Every Other Day

Rachel is a shy girl. Simple, talented and kind but the one thing she can't do is love herself. No other reason than she doesn't know how to. Living with her mother and sister hadn't helped her confidence as they didn't believe in themselves but couldn't even try to help her.

In her early years Rachel had been outgoing and confident but she lost that when she lost her father. A man who had enough love for every woman in his family. He had taught her to be confident and kind but since he couldn't encourage her anymore she didn't believe she had the right to be both.

"Rachel! You have five minutes before I come up there and move you out that bed myself!" From down the stairs, Rachel heard her mothers voice calling out to her. A common voice that was only expressive when she had to pretend to like someone otherwise she sounded monotone and masculine, something that Rachel had picked up from her.

"Okay... I'm up!" Rachel replied with as much effort as she could muster, which wasn't much and doubted her mother had even heard her. Lying in bed wasn't going to help her get anywhere but the thought of having to go out to work was giving her a headache. Funny the effects stress have on people. Headaches were a regular thing now. Thinking of anything that could help her build her confidence, she got a job in a restaurant as a waitress. If you thought it helped... you're wrong.

Rolling around under the covers of her double bed, she flipped one edge up to allow the cold draft slowly take over the heat that was keeping her comfy. As the nipping draft got to her hand she was able to fling the covers off and head for her uniform hung up on her wardrobes outside door. The shiver she tried to avoid rocketed up her back and caused her to involuntarily start shaking.

Reaching out her hands she brushed the fabric of her clothes under her fingers and took a second to contemplate quitting like she did every other day. Though she kicked herself for thinking it and began pulling off her PJ's like she did every other day. As she took off her top she felt her stomach and the immediate feeling of unworthiness flew over her. Hating the feeling, she swallowed it and finished getting changed.

Slowly approaching her bed, she was sighing at herself and looked to the side table beside her bed to check the time. 9:42 am. It's ridiculous! Within her own mind she'd decided today was going to be terrible and that her life would remain this broken without a single shred of hope.

Knocking came at the door and Rachels' head whipped up, her fake smile instantly plastered onto her face. One thing over all that she loved about her family was that they would knock before coming into her room. As someone whose only ambition in life is to have privacy, she appreciated it more than anyone would ever know.

"Hey..." A small voice came from the other side of the door and when her sister was that quite it either meant she wanted something or that she had done something. The handle squeaked and as she pushed the door open it creaked. A loud and violent cry out in pain, it sounded horrific and seemed to startle Melanie. Popping her head round the door, she checked that she wasn't interrupting anything and continued into the room.

"Me and my friends are coming to your work today so... can you not serve our table please?" Timid and bold came Melanies' voice as she watched her sisters face not change at all. When Rachel remained expressionless it usually scared people so the fake smile was better for others but the awkwardness that she felt wasn't usually worth it.

Shifting in spot, Melanie contemplated whether she should have asked differently as the silence between them grew more and more. What she had said wasn't meant to be horrible, even if it sounded it. Rachel had never understood siblings being embarrassed to see one another in public, it's not like her friends didn't know who she was.

"I'll see, I don't know who's on shift." Trying to hide the disappointment from her voice and face she turned away and headed over to a plain white desk that only had two fictional books and a hair comb on it. Picking up the brush she immediately began tugging at her hair to get the thousands of knots out before having to tie it back for the next ten hours.

Visible confusion shot across Melanies face. She was beautiful but she was lucky to have two brain cells in her head because she wouldn't be able to count to two if she tried. Watching Rachel she kicked out her one knee and ended up leaning all her weight onto one leg as she popped her hip out and held her hips in her hands.

"What difference does that make?" Anger flared through every word and Rachel could tell that the nice approach was over. Now Melanie would try to irritate her so she'd agree to whatever to make her leave. Acting like a spoilt brat usually got her what she wanted because nobody in the history of anyone could put up with Melanie being a brat.

