Bitterness is unwillingness to accept the truth

Suffering is the unwillingness to accept the truth, such as eating yellow dried rice; the difficulty is the inability to achieve wishes and purposes, such as a boat in the water that cannot dock. The two together are: living on a boat that cannot be docked and eating yellow lilies, which are suffering. The general reference to suffering is the unbearable fact of life, where a person lives an unacceptable and painful life in a bad environment for a long time. Suffering is when a person is in some abnormal state, and we do not want to be in that state. Our rejection of the environment, our rejection of the state we are in, and our inability to reject it, is the essential suffering.

Truthfully speaking, coming out of my mother's womb, I was reluctant; being born meant taking responsibility for my own life, and in my mother's womb I was not an independent being; I did not have to face the world independently. But once I was born, I severed my essential connection with my mother, and ethically I was already an independent thing. I did not want to enter such a situation, what does such independence mean to me? What do I do with such life-like independence? What do I do with my life? It would be good if I were not an independent being, always as if I were in the Matrix, one with all the other, more vast existences, and why should I exist so absolutely alone?

In this sense, all people are forcibly separated into this world. Where we come from is certainly not some separate individual; our ultimate provenance can only be existence itself. Now people are always asking: Where do people come from? Can this be answered? Man must come from Being itself, and can only come from Being itself. But this coming should not be a separation; man is not separated from existence in the first place. Is the separation of the substratum from the mother a separation? When did this separation of the substratum from the mother begin? From when is it a separation from the essential relation? This point of separation cannot be found in existence and does not exist; I am not separated from the mother of existence.

However, from birth, I have to be independent, I have to face everything with an independent body, an independent position, an independent posture, an independent identity, independent psychology, an independent emotion, an independent behavior ...... and so on with absolute independent existence, and this is never something I would like to do. No one is willing to bear this independent situation, because this independent situation has no meaning, and this independent existence without meaning is suffering. We are no longer aware of what this bioethical independence brings to us, bringing an abnormal separateness of existence, bringing an ethical dilemma that cannot be established. Thousands of years of life inertia have concealed this illogical existence, and we have long taken the independent individuality of life as ipso facto reasonable. To rationalize their existence, we have built a civilized society, using social life to cover up the illogical existence of individuals without revealing a single crack. However, what cannot be concealed is the suffering of life.

The source of suffering does not lie in the external material world, but the internal law of existence of human beings. When a man is separated from the mother body of existence, the mode of suffering is opened. After this, life is a response to the coming of various suffering realities. Man has to deal with it alone, judge it alone and choose it alone, and there is no way to cancel this independence. However, no one can bear this solitude, and all human beings have to live with this solitude of life, and there is no power in the world to support the existence of this human solitude. This means that all the ethical logic of the world is distorted for the sake of the unreasonable solitary existence of each person, and all the reasoning of the world becomes unreasonable from now on. Why? Because to adapt to this individual independent existence, which is different from the totality of existence, we can only change our perception of everything and change our relationship with everything that exists. To make this individual independence a prerequisite, we go so far as to set the original Matrix as objective existence, and what a great gulf is drawn between us as human beings and objective existence.

Why do I repeatedly emphasize that independent life is the mode of suffering? It is because each one of us can never accept this independent existence. When the individual becomes the end of the operation of all things, when everything ends in the independent me, what an unbearable weight of life it is. As a human being, what am I doing bearing such a big world? What is the meaning? What has this world given to the independent me? How absurd and cruel is the design to let a whole world act on an isolated me? The reason why I think suffering is inherent is that the life of the self is unbearable and one is trapped in absolute suffering forever.

I know that this view of the existence of the self is extremely difficult to be understood, but I still have to say it because I really examined my existence and realized how great the injustice is and how pitiful I am as an individual being. The inner suffering of man has spent lifetime after lifetime expressing itself over and over again, but so far no one has seen it. We still do not understand why individual existence is an endless calamity and suffering, and that the tragedy of this suffering begins from the moment the mother is born and croaks.