Don't Make Me Lose My Time

I will put it honestly and bluntly for everyone to see:

"Don't Lose My Time!"

"My Short-Precious Valuable Time!"

Let me tell you a short story for single naïve women out there thinking that there's still a chance or a happy ending after a terrible breakup, it doesn't happen for everyone. There is not one size fits all and Hallmark channel is worst than Fox News.

A month ago at my job, I got a surprise attention by a new employee in another department who started a few weeks ago. He was scrawny, southern looking boy with medium thick beard and all. I was just minding my business since I have a strong believe that never mix pleasure with work. If I want "pleasure" I rather find it elsewhere. So, I stayed with this belief in mind for decades.

Until now.

This southern guy with a charming attitude wrapped in optimism and sense of humor took a glance at me, and I wasn't interested at first because I was dealing with a prior mess of a breakup. I was focused on planning a vacation in the coming weeks because I needed to recharge my emotional and mental batteries. I wasn't interested in having a summer fling, not even in the workplace. For myself, summer fling doesn't mean a special kind of bond. For this guy however, he was looking at me as a prey and I didn't noticed.

One day, my co-workers were pulling me aside in their office to tell me that this guy has a crush on me. And I thought it was a sort of a joke. In a few hours he was trying to approach me to have a conversation with me but I was brushing it off. It turned like the sort of cat and mouse from Tom & Jerry where the cat becomes a little bit frustrated and the mouse is laughing his ass off from every tactic this cat did. Honestly, I was playing a dumb girl who didn't know a clue. That until, at the very same office, he approach to say good bye and in a few seconds he gave a small paper with his name and his phone number. I felt shocked because I'm just the one who give phone numbers to guys most of the time and I always get rejected. After work, I took his paper and texted him at first. Then, I called him and we choose to be at a restaurant to just have a casual meeting. It felt like I won the lotto. I thought, this is finally it! The person who will be part of my love story is finally here after all these setbacks, hurts and heartbreaks!

But, in the real world, I didn't expected this:

At the meeting, in the middle of the short conversation he placed all the cards on the table started with the bad ones to the little bit bad ones.

• He's divorced
• Recovering Addict
• Ex-Felon
• Had two daughters

Followed by: "I'm trying to get my life back on track."

I was like shocked. I didn't have any more words to say all while in the open air there's a huge amount of red flags waving like it doesn't care. Didn't have to ask any more questions because that all I needed. And yet, I was going to give a chance and second chances do wonderful things, if that person is worth it. Hoping that besides all the red flags this changed guy who visits a church on Sundays, will have a blessing of having a relationship in the near future. After the restaurant chat, we parted ways and he was interested in me for a few days and I was quite optimistic about it.

Then, it just went South. After three or four days, he lost interest. I was practically doing the "effort" not to fail. But his reasons were, he was working extra shifts and "helping" people on his time off. He basically ghosted me and have a final conversation in which he reiterated: "I don't have a time for a relationship." Or so he said. And I was kind of bummed, but decided to go forward with going to my vacation. Hopefully he will text me out of the blue or so.

During my vacation, I didn't receive a call or a text from this person. But I had "fun" by being out and being in the lake and going to different types of restaurants by myself. Didn't meet anyone or have some sort of romance or summer fling. It was me, nature and the Universe, hoping for a miracle.

Well, a few weeks later after my vacation, I checked on social media and found a comment from him from a random post. When I clicked on his profile it has been changed from "Single" to "In a Relationship." I felt puzzled and wanted to check who was the lucky/unlucky lady to match. To make matters worse, the person involved is one from my work but from a higher department.

I felt shitty.

I felt angry.

Very angry.

I Felt like I was placed back into the rack after taking me out to see if I'm the right fit. He wasn't ready for a relationship with me, but was ready for a situationship with someone else.

What I received after that it was just consolation words: "You dodged the bullet." followed by "This guy clearly has serious red flags." Instead, the other lady, received "congratulations!" "I am so happy for you!" and I wished it could be me, because I'm tired of condolences!

My anger that day was so restless that I have to go to the bar to calm my nerves. My self-esteem and my confidence has been taken a big hit on me. And in the middle of the music and drinks, a known friend approached me to say hi, and we had a short conversation. It was soothing to at least talk to someone that actually knows what the hell is going on with me and he made me feel a little bit better.

After a few weeks of "courtship" this couple got "married." But it was short because the guy got fired. Moral of the story, don't have any expectations. I mean any expectations when meeting people for dating. Use your time wisely. The moment these guys lose interest, don't dwell on it. Stop making the damn effort and detach! And never, ever mix work with pleasure because it will affect your source of income.