Putting the brush down Rachel opened one of the draws attached to the desk and yanked a bobble out from the cluster of bobbles. Startling her the bobble snapped up close to her face but she was able to catch it as it began falling to the floor. Stretching it out she put it on her wrist and could instantly feel the pressure from it digging into her skin.

"Depending on who's on, I'll decide whether to ask them to swap tables with me or not." Still not looking at her she remained as calm as she could whilst Melanie kept blowing air out her mouth and tutting at every second that passed by. Deciding that Rachel wasn't going to say anything else she began to shift in her spot again showing visually that she would never forgive her.

"You're so weird!" Raising her voice usually got a response out of everyone but Rachel already felt exhausted from the day and she hadn't even left the house so she wasn't going to get a reaction. Turning to walk back out the room she flipped her hair, spun on her heel and stomped every step of the way until she reached her own bedroom and slammed the door.

The reality of it is that it didn't matter whether she was on with someone she liked or not Rachel wouldn't be able to ask. In the end she'd suffer through it because her anxiety would get the best of her. Nobody at work knew about her 'issues' but the truth was she didn't want anyone to know because by the end of the day everyone would know. She didn't need that.

9:51 am - time to go downstairs.

Dealing with her mother in the morning was like dealing with a damsel in distress, she always needed saving from whatever breakfast she was trying to make as well as the subtle (not so subtle) alcohol coffee. Today was no different.

"Mum? I'm going in a sec... Have you eaten?" Rachel had left her room and got to the bottom of the stairs and with no response from her mother she decided to claim the kitchen for herself. She actually had the space to make herself something to eat because usually as soon as she stepped into the kitchen, everyone would flood round her and stay till she left.

Taking to the fridge she pulled it open and remained staring into it as though it was the most magnificent thing, but in reality it was basically bare and was 30 years out of date. Milk. That was there. The second she grabbed it she checked the label and it was actually in date, the shock overwhelmed her for a second as she remained staring at the date checking for a discrepancy.

A glass full of milk sat in front of her and she contemplated the possibility of it being poisoned then realized that if her family were going to kill her it would be brutal and they'd do it themselves. It was the rarest thing to actually have something to herself, time, food, space... the only privacy she got was in her room and she was only in there to sleep most of the time.

Quiet. Quiet swept round her and the joy filled her from head to foot. There was no shouting. No slamming doors. No people. Just her and the quiet. Sitting there felt like heaven for a moment but then the doubt and fear set in that something absolutely horrific was going to happen throughout the day.

Fear had caught her in its grasp but it would have to wait till 10pm tonight to let her really think about it because now she was out of time. She had to leave at 10 am to get to work for mid-day and it was already five minutes till leaving time. She hadn't even done her teeth...

One finally second of silence then she ran round the bottom floor of the house to grab her bag, shoes and stand at the door throwing milk down her throat as fast as she could. Putting her head down on the counter of the kitchen she felt the cold of it spring on her and cool down her nerves for a split second before she began to hear her phone going... where was it though.

Looking around like an owl on rotation she was looking everywhere to see if she could hear the alarm clear. After a second she turned her head back to her bag and stuck her hand straight to the bottom retrieving it as quickly as her hand would let her. The alarm was generic and annoying but when she turned it off she really knew it was her finally warning to leave as though she was being evicted.

Heading out the door her only thought was: 'Please let today be okay.'

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After the hour walk she would always feel better because music would be blaring in her ears and nobody bothered her... most days anyway. Today was the same, she made it all the way to work without a single conversation in between.

This restaurant wasn't small or large, it was perfectly sized. Though she did wish for it to be smaller for there to be less people; then it would be perfect. The outside was brown with a massive sign that looked like a billboard with the name 'Burtons' written on it in a large and ageless font. Looking at it now though she realized it needed cleaning or replacing because it looked like it had been there for over a thousand years.

Standing outside she gathered herself as she prepared to enter. Whenever she would walk to work she would start with a lovely and steady pace but bout time she was up to full speed she was basically sprinting. For no particular reason other than she had got into her own world and nobody could touch her there so she was going fast enough to out walk them all. Plus her music is pretty upbeat.

