Breaking the (Autistic) Love Code: David and Sarah from Keep the Change (2018)

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed medical professional and this series is not about diagnosing the character(s) with Autism Spectrum Disorder. This series is a personal examination of the film/TV show's plot, the character's traits and personality and how they relate to me as an Autistic woman. I will also examine canonically Autistic Characters, so take my personal opinions as just that, a personal opinion. I would encourage my readers to seek out different perspectives on disability representation especially from BIPOC disabled creators who are often ignored in the disability discourse. I will also try to avoid giving away any spoilers for those who have not seen the film/TV show but if I have to give context for my arguments, this will be a likely occurrence so please be forewarned.

When I set out on a search for a movie for my next article, I saw the title of “Keep the Change” and I just thought of at least seeing what this film was about before I toss it aside. I also looked for the trailer and saw *Gasp* not one, not two, not three but literally almost the entire cast being legitimately Autistic?!? And that the whole production was under the consultation of the said Autistic cast?!? AND the main characters are portrayed as human beings with their own anxieties, dreams, hopes and worries?!?!? To think that this film was released during a time that I am not even 30 yet is a massive miracle. I finally got to watch the film and I cringed but for a different reason, I cringed because I saw myself in both Sarah and David and I related very strongly to them both.

The film was originally a short film, written and produced by Rachel Israel, that centered on David, played by Brandon Polansky, and his relationship struggles as an Autistic man. Sarah, played by Samantha Elisofon, is the woman that helps him learn to not only accept his neurodivergency but to also embrace the community that welcomed him. It stars the same actors from the short film along with others who get at least a bigger part in the story. But the romance between David and Sarah is not the only plot-point, the plot also revolves around David’s relationship to his parents and how he learns to stand up for himself as an Autistic man when it seems his parents don’t believe in him.

How were the character(s) treated throughout the film?

Shockingly, the characters were treated like human beings by the neurotypical characters but the neurotypicals are not the center of the story. The majority of the movie was focused on the Autistic characters and their inner lives. I was waiting for some inspiration porny moment but it never came, instead we get to see Autistic people living their lives! Without some sappy inspirational message! The majority of the cast is white with some BIPOC people including one black Autistic man, but hey at least they are Jewish so…baby steps?

When we first see David, he is being transported by his driver to the Jewish Community Center where, we learn throughout the film, that he is expected to attend for six weeks as a condition of avoiding a jail sentence. (How he got criminal charges was through making a pig joke to police officers.) He is very distraught about this because he strongly believes that he is “not like those people” or even believes that he has a condition of any kind. Nonetheless, he is just adamant of getting through the six weeks of attending and plans on never coming back. He meets Sarah, an Autistic woman who is also learning disabled and throughout the film they fall in love with each other. When David and Sarah first meet, she tries to encourage David to be more social and open

Sarah, David’s love interest, completely shatters the whole “manic pixie dream girl” trope through how the writing portrays her inner life. Sarah is sexually experienced and confident in her self expressions; she is also in a polyamourous/open relationship with one of the other attendees at the center. She is also not afraid of expressing her disagreement and setting her boundaries with other people. She is also very supportive of David’s dreams to become a filmmaker but is also not afraid of calling David out on his offensive jokes. She has her own “system” that she must follow, such as riding the bus instead of a cab. She enjoys singing, even though she isn’t very skilled at it, and enjoys performing in the theater troupe with the members of the center. She has a very sensory-based aversion to sand but seems to really enjoy the more intense rides at the theme park. I saw a bit of myself in Sarah because I am at the stage in my journey where I am becoming more accepting of my neurodivergency and becoming more confident in my sexuality. It was really surprising, at least for me, to see such a character on screen because there is hardly, if at all, any representation of Autistic women who are sexually experienced and are in polyamourous relationships. It’s also the first time I have seen Autistic expressions of sexuality NOT pathologized or treated as abnormal, but as diverse as neurotypical sexuality. One of the other characters is a openly gay man who constantly talks about his attraction to Mark Cone and he is also a great character because his queerness is also not treated as abnormal! I could go and on about all of it but let’s move along.

