Emotional Control

I do not want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.

Emotion has a bad reputation in our society. People often associate it with being weak or losing control. But emotions help people make connections stronger and deeper with others. Emotional awareness is necessary as it constructs a link between the information generated inside the body and the resultant behavior. Emotional control is an important topic to discuss as knowing where and when to react can help in various tasks of daily life. Emotional control is necessary for progressing in life happily and successfully.

Emotional control guides us that there is no need to tell everybody about the trials or hard times you are facing or how happily you are enjoying life. Because of no emotional control, some people make the moods of others off because of their own bad moods. Emotional control teaches a person to conduct a specific behavior during difficult situations. James J. Gross is a well-known researcher for his study on emotional control. He is a psychologist and professor at Stanford University. He explained,

The inability to control or regulate your emotions is the root cause of some psychological disorders including depression, social anxiety, and borderline personality.

No matter how psychologically healthy a person is, most people can benefit from learning to manage their feelings in everyday life. With the habit of emotional control, a person can rescue himself from overwhelming negativity during difficult situations by keeping emotions under control.

Here are nine easy steps to follow for having emotional control:

Physical activities

Physical activities can relieve stress and enable a person to deal with challenging emotions. Exercise has a profound impact on attitude and condition of mind. Physical activity is a verified stress reliever. It also delivers harmony in life, giving the person a much-needed sense of stability and control. If a person struggles with controlling his emotions, he must do different healthy exercises, such as doing yoga for at least 15 minutes, wandering around in the house, or stretching his arms and legs. A little of any physical activity can completely alter your feelings.

Labelling feelings

Labeling feelings is another valuable strategy to have control of emotions. Many people work hard to manage the negativity because they do not understand their feelings sometimes or the reason behind their certain feelings. For example, a person might feel down after making a blunder at work. It may lead to feeling negative because of anxiety about making mistakes in the future or reputation among coworkers. Each feeling pinpoints a remarkable, complex emotion that impacts a person in a certain way. If a person deduces what he feels in a moment, he can control emotions and discover coping means. Be specific because every emotion, even the ones that you do not like, deserves your time and attention. Giving your feelings a name like sadness, anger, shame, or insecurity whenever you feel down is a helpful approach towards emotional control.

Asking self questions

The better a person understands his emotions, the more he can have control over his personality. Asking self questions regarding emotions during sadness as a person asks others during hard times. A person may get irritated because of self-asking, but it will help in knowing how a person treats his friends or family members in their hard times. When a person struggles to control your emotions, ask yourself questions about the way you feel. Exploring the emotions at a deeper level that creates tension and negativity can help in emotional control. Some people might feel weird having a conversation or asking questions about themselves, but these moments of self-compassion assist you in understanding the way you feel in specific situations.

Having self-awareness

Writing does not come innately to everyone. Some individuals avoid writing because they put high expectations on them that they can speak about their emotions confidently. Other people may gaze at a blank page and have nothing to write about their feelings. Journals offer a place to write in total privacy. Reporting in a journal is a beneficial practice as it assists in having self-awareness. The journal may be a portal for your feelings as you can write about anything you want in any way you want. You can ask yourself questions, explore emotions, and consult your problems without suspicion of critique or objection. Even if you do not know what to say, try 15 minutes of writing about your emotions and feelings. Say whatever comes to your mind. Explore whatever you feel. You might not be able to say anything special at a time, but even the simplest forms of expression can alter your viewpoint. So, having self-awareness is a great way to have emotional control.

Focusing on positive experiences

In difficult times of fear, insult, and insecurity, thoughts spiral out of control, little issues turn into utter disasters, and it feels like you can do nothing. Sometimes, the burden of making a silly mistake made earlier fills a person with regret and makes him wish he could have done things differently. When there is a trap of negativity whirl, calculating the blessings rather than the burdens can help in emotional control. In simple words, diverting attention from destructive incidents to positive ones is a better option. Concentrating on happy and uplifting moments instead of errors or regrets allows a person to cope with negative emotions. During difficult times, think about your adventures and passions; think about barriers overcome and objectives accomplished by you. If you can memorize your most favorable moments, you can recover from the most overwhelming feelings.

Distinguishing feelings

People take offense and frustration as substitutable emotions, but they are separate. A person can encounter offense when a person or event has in some way done wrong. For example, if somebody makes fun of you, it makes you angry. On the other hand, you encounter frustration when you experience something you cannot adjust or manage. For example, if you worked too hard to gain a promotion, but you did not get it, it makes you frustrated. All the people who are able to distinguish between anger and frustration can control their emotions better. Spend a few minutes every day understanding the feeling behind every emotion if you want to have emotional control in a better way.

Creating personal space

When something unusual happens, it is crucial to get freedom from negative thoughts and emotions by going away from everything. Flee to a spot where you can live, ponder, and reflect on your feelings. Responsibilities and expectations create stress, shame, and insecurity in your life all of which may amplify your negativity. Living your life is a heavy burden, but do not be scared to create a personal space when you require it. Even if you have an engaged timetable, spend some minutes on yourself. A few minutes of isolation can stabilize your spirit, remove the fog, and provide you with several much-needed perspectives.

Buying satisfaction

Spending money is one of the most famous coping hobbies in the world. People purchase costly or luxury objects to fill gaps in their lives. But, it is widely accepted that money cannot buy you happiness. No amount of irresponsible spending will change the way you feel. It does not mean that money is unable to affect your emotions. Although, spending money is not going to make you happy forever. You cannot buy a lifetime of positivity. But the funds you expend and the items you purchase are all is in your hands. Researchers found in a study that certain spending habits encourage more positive emotions. Offering money to needy persons can bring you more happiness than spending money on yourself. They discovered a strong connection between happiness and helping donations.

Avoiding emotional toxins

To gain more power over the feelings, a person must adjust the methods of managing negativity. People get angry at their anger and frustrated with their frustration without understanding those emotions are a toxin and require getting rid of the body.

Negativity is like harm you need to cultivate and care for. It means figuring out the root of the problem and paying attention to your vulnerabilities. Do not treat your emotions like your enemy. It is not a bad thing to have a range of positive and negative emotions. The most emotionally intelligent people try hard to experience all kinds of emotions, positive and negative, freely. The reason you lose control is not that you can get angry. It is because you are ashamed of your anger. If you stop denying your emotions, you may discover those feelings are not as toxic as you thought.

Disclaimer: The story has already been published on other platforms.