The front doors were basically as big as the sign itself. Large brown doors that seemed like something from an old theatre but widely downgraded. Here she stood as people were constantly coming in and out she waited for her shift to start and her nightmares to be relived as she did every other day.

Anticipation built up and she forced herself forward almost giving herself whiplash from the motion of moving her legs and torso forward but her head remaining in place. Oblivious to the idea that today could be good she started into the building with the highest level of doubt that she'd walk out feeling any better than right now. Sick, tired and deeply depressed.

The staff had a room off to the side of the building as it may be wide but it isn't tall, so everything seemed to be on one level. Other than the foot long drop to get into the staff room. Plain, with the amount of misery a murder victim's bedroom. Dead. Basically dead, other than the occasional staff member trying to get their stuff from broken lockers before leaving again.

Today it was completely empty, not even one person trying to sneak a drink or fag before work. No-one. A lovely feeling, knowing you don't have to make small talk when no-one wants to. Sitting on the dented plastic chair she unwrapped her headphones from her jackets zip and rolled them up along with, her now turned off, phone.

She had checked the time: 11:30 am, half an hour till her shift. She'd waited outside a lot longer than she usually did. Maybe she had cracked the timing and needed to leave it till this point so nobody would be in the staff room while she was. Taking a second she pushed the bag off her and held it in one hand as she pushed herself off the chair and turned towards the lockers.

This bag was nothing special, nobody would miss it if it were gone but she used it for everything and felt naked without it whenever she would go anywhere. A backpack that was plain blue with a medium middle compartment and very small front pocket that she usually didn't put anything in, other than feminine essentials. Simple yet effective for everything she did... which was basically work.

Usually at this point she is sweating and/ or hating herself for even thinking about continuing to work here but after a second she forces herself to move along and just get back into it. She'd taken her jacket off and sprayed herself with deodorant but now she stood leant against the lockers feeling the cold running up her back and cooling her off just enough to function properly.

After a second she turned on the lockers and violently shoved everything into the locker without thinking about the noise it would cause but after doing it she realized the whole bloody restaurant probably heard her. The sound still rang in her ears and she felt the rage making her sweat again, she hated it here so why was she torturing herself? Did she think she deserved it? Did she?

Not wanting to be linked to the noise she pushed the locker shut and stuck a bent ruler into the locker to keep the door from opening again. She'd found that the thickness of the ruler kept it closed but it never seemed to work with any other door, so she claimed it as hers.

It took her a literal second to be outside with an apron tied just around her waist and her hair to be pushed back, tied into a ponytail, making her look like a forty-year-old woman with five kids and two grandkids. The door to the staff room was secluded from the rest of the restaurant and it was one really thin hallway away. Narrow to the point that only one person can get through it at a time, even when walking sideways along the walls.

As soon as you're out of that hallway, you are in the heat of the kitchen and then into the restaurants main dining area. A place where all walks of life culminate even the filthiest of dogs who have the smallest respect for anything including women. The worst thing? Not being able to tell them to take a hike because it's incorrect for staff to be rude... what a joke!

Today seemed relatively calm and the usual culprits weren't there making Rachels entire body destress for a split second before she saw another staff member walking towards her with a sandwich, a drink and a pack of cigarettes.

"Going on break good luck!" Loud and obvious to direct people her way but before she could get out 'I'm not on shift yet' the man was gone. The man being Jacob Barlow: douche by definition. Watching him stride across the dining area made her feel sick as she realized she was the one in charge of everyone out here now but that didn't mean she wanted to step up.

Looking out across everyone she saw how full they already were, she knew the day and night was going to be long as well as filled with absolute douchebags. If Jacob is here that usually meant nobody else was going to be and spending time with him was like getting beat up like a Jock. Boring, painful and never-ending.

"Hello!!" Snapping came from across the other side of the bar and her head popped up as she realized there was someone standing there continuous snapping at her. Though the room was packed his voice seemed to ring out across the entire area making her face flush and her throat go dry. Being embarrassed is something she had never got familiar with or found funny and she never would.

