Can a Man & Woman Just Be Friends?

Can a Man and a Woman just be friends? Many say no, never, and for a long time I agreed, up until I lucked up and met the person that would become my BEST FRIEND. It started in the smoking area of a large health insurance company where we were employed. I would see him every day, same time, twice a day but we never spoke. We had a mutual friend whose name I will not mention but she was the catalyst that brought about our unity. We both cared a lot about her and things that were occurring in her life at the time. With only 15 minutes to smoke and counsel her we teamed up and let her know how we felt about her issues. From that day in 1998 forward; with a minor split that I will cover later we have been the Best of Friends.

When we first started hanging out it would be the three of us, we practically did everything together. If one was invited to an event all three of us were there. I had been married five years when we met, he was going through a hurtful breakup. We would talk every day on break, sometimes getting in trouble for being away from our desk to long. His girlfriend had left the state with no warning and he was really going through it. I will not say I got him through this hard time, but I will say I helped him regain his confidence, helped him find himself, gave him a new picture of what he had to offer.

He and his girlfriend did get back together. When she returned, he had a new set of friends, one she accepted, and the other she just was not sure of (meaning Me). Us hanging out put a lot of stress on their relationship, and him saying I was his best friend really drove her crazy. At least two or three times a week we would meet in Building 22 (El Toritos Happy Hour), and this really pushed her buttons. Eventually I was officially introduced to her and we sat down at this long table, not next to each we sat at each end of the table and we talked. I felt like I was being questioned by the police. At the end of the discussion we parted with a small understanding, and I invited her to start hanging out with us.

Shortly after our conversation she became pregnant, and my friend was so happy, so I was happy for them. The girlfriend did begin to hang out with us a little more, going to Basketball games with us, she even came to my birthday party which made me open up a little more to us becoming friends, but that never really ever happen. My BFF and I continued to be friends we just did not hangout as much as we did before the pregnancy which I understood. We still had our time at work, he would sometime sneak to Building 22, but it always started an argument at his house which made me really angry....We Were Just Friends.

The night she went into labor my phone rung he asked me to come to the hospital, I did not want to, but I had to be there for my friend. I still remember her face when I walked into her room I smiled and walked over, put my purse down and began to rub her back, and wipe the sweat from her brow; I even stood by her side as the epidural was administered, he damn near fainted when he saw that needle. I decided to walk outside I needed to breathe and remove myself from a tension filled environment and he followed.

Just as I told my friend he needed to go back in, his brother came out and said she was asking for him. I wanted to leave, he wanted me to stay so of course I stayed. A couple of minutes later his daughter was born and I was able to congratulate them both and make my exit. Over the next few years we kept our friendship even though there were so many things that the girlfriend would get upset about, we just ignored it and saw each other whenever we could.

Still today as I think back, my friend is the kind of person that always does what he feels is supposed to be done. I feel he believes that there is a pattern and calendar attached to life, like it is time to have kids, whomever you had those kids with you are suppose to marry. When they were into church he started quoting everything the Pastor spoke about, and he felt that is what he was suppose to be doing. He and the girlfriend joined different churches trying hard to make what they had work, so they decided to get married which I really thought was a mistake, I did tell him I thought he was rushing but as I said he does what society says is the right thing to do, and at the time they had their second child, so of course down the aisle they had to go.

I did not attend the nuptials, I could not sit through that mistake, yes I had his back and promised him I would be there when it was all over. She showed me too many insecurities, and she showed how much she did not trust him, and I was sure she did not want to see my face on any of her wedding pictures. He called me numerous times on his wedding day, he even got lost driving to Las Vegas which he had been there several times but he went several hours out the way before getting back on track. Did I read into that? Of course I did but at the time I kept my mouth closed.

Me and my BFF have never been intimate, we have not even been tempted. My husband understood who I was, he knew that I was a tom-boy, and that all my friends were men, me and women just do not do well. I do not like their catty-ness, the way that they gossip, and how much they talk about one another, I was not cut from that cloth. Do men gossip? Of course they do, but the difference is men usually don't make up things, that is a woman's tool.

Being Best friends with a man gave me so much knowledge into how a man thinks, what a man is looking for in a woman, what are the deal breakers with men, and the biggest reward I got was I could be myself, I was really accepted; no judgement. I am told all the time that I think like a man, no I do not, I just know how a man thinks, another benefit to having a close male friend.

I can remember having the worst reputation, I did not care because ever rumor that was invented was just that, a rumor. All those rumors were started by an envious woman, and I never let any of that change me. I had a saying "If they are taking about me, I am doing something right". My family accepted my friend as family no questions asked, his family for many years accused us of being each others side-piece. They may still feel that way but they no longer say anything. I love them and they love me, at least most of them do.

Can a man and woman be friends? When people see me and my BFF at a concert it just trips them out, yes my husband knows where we are most of the time we both get dressed at my house or leave from my house. It has been 22 years since the day we met and we fight like siblings, and make up. We are honest with each other, and know how to agree to disagree. We have had a year apart over the years and that was because after his divorce he found an old spark who again was so very jealous of our friendship.

He would bring her to my house to hang out, even when we had functions he would bring her, but she always stayed to herself. Whenever he said he was coming to my house she would give him the blues, the whole time he was at my house she would call and they would argue we never really spent time together. After a few months he just could not fight for our friendship any longer so he cut me loose. Did it hurt? Yes it did but again I knew what I saw, and I knew that would not last long so I just sat it out and waited. I made a promise to always be here, and I will do that.

After coming back into my life he has promised that will never happen again, he says as he has always said "If they cannot accept you, they cannot be with me", and I love him for saying it but I am sure if he falls in love again he would walk away again, because as I said earlier he does what he feels is right, and does whatever is expected of him so I am sure for someone he loves he would put me on the shelf and I accept that is who he is, I will always be his friend, and I will wait until he is ready to come back.

No matter how old we are our friendship will never die, and I am so glad that my husband would never ask me to choose, because he remembers that's where we started, 30 years ago we were just friends. My husband knows I love them both, but I love them differently. I can tell them both anything, but my Bff is the easier of the two to talk to. If I have a question about men and the way they think the clearest and truest answer will come from my Bff. He does not take everything personal the way my husband some time does. My Bff tells me when I am wrong and he is probably the only person I can accept that from.

WE ARE JUST FRIENDS........

ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.......

ALWAYS WILL BE......

If someone ask you do you believe two people of opposite sex can be just friends, remember my story and tell them ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, DON'T KNOCK IT TIL YOU TRY IT.