Dupont Circle

I know that when you think of Dupont Circle you think of two men interacting together. But I could not find a picture of two men inraptured with each other. And this picture sort of fits the story. This reflection is what I think every women should be looking for and yet none of them are. It might get you confused, but that is okay, it is just my perspective,

Scanning through instagram. At first glance all I see is the over done sexuality, the woman who so unnaturally promote their career by dispaying their bodies. And then suddenly there is something different.

There is a video of two men showing a natural manner of dancing. They seem so naturally to be playing and interacting with each other. Suddenly my mind floats back to Dupont circle. The men at night naturally grabbing- naturally physically communicating with their partner. I know that some even in the time of AIDS perform their acts for money. Yet when I walked behind these couples in Dupont circle I felt so free.

A bad day, trying so hard to follow societies rules, and yet they so happily followed human's human nature, their inner drive not trapped, based on the rules of society.

My first sex partner had been like that. He wanted me where ever we were. He presented passion not boredom, all he wanted was to touch me and give me pleasure, pleasing me pleased him. I did not have to work to entice it out of him, it just came naturally. There was no choreographed routine that we went through. And when we touched each other I never knew how I would react, And I did not notice the people walking by, as we entangled. When we disappeared under the bush I did not think about the world around me. I felt relaxed and free. Although I did say no to sleeping with him in the back seat of someones car. The request made me laugh, he was just trying to show off, and I told him no way.

When I lived in Washington DC, life was stress and disaster but when I wanted to feel the freedom I occassionally walked down to Dupont Circle at night, and suddenlly I could breath. And I was not just a stalker, God did two or three times granted me kisses the made me honestly sing when I returned to my apartment. I'm mad about you, your mad about me. I never sleep with anybody on the first incounter, so I would make a white russian, and feel alive again and slip into a relaxed sleep.. I just felt sane to feel a real natural human connection. To follow the natural impulses that god gave us.

Why would a woman want a man, who climbs in the bed and just lies there. Is that his natural response to her. All that has ever caused my mind is confusion. It is not my job to indice him, if he feels no desire naturally, he should just move on. So of course while in DC I spend a lot of nights in Dupont circle, since not very many men had a natural response towards me.

Now I am living in the town of hell, Sex is to have babies, only. Once they achieve that objective each member of the couple dwells in thier own bedroom,

Thinking back on my memories, while I was writing this I felt so relaxed, I felt so happy. but as I started reflecting on my life in this confused time all I want to do is cry