"Has the light gone out?" Rage flared up yet again but she kept as calm as she was willing and stepped over to him. She couldn't fake a smile and at best he would get a shrugged politeness but something told her this encounter wasn't going to be over within that minute.

"What can I get you?" Voice cold and polite but seemingly friendly she tried her best not to flash him a look that told him what she was really wanting to say. Outside she may be shy and look a weak woman but if it came to it she could do just about anything and get away with it.

"A brain so I can give it back to you!" Cackling ensued and she held back the urge to hit him with a bottle. Her face remained neutral and that quick response would probably stay with him for the rest of his life as his only achievement. Frantically she began to blink as she tried to hide the anger flowing out of every inch of her. The only problem with not having other people coming up to the bar was that she couldn't say others were waiting to be served.

Bucking out her leg she leant herself to the side slightly waiting for him to get over himself not wanting to step away and give him more of an excuse to talk to her or make comments about her ass, which is what she expected next.

"Well sweet cheeks it will be another Guinness." Again he began cackling as she got straight to it, hoping to move him along and it worked. As soon as he had the drink he was gone but his stench stayed at the bar. Quick as she could she grab one of the cleaning spray and wiped down the counter hoping the strength of that smell would block his out.

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The rest of her shift went just about the same, serving men who had started day drinking before day time and other people who wanted food and to be as loud as they possibly could be. Then Melanie came in. She wasn't with just a couple of friends... there were about ten of them. Each one a carbon copy of the other one. The only one who stood out was a man who seemed a couple years older than them and who wasn't cackling along with everyone.

Scanning around he was clearly trying to find a table big enough for everyone. Seemingly he gave up on that because he started putting tables together, whilst everyone else kept looking around aimlessly. At least he could do it himself. Most others ask her to do it for them, not for permission but because they're lazy.

Everyone sat round the table and even though he was the most unique looking he didn't look entirely out of place. One thing she noticed was he could phase in and out of the conversation as though he didn't actually want to be there. Instantly Jacob ran over to another table with only three people and signaled to her that she had to deal with them... as well as her sister. Joy!

Disappointment and fear sprang into her making everything seem pointless as though if she put her hand in hot oil it wouldn't matter at all. Regret already pained her in several ways and for several reasons. One being her sister would literally never let this go. Two being she could feel a panic attack building up and she didn't want to collapse, especially not in front of her sister. Rachel was already going to be an embarrassment to her family but if she collapsed there than she could never redeem herself. At least at this point she could offer chocolate and alcohol to her sister.

Jacob was making small talk and she knew she wasn't getting out of it so shoved herself forwards and straight to the table. Her heart was in her ears and her head wasn't pounding, it was rhythmically throbbing making her want to stick a needle in her ear and see if something came out.

Whatever.

"Hello, are you ready to order?" Her voice didn't crack and she didn't look at Melanie but she could feel everyone's eyes on her. Swallowing seemed like it would lead to chocking, which would mean she could leave the table and die in peace somewhere else. With everyone staring at her she felt as though she had said something to offend them or that her face was too much like a donkeys for anyone to ignore.

"Yeah sure, we'll have..." They all proceeded to make their orders and Rachel wrote as fast as she could but as neatly as she could, having to come back and ask if she got it right would kill her more than this. Only because it would mean an actual conversation. The thought of having to come back and forth from the kitchen with plates was going to be annoying and if Jacob wasn't going to help, she'd have to do drink trips too.

Everything adding together was making her faint and as she leant slightly against the bar, whilst making the second round of drinks, she had failed to notice that someone was at the bar and staring at her. Slowly she raised her head and the second she saw that man standing in front of her she almost dropped a drink and slammed her elbow into the bars counter. Holding in the urge to swear she turned away from him and crouched down to the floor, trying to hide as well as make an excuse for why she was hiding.

