Biological clocks and cocks.

When we look at men and women and the race to settle down, it can be argued that many men tend to settle down when they feel ready to, and many women think they need to settle down as soon as possible.

Notice how I said ‘feel’ for men and ‘think’ for women. This is because it could be argued that men have the power to decide when a relationship becomes exclusive and when it is heading in that "serious" direction. A man will need to feel ready, whereas a woman will think they need to conform to societal pressures to find a man that wants to settle down. However, this being said, men tend to feel this way often because they succumb to societal pressures. It has been said that men may only be willing to settle down once they have achieved a certain status in their lives. Men want to feel accomplished in life, and the way this is portrayed throughout society is for men to identify as the main breadwinners. It may be due to an innate and instinctive drive that has endured throughout evolution.

Let’s take cavemen, for example. They were portrayed as strong leaders, the gatherers, the hunters, and the protectors. In the present day, many men will feel they have a societal standard they should live up to. Women, on the other hand, have evolved over the centuries from relying on their spouses to provide for them and instead have taken pride in providing for themselves. Over the last century, women have continued to represent strong leadership, are career-driven, breadwinners, mothers, homemakers, and so much more. This gap between the sexes closed a long time ago, and although they are not completely equal in terms of pay, etc., we can see that this old, outdated way of living just doesn’t cut it anymore. So why do so many men still feel like they must have a high-paid job, lots of savings, great physics, and at least one good ‘attempt’ at the bachelor lifestyle before they can call one woman their own? When does a man say, "Alright, now's the time to get married, have children, and settle down".

The majority of the time, after speaking with some of the men in my life and attempting to gain insight into how the male mind works, I discovered one thing: maturity. "Seduction and abandonment by males is an old ruse, going back to the beginning of our species; one study found that young college males admitted to portraying themselves as kinder, more sincere, and more trustworthy than they really are." (Brizedinne, L. M.D., The Female Brain, 2006.)

It has been said many times that women have sex when they want to and men have sex when they can. Although this is a vague statement, if we apply it to the sexes in their teenage years and mid-twenties, it starts to make more sense. Young men want to have fun; they don’t want the pressure of having to commit or take care of a wife, or a family. Men don’t want to lose their freedom. If we link this back to maturity, it is clear that commitment does not necessarily mean a lack of freedom, and this is something that some men may not consider at a young age.

Excluding the childhood sweethearts and the ‘love at first sighters’, when it comes to women who don’t have this particular stroke of luck, then where exactly does this leave them? If most men do not show signs of wanting to commit until their late 20s or early 30s, then what happens to the women who do want to commit at an earlier age? Most women think that they need to find the "one" as quickly as possible, and the older they get, the more intense this feeling can become. Don’t get me wrong, many women enjoy their independence and don’t need a man to get by in life. However, when we take a look at basic human survival, we are essentially put on this earth to find a mate and reproduce. Although it is conflicting when women have a biological time clock and men can take their sweet time to settle down.

I now believe a lot in fate and like to think that we meet the right person at the right time for us. I think fate is determined by the decisions we choose to make in our lives. If most men continue to wait until they are "successful enough" before considering settling down, then they may just miss out on an amazing girl who is perfect for them. And women, if you wait for a man to settle down with you, then you may just miss out on that amazing career/hobby/lifestyle that is perfect for you! The best thing we can do is focus on ourselves, and the right person will find us at the right time.