Compassion

Compassion is the Key! or so the saying goes.

Is it, or isn't it?

When we use compassion for others why do we not use that same compassion on ourselves?

What does compassion even mean?

The definition of compassion from dictionary.com is

Noun: a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

verb (used with object)

Archaic. to have compassion for;

Another meaning is to suffer together. From https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/compassion/definition, Compassion means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.

This has me wondering then if compassion for ourselves is the correct word to use if we are looking at our own deeper healing or if there is a better term or phrase, another word.

I have been looking deeper at the feelings under my layers of fear around certain things and I’ve come to see that I hold very little compassion for myself but have a lot of compassion for the cats and dogs, some of my grandchildren but not all of my grandchildren, the same goes for people in general.

So, I wondered WHY? As I have explored this I have found that some patterns and stories hold me in this fluctuating compassion-non-compassion cycle.

Family patterns and stories handed down through the ancestral line are the answer for now but I believe this goes much deeper and wider somehow.

It seems to me to be a wound that has been carried on through the generations something that was possibly relevant then but not now, each generation and person puts their emotional connection to this pattern and as it evolves it becomes something similar almost the same but still different.

I began looking at how I can better support myself and heal the wounds of the past and other lifetimes many years ago but I kept expecting someone else to fix it for me.

Nothing worked, my pain was in my judgements and my lack of compassion and it has affected me in subtle ways. Fear, hiding denial and lack of forgiveness. Walking away shutting down burying my head in the sand turning a blind eye.

Avoidance

Forgiveness kept coming up and gratitude.

Forgiveness of self is something many won't do, it's like a vice they keep themselves locked in.

Forgiveness is forgiving yourself for not being able to save yourself or not having the resources to stop something from happening.

Forgiveness on Dictionary .com noun: act of forgiving; state of being forgiven.

Verb: disposition or willingness to forgive.

But do the words matter?

For some, words are everything it's something they need to hear and then feel. For others, the feeling of forgiveness is something they experience in their bodies a sighing, soothing balm in subtle waves they need through their body.

The words I’m sorry, or I’m so sorry you had to experience this can be enough to open the channels for healing. But for others, it has to go much deeper to be heard and felt and repeated out loud.

Forgiving ourselves is one of the hardest things to do.

Why?

Because we aren’t taught to forgive ourselves, we are taught to build a bridge and get over it, suck it up and deal with it princess, you brought this on yourself attitude I can't speak for other cultures but the Australian culture is certainly of that attitude. Forgiveness of self is not something that has been taught, forgiving others yes but not yourself.

But are we taught to forgive graciously and fully or is it a begrudging I’m sorry that are merely hollow words without the full feeling being sent through?

What happens when someone has had a significant irrational reaction to something or someone, they don't know why it makes no sense, yet it feels real, it feels like someone is going to jump out of the woods and drag you to be hanged or burned, it feels like no matter what they do or says they will be persecuted for it, so they stay hidden and in conflict with themselves because they also feel they must do something, they must be seen they have a purpose a mission.

This personally is something that has been a big part of my journey, feeling that I could not forgive or say sorry always feeling like I had done something very wrong and I would be persecuted hanged or sent into isolation, always feeling like the slave or servant.

Yet in this life, I haven’t been or had any of these things happen.

But the feelings are so real.

So how does this happen? From a spiritual lightworker's perspective, we carry imprints in our cellular bodies that hang onto memories and feelings that have been significant emotional events positive and negative throughout lifetimes and generations.

An example of this would be in another life you may have been caught stealing and hanged for your crime even though you were only trying to not starve to death. Now in this life, you may experience feelings of always needing to have food around taking snacks out with you just in case you get hungry, or you feel that if you eat something that is someone else’s you will be taken away and punished.

With generational or ancestral patterns an example might be someone who was a servant many generations ago and feel you can’t move forward in creating that new project or that you’re not good enough to be included in that project because you don’t belong.

You continually have this inner conflict of needing to be better and fix what feels broken with no compassion for yourself at all.

We all have these memories stored within us but they don’t always hold us back. But as a lightworker with the lightworker wound we often only remember the negative and don’t see the positives, these do hold us back. We also have stories we consistently silently listen to they are patterns and programs we run every day eg: I’m not worth it, I don’t deserve whatever it is, we are afraid of our real power and yet we also feel like saviours, like we have to save the world from the evils that encircle it.

We live with inner conflict as a daily guide and we shy away from the things we desperately wish to do. Heal everyone

We cannot or we refuse to forgive ourselves, show ourselves the love and compassion we show others.

Why? For as many unique reasons as there are people on this planet.

So if you have ever felt any of this on a deep fear filled; level then start to practice forgiving yourself, you don’t need to be specific Just I'm Sorry, Please Forgive me, Ho’Oponopono is one tool and you can expand it as you say I’m sorry you can add I’m sorry you feel you aren’t worth it.

Whatever phrase you are saying or feeling within yourself is a great place to start.

I have very recently discovered a Healer and his work feels like the connecting pieces for me to experience compassion, and forgiveness together and it works.

His name is Edward Mannix and his Compassion Key work has been an answer for me.

My hope is if you have recognised you have the lightworker wound then you have had an awakening in your awareness and that you will begin to be as compassionate and forgiving to yourself as you are with others and that if you are not compassionate to others because you are withholding that then perhaps your lightworker wound is very old and deep and you feel you cannot give compassion to others because it will make you weak and vulnerable and that the best path for you is survival.

This too is a lightworker wound and creates an inner conflict that you may not recognise as an inner conflict but it shows up as a stubborn refusal to give but to withhold.

My reflections on this are intricate and It’s not always easy to put into writing things I see understand and feel.

If you wish to know more about the Lightworkers wound and Edward Mannix I have included his link

https://edwardmannix.com/

If you wish to understand ancestral healing and generational or past life patterns there are many websites to research.

If you wish to reach out and experience a past life, and generational forgiveness by reclaiming your essence then connect with me and we can chat.

These are my reflections; I could go further and deeper but I will leave this here for now.