Something told her he wasn't going to budge so she perched herself back up onto the bar and continued with the drink she almost dropped. One look at him and she realized he wasn't laughing, he actually looked... concerned.

"Are you okay?" His voice was sweet as well as deep and if she wasn't so nervous she would have got lost in it. Leaning onto the bar a little he looked down to her elbow and nowhere else as she rubbed it a couple of times before focusing on the work she was doing.

Looking over his shoulder Rachel saw Melanie looking back and her first, second and third thoughts were negative. She couldn't help it. This beautiful man had come up to her and was supposed to be showing actual concern... right?!

"If this is a dare... please leave me alone." She sounded defeated as though the conversation had been going on a lot longer and she'd only just realized she was being played. Drained and tired by the day she was having, she really didn't want to be tricked or bullied. Tonight she wanted to finish work and regret life forever after.

Spinning his own head round he stayed there for a second but Rachel was trying to focus on work and she did for the next ten seconds as she began loading everything onto a flat black tray to carry the drinks. As his head spun back he looked... betrayed? Actually, he looked sad as though he thought he was being pranked too. It's the worst feeling, that realization.

"It's not! I swear. I'm sorry, I just saw how uncomfortable you were at the table and didn't want you to feel bad." So soft and gentle, his voice felt like butter would but she couldn't fall into it. She wouldn't! Still his eyes remained on her as she fixed how she put the tray together, makes it easier to carry but there was still another tray to go to them.

Red flags were flying in her mind as she thought of a thousand ways this could be a trap but his face was so convincing she had to remind herself that Melanie didn't have 'good' friends and if he was her friend then there was no way they were happening. At this point she was surprised that Melanie hadn't come over and shoved a wall between them for talking to each other.

"Is that going to our table?" She didn't respond other than nodding her head and he came round the side of the bar and picked it up before she got chance to go out with it. "I'll take it." Fear sprang up on her again and the thumping that had simmered down was now like a literal blazing fire constantly hammering away at her.

Following him with the other tray she put the tray down on the table and waited for him to sit... which he didn't. Turning from the table she headed back to the bar but after seeing he had followed she headed straight into the kitchen instead.

There was a door between the kitchen and the bar, which meant the front staff had to constantly check the back for food. It's a system that can become confusing but it also meant that they didn't have to stay on the bar all day, every day.

Problem!

As soon as she came to the back they said food was ready, meaning she had to go back to the table already. Back to him as well. After the three months she had worked her, she finally knew how to hold the plates perfectly so they wouldn't burn her. As she began picking up plates she heard the door go and instantly turned thinking that the man had actually followed her back there. The second she turned she stopped.

"Jacob, take some of these out." Rachel tried to sound as commanding as she could as she saw that he was just going to leave her with all these dishes. Mustering up courage had nothing to do with it, she simply didn't want to walk back and forth over five or six times to that table.

Keeping himself partly turned away he avoided looking at anyone and tried to hide the fact that he was there at all. His long and bright hair made it impossible to hide him. Green and black was his hair down to his shoulders with better curls than most girls but it didn't matter because it ruined it by constantly putting gel into it and straightening it out.

"It's your table." Jacob was already turning to leave and anger flared up in her but from exhaustion she let it go and felt tears pricking at the sides of her eyes. She had never cried at work and she wasn't about to. Raising his hand to the door made her heart skip for a second, she just wanted to scream to the world about unfair treatment and everything else. She didn't.

From behind her the kitchen staff weren't running but rushing. The sounds were so distracting that you wouldn't be able to focus on anything else even if you tried. Suddenly a gruff growl came from behind Rachel as both she and Jacob turned to see a kitchen staff member with a prison like vibe staring back at them.

"Take them out man! There's loads more after this." One of the kitchen staff piped up and she was so thankful for it because if they hadn't it would have meant at the least five trips and that wasn't the best way to deliver food. In total honesty she thought she was going to get yelled at for telling Jacob to do his job.

