Do Cancers Suck?

Astrologically speaking, I know nothing about the stars. As a 27-year-old, I recently took a job at a grocery store deli for $9 an hour. In my heart, I knew it was temporary. The manager quickly let me know that one of the reasons she hired me was because I’m a Taurus and apparently that means I don’t like change. She thought I was going to stick around for a long time. Again, I was getting paid $9 an hour.

Being born in may means I don’t like change? Let me tell you about all the changes I want. The man I love has cancer. I’m ready for that to change. He’s still closeted and I’m a secret in his life. I’m ready for that to change. I’m currently working 12-hour days between three different jobs just to make it by financially. I’m ready for that to change. I wake up every day wondering if I’ll ever find something better. Please change. I look at my self in the mirror and beg me to do what ever needs to be done to make the changes for which I’m so desperate. When Daddy got cancer, I quit my job to have a more flexible schedule. We see two examples of positive change in this situation. First, I call him daddy. It was a change that needed some getting used to, but I’m glad I did it. Second, I’ve had 4 different jobs in the last month because my needs kept changing.

I’d change anything for a better future. I’d change a baby’s diaper, exchange my change to pay for things, change my paradigm, change the way I do my hair, change my mind, and change the past. So don’t you ever try to tell me that my birthday means I don’t like change. For as long as I can remember I’ve craved change. I haven’t lived in the same place for over a year since 2011. I go through music faster than the Kool-Aid man goes through walls.

Now to play devil’s advocate. Being a Taurus also means I’m loyal. That part is insanely true. I’ll remain loyal to you for as long as you’ll allow me to. I still strongly advocate for the same crappy bands I listened to when I was 12. Call me crazy all you want, but I knew I’d sacrifice everything for the man I love from the first day I met him. As long as he doesn’t kick me out of his life, I’ll do anything for him. I feel less like a significant other, and more like Alfred to batman. And let’s be honest, Alfred was the real hero. Batman wouldn’t be as useless as his dead parents without him.

I’m loyal, but I’m ready to change. I’d move a mountain one bucket at a time if I could cure cancer right now. Not cancer as in the star sign. Although I just asked my google home, and apparently, they’re super insecure, so maybe I should try to cure them as well. The one thing we can all agree on is cancer[s] suck.

To wrap this up, I’m super drunk. If I were sober, I would never end an essay with “To wrap this up.” But I also wouldn’t be drunk If I didn’t need things to change so badly. Please don’t tell me I don’t like change. Although, as devils advocate number 2, the smaller change would be the cancer going away. The bigger change would be learning to live without him. So maybe the stars know me better than I’d like to admit. Astrologically speaking, cancer sucks.