Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband,

I hope this letter finds you in good health. You do not know who I am yet, but don’t worry because you have an entire lifetime of a marriage to get to know me. I do not know who you are or how you even look but I promise you that I love you so much that I’m willing to pour out my heart to you even before I get to know you!

So before you do get to know me, I want to clear out a few things first.

I take a LOT of time to get comfortable with people. I’m not someone who texts you first in the morning or someone who will share everything with you right from day 1. I am a very closed book, I do not like to divulge secrets about myself but when I do decide to tell you something, do understand that I do it only because I trust you with those secrets more than myself.

I have OCD — and no I am not crazy. I am a very creative and intuitive human being with many aspirations in life and plenty of memories to share. I am just like you, but there are times when I can’t extricate myself from these intrusive thoughts. I may seem distant sometimes, but it is only because I am bothered by my inner demons. I’ve always been apprehensive about telling my future partner about my OCD, it just feels so scary to put forth your innermost fears in front of another person. But promise me that you will be there for me throughout my journey. I want to be with you on the days my OCD gets bad. I am quite recovered now but I can’t assure you that I won’t be going back into my compulsive habits in the future. Just promise that you will be there for me come what may. I want to be able to confide my innermost fears and pet peeves with you.

Apart from my OCD, I am a pretty cool person to hang out with. I am a total bookaholic (so now you know what to get me as presents!). I love singing and I am a very good public speaker. Give me any topic on the spot and I am bound to take up more than 5 minutes of your time NON-STOP!

So with the above points out in the open, I feel much better and I hope you do too.

I do appear pretty distant at first sight, I do not talk unless I am talked to. But once you get the party started, you’ll have to beg me to stop talking. I crave intellectual conversations. I do not want you to buy me a diamond ring or take me out on expensive dates. I want you to be right beside me so that we can gaze at the stars together. I want to sing duets with you. I want you to watch your handsome self while you’re teaching our kids how to ride a bike. I just want to lean on your shoulder while watching a movie. I want to catch a glimpse of you tucking the children to bed. Show me your innermost self, tell me about your deepest fears and desires. I want to know all of them.

I want to burn for you, kindle your flame. Just understand that when I’m troubled in the future, I just need you to be there for me, rubbing my back. I will do the same for you. I have never poured my heart out to anyone apart from my diary and my mother. To rip my heart into another piece might take time, but once I do rip it out for you, there’s no going back.

The moment you wake up, I will be here with your coffee mug in my hands, and before we sleep your loving smile is all I need. I love baking, so you can expect to smell delicious-smelling aromatics, the moment you come home any at any time of the day. Tell me all about what you love to do, lets us do the things we love doing together. Take me to places that you were scared to visit with others. Show me who you are when nobody’s watching.

I want to end this letter by telling you that whatever times we may have to face in the future, let’s do it together. None of us are perfect but let us complete each other. Let us solve our jigsaw puzzle of life together. Whatever is yours is mine and whatever is mine is yours.

From your loving future wife

Originally published in An Open Letter to My Future Husband