Charles’s 30th

Charles is one of my best mates and there has been plenty of ups and downs like any friendship. I guess the important thing is we both came out on top and are still closer than ever. Charles and I became friends through my Uni friends that I had met earlier on in the year. We all went to University and studied various subjects, but we all interconnected at some point along the way. Ali and I did Education studies together as well as Anthropology 101, and Kadin joined us in our Anthropology 101 class. Lafonda-green had classes with both Eden and Kadin. Thus, through a series of lucky coincidences, the group was formed.

Eden and Lafonda-green had attended the same high school and were both studying a Health degree at Uni. At high school they knew each other, but were not friends and didn’t really hang out in the same group. Uni started, and when things are new and unfamiliar, familiar faces are a relief, so you are drawn to each other. Kadin and I were also from the same school. Kadin had graduated in the year above me, so we had never really seen each other at school and didn’t know of each other. Ali was the only one that didn't have any clear ties to the group before Uni had started.

Outside of Uni, we started to hang out with Eden’s old school group which included Charles, Madison, Lumi and Micah. Charles and I just clicked straight away. We were both tall, skinny, pretty and completely lanky and retarded in all other aspects of our lives. We both hated exercise, loved to drink, and half lived at McDonald’s. The local shopping centre and Charles’s bedroom floor became our new home when we were not at Uni or McDonalds.

We all stayed pretty good friends for a good few years, but then life got in the way. We became more selfish with our time, busy with partners, and focused on our dreams. The group just sort of faded away. There were still regular phone calls, random catch ups, and talk of seeing each other more, but it rarely eventuated. Everyone moved away from the area, including myself, and it just got too hard. Ali moved 2 hours south to a cute town, Kadin & Madison became closer and moved South together. Lumi moved North and created a life for herself there. Eden floated in between the inner West and the North for jobs. Charles was either overseas or living in the city. I first moved far out west, then did a U-turn and moved to The Beaches. Micah moved to The Capital and was also over seas a lot. The only one that really stayed in the area was Lafonda-green. Lafonda-green moved out a few times but ended up back in the bible belt I had grown to love and hate.

The year of 30ths arrived, and it was the perfect excuse for us all to pull our fingers out, put in the effort, and have a massive get together. Charles was the one that had really tried to stay in contact with everyone from the group. Charles had over the years made the effort to fly to Melbourne, Drive to Canberra and Wilton and even fly up to Coffs harbour occasionally.

Charles organised the whole weekend without any help from any of the old crew. Charles booked it, paid for it all and even made a schedule for the weekend. (One I failed to read several times, but that's what good friends do right?) I just showed up and Charles told me what to do or pointed at something and I did it. I didn't need to know the ins and outs, just that I was here for ‘the birthday’, and I was to do birthday things. Charles hired a lovely cottage in Katoomba in the Blue Mountains during the peak of winter. It was able to take all 9 of us, and with my surprise everyone came. For Charles, we were all prepared to come together. Micah caught a bus up from Canberra and stayed at Charles's house in Cremorne the night before. I picked them up the next day and we drove up altogether, the trip was shorter than expected. I always remembered it being a drag to get up to the mountains. I guess our age was starting to show. We enjoyed the ride up, and the views we took in as we went around the winding hills and up into the cold thin air. The air is different up in the mountains. It's crisper and fresher, and it has a joyful taste to it, like nothing could get you down.

We decided to head up early and make the most of our long weekend. Most of us had taken the Friday off work for our great adventure. We meet Eden, Lafonda-green and Lumi first. We stopped for lunch in the quirky town of Leura, followed by a viewing of the Blue Mountains and The Three Sisters themselves before we checked into our Airbnb. Aboriginal legend has it that the three sisters were once real sisters who were turned to stone. The character of The Three Sisters changes throughout the day and throughout the seasons as the sunlight brings out the magnificent colours.

We arrived at Bunyip cottage around 3 pm after doing a big grocery shop at the local woollies. The first night, our plan was to have a few drinks and make some pizzas and wait for everyone to arrive from their various destinations. The whole group ended up arriving by 8pm that night, but many of us had started drinking by 4pm. I was well on my way to a happy place. I was on holiday and ready to be joyful. There may have been some dancing on tables and a few glasses broken but all in all it wasn’t too bad. I wasn’t abusing the nearby possums or trying to make out with a chair, so on my best behaviour really. Over the years we had had our share of feuds. Assumptions had been made, some had moved on, but some hung onto their anger. Most of the remaining lingering anger was directed at me. If anyone had had the right to be angry at me, it was definitely Ali. Charles and I had moved on from the past and said our sorry’s. But Ali, I know, I hurt the most. Even though Ali will never admit it, because Ali is damn strong, I hurt her. I had pushed her away, and I never had apologised for it. She had been trying to help, and I had turned on her.

Although I was causing a ruckus, Ali was the most tolerant of my behaviour and attention seeking. Ali was the last to arrive, and was well behind drinks wise, but she quickly saw the joy in the moment and flowed with it.

I now realise that Ali has always just seen me for me, which sounds pretty stupid when you say it out loud, but in life, very few people really see you, see you for who you are, not who they think you should be. No matter what I did, Ali supported me. Ali never got an apology from me, but still found it in her heart to forgive me. Ali was able to move on, see my current joy, and enjoy the moment. I admire her compassion, how she stayed true to herself, and how she was able to move on from hurts. I took an opportunity to drag Ali out on the balcony with me so I could smoke my cigarette.