David, on the other hand, starts off very judgmental about his own neurodivergency and he viewed the other attendees as “weirdos.” When Sarah tries to explain her “system” to David, he makes a comment about Sarah being like Rainman and tries to make her “normal” like him. David has a very edgy sense of humor which oftens gets him in trouble with the people he tries to connect with in a variety of contexts. He wishes to be a film-maker but so far has only created one film and the film is a mishmash of home footage and scenes from other movies. This is extremely ironic considering his own relationship struggles and how he is treated as abnormal by the neurotypical women that he attempts to establish a connection with. He views himself as above other Autistic people because he can take a cab and is not as “visibly Autistic” like the others are. In other words, in the beginning he is an “aspie supremacist” but grows as a person. He is very sexually inexperienced and when he makes a move on Sarah, it is a very awkward kiss between the two of them. David also snorts and shouts when he is nervous or is in a stressful situation. He very quickly falls in love with Sarah and says to his parents that he hopes to marry her one day. Of course, like every couple they have their own struggles, insecurities, and fears. During the merry-go-round scene, we see David having a meltdown due to the overstimulation from the ride. He is taken to the side in order to regulate himself and is not shamed for it by Sarah or the other cast. I was moved by this scene because this is one of the few instances in any film where an Autistic meltdown is seen through the Autistic’s eyes.

The only time neurotypicals are ever present are David’s parents, and some of the organizers at the Centre. David’s parents try to discourage David from dating Sarah because of her disabilities. David ignores their bigoted, ableist nonsense and continues his relationship with Sarah; in the process, he unlearns a lot of his own internalized ableism and fully accepts himself. He also learns to accept members of his community and becomes more open throughout the film which diverts from the typical narrative of a romance because this movie does not portray Sarah, the female-presenting love interest, as the sole reason as to why David grows as a person. David also learns to be vulnerable when he is in a stressful situation because at the end of the film, when he tries to win Sarah back, he has trouble with the process of paying for public transit, he accepts help from Sarah with counting his money. This puts him in a vulnerable place where he is seen as “autistic” by everyone including Sarah but she still embraces him for who he is.

Was the Autistic community consulted throughout production?

The entire script centered on David's experiences but Israel worked with the cast in order for the script to not only be authentic but the majority of the scenes were just the characters being their full, real selves. The cast not only worked with Israel in writing the script but also worked together in terms of some of the more intense scenes so that the film felt more real. When researching for this film, I have found a few interviews for the films that talked about the process of writing and producing the film, Israel originally tried to cast a neurotypical woman to play Sarah but quickly realized that it would be a disservice to the Autistic community if the love interest was played by a neurotypical.

So, how did the actor(s) do?

Polansky and Elisofon were really amazing in this film, their characters felt very authentic, raw, and real at least to my experience with Autism. The greatest thing about it is that they are both Autistic! Which also gives it even more credibility in my eyes. Polansky’s character was based on his own personality as an Autistic man. Elisofon’s character is based on Polansky’s former girlfriend and she is wonderful as a spunky, confident woman who challenges society’s ableist views about disabled women.

What I did take issue with was at one point in the film when David confronts Sarah about her relationship with another man, and Sarah explains polyamory to David, he accuses her of being promiscuous and says that the men she is in a relationship with don’t respect her. I am going to correct the misconception around polyamory/open relationships since I know some people who are in open relationships: It actually takes a lot of respect to not only accept your partner’s total autonomy but to also communicate the dynamics and have a strong set of rules in the relationship. In open relationships, it is also important to respect the boundaries of your partner and to also communicate with your partner what your needs are so that everyone is on the same page. Polyamory is not for every person much like how monogamy is not for every person. There is nothing wrong with being sexually active as long as there is clear communication and consent from all involving parties, also people should take all precautions to protect themselves from diseases or other complications.

When David introduces Sarah to his family, they are extremely uneasy about her even though she is quite sociable, bubbly, and happy to meet everyone at the party. When David and Sarah go to hang out with his cousin, Sarah does a faux pas and sings off key and keeps doing it even when David tells her to stop. This causes David to feel very embarrassed in front of his cousin and associates, Sarah is upset by this and goes home by herself, forcing herself to go through wet sand. When David goes to find Sarah to apologize, his mother tells her that she begged to be taken hom. David tries everything to fix the relationship but Sarah asserts herself until the end with the aforementioned bus scene. This scene is also very important because it shows the consequences of internalized ableism and how it affects how you interact with members of your own community. Instead of Sarah masking her Autism, David learns to accept her and himself at the end of the film.

I feel that if I went on anymore about this film that it would go on for pages and pages because I am still stunned that a film such as this was written, produced AND released to the public in the 2010s! I highly encourage my readers to check out this film! Please support the cast and crew in any way that you can because more films need to be made that center on the individual Autistic experience especially in romantic relationships. If Hollywood refuses to listen to the Autistic community then Independent films are one of the few avenues where Autistic people can talk about their experiences in a neurotypical society.