Dottie did

Step 2)

Step 3)

Step 4)

Step 5)

Dearest Dottie October 31st 2027

Year five is here! I hope the years have treated you as amazingly as your act of kindness did for me.

Honestly, it helped me change my whole life perspective! Thank you once again <3

I'm 31 now and starting to get crow's feet from smiling so much. I love that about my face. I'm quite tan now too!

I felt like that kid, Christopher McCandless from Into The Wild by Jon Krakauer. The one where he sells all his possessions and then travels to Alaska to be in the wild and have his adventure. You should read the book. It's fantastic! I honestly don't do it justice, Dottie.

I didn't sell everything, and I came back to my tiny apartment.

After travelling all of Canada alone, I found out that I didn't need William or anyone else to fulfill me, but I met my beautiful Jake. His name is Elijah. We met because he was a "leather tramp" or someone who hoofs it.

I offered him a ride from Montreal to Vancouver. For his unexpected birthday, I bought a second copy of Into The Wild and gave it to him.

He'd seen the movie, but it's the thought that counted, and he LOVED it.

We get married this upcoming spring and would love to have you there.

I'll tell you how I started things off.

I finally got my licence. It wasn't too hard! I studied all winter the year I found your fantastic books. I ended up buying a mini school bus that someone had converted into a mobile home. I had to forgo the paint job, too expensive, and the bus was pricey itself. I then bought a map of our little city and practiced driving the massive thing. Let me tell you, it wasn't easy at first. I was so nervous!

Now, if I make any mini mistakes in my minibus and someone flips me off, I do it right back! HA!

I planned for months and then just DID IT. I met so many kind souls and some unkind ones too. Sometimes the people I met along the way called me wild for just dropping everything and travelling across all of Canada with a guy I just met. They'd say things like, "Wow, I wish I could do that but be careful!" sometimes it was "Do you keep in touch with your parents?" The answer was, of course. I called both of them every evening <3

Honestly, before I found the money book, I wasn't sure what I was doing with my life. I thought that everything sucked after William left me by cheating. Just like you said in your book, it was temporary.

I never spoke of it again, by the way. I liked keeping our secret.

Every day I updated all three journals and thanked the heavens for my miracles and your generosity.

The cost of Elija and I to travel, buying our first home tapped the books out. But that's what I always wanted and what I'd planned!

Oh! The cafe accepted me back. I'm enjoying being a small-town waitress again. I'm quite good at it, and I love getting to know our customers personally.

I got to experience all the warm sunsets, the kind that turns the sky a hazy peach, as I sat on a blanket by a small creek with Elijah. I got to go running through fields of wildflowers on a lazy afternoon. And slow, quiet nights by a campfire, crickets chirping love songs to themselves as he and I ate sticky marshmallows until our stomachs hurt and we laughed into the night.

I no longer have to imagine, I finally got out of this small town, only to come back happier to stay too.

I don't even think of William anymore. The little black book was right.

"Everything is temporary."

With warm regards, Amelia.