I thanked Ali while I was outside, and apologised for never taking the time to say sorry for all my past mishaps. Ali told me not to be silly, and that was that. I can’t emphasise this enough, meeting someone who can forgive and move on is about as common as hens’ teeth. Forgiveness can be as hard or easy as you make it. Ali made it easy. I asked for forgiveness, and she forgave me. Whether time had had something to do with it, and it probably did, we both realised that we needed to live for the now instead of looking back.

Spending 3 full days and 3 full nights with old friends sound fabulous. It definitely was, but it also causes conflict. Little habits and annoyances that drove you apart in the past begin to resurface.

We were all on our best behaviour for Charles, and none of us wanted to cause any conflict and ruin her weekend. Sometimes people just clash and that’s ok. As long as both parties try to reign back the behaviours that trigger each other into manic rages, it can still work out ok. We started our second day with a big breakfast to fuel us for the day’s activities. Boy I had no idea what was coming. I should have read the bloody schedule. The plan was we would do a three to four-hour canyon walk, followed by a quick pub lunch, to then return to our single bathroom Air BNB to get ready for a photo shoot. Eden had organised the photo shoot for Charles as a 30th birthday present. We then had to drive twenty minutes to the location where we would set up a picnic and have photos taken of the group. After the photo shoot we would return to the house for a quick rest, before dinner at a Tapas bar twenty minutes down the road at 7.30pm.

The canyon walk nearly cost me my life. With unapologetic irony, while joking about throwing myself down the cliff so I could be airlifted out by a hot young paramedic, I twisted my ankle and rolled down the cliff. With incredibly poor timing and a tragic misstep, I looked like a spiteful bitch trying to ruin the walk for everyone else. I had turned to Kadin and said ‘I can’t wait till this is over and we’re at the pub having a burger and a pint of cider’ when I slipped. Kadin tried to grab me, but unfortunately, I slipped through his grasp when my ankle completed a 90 degree turn and my body followed suite. I rolled down the stairs and boy did that mother fucker hurt. I had dislocated my ankle, and then bounced so violently down the stairs that it had popped itself back into place. Somehow, I had managed to kick myself up my own arse with a dislocated ankle, and my arse has popped the ankle back into place. What can I say, my arse is my magic. But not magic enough. I was in a lot of pain and my ankle was swollen to a frightening degree.

Now I had two choices, whinge like a bitch and play up the drama, or suck it up and let everyone praise me for heroically refusing to let my disaster derail the day. Option number one meant waiting hours for medical help that might not have been a hot paramedic, option two meant temporary pain with cider at the end. I chose option two. Walk on it, get to the top, and get the fuck out of the canyon so I could have my cider and burger. The second choice seemed more logical and quicker at the time. It was freezing anyway, and with no food and barely any water left, I was not willing to be sober on the side of a mountain while I waited for the medivac. We safely made it to the top of the canyon and my ankle looked bad, really bad. It was like the elephant man’s leg. It was swollen and it hurt like a mofo to walk on. A few beers, some ice, and a pillow to elevate my leg, and I was sure it would be fine.

The photo shoot was delightful, and with that out of the way we were off to dinner. All a bit tipsy, and joyful from the champagne and wine we had downed during our picnic photoshoot. Dinner was at a fancy tapas bar in Lawson. It had large glass doors all around, and large stone tables. Very trendy, and a bit unexpected for the mountains. Everyone was dressed nicely and the staff seemed professional yet quirky.

We all sat in our places and luckily, I sat next to Ali and Lafonda-green. We had always got along, we were the fun ones, the ones who pushed the boundaries, and the ones who kicked things off. Tonight, we behaved ourselves. As to be expected, I was probably the most drunk. I thought I was controlling myself pretty well, but apparently not. Eden and Lumi told me off. They told me to grow up and act more responsibly, respectfully and respectably.

I’m sorry, how old am I again? Yes. I am nearing 30 and I’m pretty sure I am socially aware enough to know when I am acting reasonably. I was not doing anything wrong, and Eden and Lumi had no right to tell me off like a child. It made me feel like I was 19 again, and they like always, had to find fault with me. Just because I didn’t have a stick up my arse, and didn’t follow their imaginary made up rules for ‘how to behave in a slightly fancy restaurant’ didn’t mean I was the one with the problem. Even if I was in the wrong, I’m 30 years old and it is not the place of Eden and Lumi to play surrogate mum on me after not having seen me in years. To be honest, it pissed me off. It made me want to act like a complete dick, just to embarrass them. Instead I stormed outside for a cigarette to try and calm down.

On my return I noticed 4 people sitting up in the far back corner. Their table had stools and was higher than the other tables. It oozed drama and from the group’s theatrical hand gestures I could tell they were fellow fabulous types. I decided to join them, and stayed talking to them for an hour. This allowed me to avoid any more arguments with my ‘friends’ and kept the peace for Charles. The new group embraced me for everything I was. My faults, my great personality, my pure raw drunkenness, and downright inappropriateness. Not once did any of my new friends lecture me about being respectable. They were at heart, a different kind of people. People who took you for what you were, not what they thought you should be. Here, perched atop a stool, surrounded by strangers, drunk and dosed up on painkillers, I had an epiphany. Across the room were my friends, and here I was seeking solace with strangers. Just because you were once close friends, doesn’t mean you always will be.