Dating Bill of Rights

In this society, the do’s and don’t of relationships have grown askew. Faulty and jaded double-standards, blinding both male and female to the importance of connection. Because both parties are held to such high, or low, standards, the health of relationships can be hard to maintain. Misconceptions and cruel misbehaviors, can turn to questions of consent and a gross possessive attitude or insecurity. But this isn’t all the blame of the individual, but a lack of dating/sexual education.

Because of my high school education, at a vocational expeditionary school, I gained awareness of dating abuse. As a community we learned to recognize the blatant or insidious symptoms of various forms of abuse. With that knowledge, we thought of what guidelines we want set for us as a community; as a society.

This was my take on the fundamentals to avoid dating abuse.

1: In this relationship I have the right to open communication with my partner.

Meaning that, concerns and opinions don't fall on deaf ears, and neither person has complete control over the other. Compromises have to be met before a final decision is met.

2: In this relationship I have the right to consent.

Unless the word "yes" is clearly spoken, you or I are not to pressure the other into doing something they are clearly uncomfortable with. Whether it be sexual relations or otherwise.

3: In this relationship I have the right to some degree of privacy.

Meaning that, we have enough trust and faith not to break through any social media accounts, or to track conversations. However, honesty amongst us is a must.

4: In this relationship I have the right to live free from emotional and physical threat and or abuse.

By no means necessary, should our hands be raised against the other. In times of disagreement or confrontation, both of our voices are to be heard. Use of threats of slander as persuasion is prohibited.

5: In this relationship I have the right to emotional support.

Meaning that, we are to accept and acknowledge each other's differences and struggles, and are to stay by each other's side in our time of need.

6: In this relationship I have the right to have guaranteed trust between us.

There is to be no secrecy, and a third party isn't to be involved if there is miscommunication. Previous relationships or mistakes can't be the basis of an argument or concern, and threats can't be passed. We respect each other's words as truth.

7: In this relationship I have the right to friends without argument.

There shouldn't be isolation out of jealousy. Giving up friends doesn't make up a healthy relationship. Instead compromise by asking: "Which of my friends do you feel comfortable with, and which would you rather me see without you?"

8: In this relationship I have the right for my rights and ideals to be respected.

It is unrealistic to expect or demand that we have the same priorities, goals, and interests. Your and my opinion are individualized to match our personalities and life choices, so to describe it as stupid or crazy, is rather hurtful.

9: In this relationship I have the right to respect change.

Nothing stays the same, at some point one thing will lead to another. We both have to anticipate that we will both change over time, and respecting and valuing these changes is important.

10: In this relationship I have the right to agree to disagree and move on.

Issues will arise where a compromise can't be met. Rather than continuing a cycle or arguments, we have to find a solution or work around the issue. But only in a way that benefits both of us, and the issue isn't to be ignored.