Jacob tossed his hair, as much as he could, and headed for the plates. All the while he kept talking to himself in an inaudible tone and voice. However, Rachel couldn't care less about his moaning and complaining as she had help, forced help but help. As quick as she could she picked the plates up but remained looking at the kitchen man before smiling and walking off. She'd never got any of their names but she didn't know why. Was she really that shy to not at least figure out who else she'd been working with?

Exiting the kitchen she saw the man at the bar and as soon as he saw her his face seemed to light up but she became more deflated. Thinking he wanted to see her was ridiculous so maybe he just wanted the food.

"Need a hand?" There was nothing mocking about it, he just wanted to help and sounded so genuinely nice that she found it so hard to keep thinking negatively about him.

Without even thinking she put her hands forward and he took the plates from her and she turned back into the kitchen. Retrieving another few plates and heading back out she started towards the table as he began coming back towards her.

Again he took the plates and again she turned back to the kitchen. When she came out this time she noticed Jacob waiting at the back of the restaurant pretending to clean tables and pick up plates, though she knew everything was clean because a minute before Melanie came in, she'd cleaned it.

Approaching the table she put the final plates down and people moved them to who had ordered them. As soon as she placed the last plate she was gone but the man didn't follow her this time, now he was looking to Melanie who look totally serious and furious.

*

Another hour went by; customers were, here, there and everywhere, she had gone round and cleaned everything again as well as dealing with customers who... weren't the nicest of people. All the while Jacob avoided doing anything, and he was meant to be leading her.

At the bar there are certain things that can be done to close it whilst customers are still in the restaurant and that what she was now starting on; cleaning glasses, cleaning shelves and everything else that she was doing by herself.

"Hi." A familiar and calming voice came from over the bar but to actually recognize it would be to do the impossible. All the noise in the restaurant was ruining everyone's ear. Especially hers.

"One second, I'll be right with you." Shouting back over the bar felt pointless but she had to do it anyway so that no-one could complain and she wouldn't have to lie about doing it. Popping back up she froze after a second seeing the man there in front of her.

"Hi... I'm PJ! This is forward but I wanna try! Do you want to go out sometime?" Sincerity rung out in every word and the thought of someone actually propositioning her was amazing but she had to calm herself, she had to think logically. Almost instantly she began looking round him checking for cameras, Melanie and the 8 other people that could ruin her life from this moment.

He was smiling but she could see that he was terrified of being turned down. His eyes were beautiful and they had got a lot wider as he stood here in front of her as though he was asking his date to the prom.

"Hi... I'm Rachel, if this isn't a trick then... I'd like that." At first he seemed confused but after she said yes the smile cracked all across his face and he was literally beaming. Again she checked round him but couldn't see anyone there but at the very end of the restaurant there she was, staring at them. "Question, what's your relationship with my sister?" Her voice wasn't cruel or even inquisitive, she was simply asking him something that could determine their relationship.

Shock spat in his face and kept its mark on him for some time as she stood waiting for his answer. If they were previously together or close friends then she couldn't go any further but from the look on his face he was clearly not expecting that.

"Friend! Strictly friends... well not really friends. She's a friend of a friend but she's not the type of person I want or like to be friends with." Honesty. At least that was something. One final look over his shoulder and there was no-one left, none of his friends or Melanies friends. It just seemed to be PJ and Rachel.

Leaning himself forward he began smiling again and examining her face as she tried to look at his but the embarrassment was thrown right back in her face but she didn't feel uncomfortable about it. One more glance and her face would turn into a beetroot. Trying to build herself up she had one final thing to ask and it wasn't his phone number or anything crude.

"What do you want out of all this? I mean... A relationship, with me?" Rachel already sounded heartbroken as though he was going to say sex or money but his face softened as he continued to watch the entirety of her face, checking all her features as though his answer was going to make her run away or determine their relationship.

"There's one thing I want out of this... For you to love yourself." PJ sounded so warm and loving that she had to accept what he said. She wanted to relax with him and she'd only known him for a few hours and not really known him... just seen him because she was definitely looking at him.

Well, today was definitely not like any other day!