Don't Let Love Blind You

You think you know someone, but do you really know them that well? How many times have you been in a situation where you have, let's say, told that special someone something that is intensely personal and they have completely blanked you and told you to "grow up" or replied with "cute" or "fair enough?"

The truth is they aren't worthy of you! Why would you want someone in your life who constantly brings you down or doesn't make you feel good about yourself, or least of all, doesn't even care about what you say?! The ones who talk about themselves all of the time are super self-centered and are absolutely no support for you whatsoever!

So, why do we always go back to them? Even when they do treat you like shit? Because love is a harsh thing and anyone who has been "in love," in a relationship or not, will believe that even though these toxic people are sending all this hatred and anger and the not-giving-a-shit attitude, it doesn't exist to us because, feelings are feelings and love is one of the most powerful things in our existence, it keeps us breathing, it keeps us living and it produces generations and generations of man-kind.

But, you're thinking, why me? Why does this person (guy/girl) feel like it's okay to play me? Or feel like they can walk all over me? Do you drop everything that you're doing in a heartbeat because they messaged or called you? Because trust me, you're not the only one. There are millions, even billions of people who are young, in love and have no idea what to do when it comes to relationships—maybe because they've never been in one, or just because they are blinded by the viewings of perfection in their eyes!

But you ask yourself, is it all worth it? Only you can decide. If you have the will-power and energy to fight for something that you think could be your future, DON'T GIVE UP! Give it time, give them space to realize what they're missing. Don't isolate yourself from them, just don't be that person that turns into an annoying spammer by messaging or sending the old snapchat everyday. However, if you have already tried this and you haven't heard from them in a solid five weeks then you know that they aren't worth it. You are worth so much more. Don't be that person that chases after someone who doesn't care about you because in some ways it can make you look overly desperate, especially, if you're doing it because you think you can change their mind about you or even change them as person (this is never a good way to start anything, just saying).

You have to be careful with who you trust your heart with, because things like this will blow up in your face and knock on your self-confidence and self-esteem that you've built up. Trust me, I know. Especially if you get rejected in person and made a laughing stock by their numpty friends.

You've finally figured out that you seriously need to move on because it's been *cough* seven years *cough* or maybe one year or even a few months. (If it's only been a few weeks, then yeah maybe give it more time and a second thought—I'm just saying this from experience.) So, the big question is how to move on from a crush you've had for a long time?

In some ways you may think that it's impossible. To be truthful, it will be hard and definitely take time for you to heal. However, this is where you are strong and you can leave all of these feelings in the past, and walk away with your head held high as a proud, confident, independent human being and eventually get back on track.

Don't be tempted to contact the person that you have fallen for, if they aren't interested it will bite you in the ass and hurt badly. Especially, when this person replies with, "Why are you still speaking to me?" angle, or when they have a "said what they wanted to say" conversation and they haven't left you with anything to reply with. The next step would be for you to initiate the conversation after maybe already looking desperate. My personal view would be to, straight up steer clear of dropping yourself in this zone. Messaging your crush at this time of moving on could make it harder for you in the long run, which won't help with your broken heart. As well as throwing you way out of the friend zone and nowhere near becoming back to how things were.

The only way that you would be able to salvage your friendship is, to give it time! Now, speaking from experience, if you jump back in straight away with the 'can we still be friends' card or with the confusion and question of whether your friends status is still live and stable. The likely outcome is that you're either going to be aired and brushed off or the chances are that things are less likely to go back to normal between you both. Timing is everything.

Once you've calmed down a bit and are feeling more confident about yourself, go out with your friends on a mystical weekend to a festival or show. Of course if that's you're style, go for it. Or go to pubs/bars/cafes during the day or even to random places like the zoo or aquarium, get back out there and meet new people. Don't be so guarded! Approach people and let them in. It doesn't have to be to the point where you're telling them everything about yourself, but just the things you feel comfortable with sharing. As long as; you keep it safe and not pushy, or not to the point where you seem desperate because that will put some people off straight away.

If you feel that you don't want to go out and find new love, let it come to you. Don't try and chase it or encourage it, let your special someone find you. Take this time to concentrate on family, friends and things that you love. Take that independence and embrace it as much as you can. Live up to the expectations you set as a kid, go out and follow your dreams, make yourself proud and be inspirational to everyone and anyone!

Don't let anyone tell you that you're not good enough, because you are worth hours of anyone's time! Just remember to NEVER lose who you are in the process of searching for your next happy place. And don't lose any sleep over people who act like they don't give a shit about you because these people seriously don't know what they're missing!

- H xo