"But No! I'm Different..."

by Danielle McLean 2 years ago in dating

What Every Woman Tries to Convince Herself Of

"But No! I'm Different..."

WHY do we always do this to ourselves?

Why do we always think that we will be the one to change him?

Why do we so desperately want to believe that we have some kind of super-woman power to make him see the light?

Let's be honest sweetie… if the girl before you tried to warn you that Bob over there is a twat, that he cheats, that he just is not a good person; it probably is true. Yes, in some circumstances the person who warned you may just be bitter or may be petty, but this is usually not the case.

Trying to change a man is a vicious cycle.

You start feel empowered!

You feel like you made a break through!

You see him head in the direction you pushed him!

You see him veer right, in the total opposite direction, doing exactly what his old habits promised he would.

You are back to square one.

You are angry. You are disappointed. You are heartbroken.

Although it is easy to blame Bob, you need to take some responsibility for this. Own up to the fact that you weren't the one who could change him... no one is. Own up to the fact that this is NOT your fault because people won't change for anyone but themselves.

But time and time again you try to fix him. Or maybe you couldn’t fix him! Or to the next… but you are attracted to the broken ones. The ones who seem like they almost NEED you (or that is what you have convinced yourself). You swore you wouldn’t go down this road again. Yet here you are. Like a broken record yourself. Back with another man whose mess you are trying to clean.

As women, we have a nurturing soul. We cannot help it! However, it is very easy for us to fall into this terrible pattern.

You deserve someone who wants to be a better person for you. Not someone you have to sit there and convince that “going on dates with other girls, but not having sex” is still a form of cheating.

If your love, beauty, and companionship isn’t enough for him then don’t waste your precious time.

Don’t give him a third, fourth, fifth….. Maybe even sixth chance. Do not think “this time will be different” because it won’t be. He will only be better at hiding it and you will only feel more insecure.

This romantic idea of taming a man into being your Prince Charming is awful. I know everyone blames the media but it is true! Movies always try to show us a womanizing character being tamed by his one true love. What they don’t show you? The crazy amount of women before this “one true love” who went through so much heartache and drama attempting to domesticate the chauvinistic pathetic excuse of a man.

Get this silly idea out of your head and let’s be realistic here.

Actions speak louder than words.

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Old habits die hard.

These sayings have been around forever! And for a very good reason. They have found to be true more times than people can count. So why do we suddenly forget them as soon as we meet our next project?

Why are we such suckers for a fairytale?

This might be classic a battle between the heart and the head but next time you think you are "the one" or that you are "different"; strongly take into consideration that maybe people don't change. Maybe they only develop and grow as a person. And just maybe it isn't your job to fix them.

Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Danielle McLean

Small town girl currently living in down town Toronto. Forever attempting to maintain a social life, some romance and a strong career; all at the same time. Writing based on personal experiences and a woman's intuition. 

See all posts by Danielle McLean