Best Friends

I remember when I got my first cell phone. It was the fall of 2005. I also remember when it rang one day, while I was out for breakfast with my BFF Cortez. We were in Old Town, at a Mexican Restaurant. I was having enchiladas, and he was going to have a fit with me.

I answered the phone—at the table.

Big mistake. It was our mutual friend Daria. I talked to Daria. I tried to be brief. The look on Cortez’s face grew angrier by the minute. I kindly and softly explained to Daria that I was out with our mutual friend Cortez. I got off the phone. Cortez just sat there, looking the other way, sulking in silence.

A few minutes passed. He was still silent and in complete disdain. I didn’t know if I was being rude, or if he was just envious of my new cell phone. He got up, and went to the restroom. He came back. He sat down. He remained silent.

I didn’t know what to say, but I grew more and more convinced that he was under the impression that we were out on a date, or at least, that he was a bit more possessive of me than I had previously thought.

I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I still didn’t understand what the problem was. He was gay, I was a lesbian (at the time), the entire table was gay.

(We were the only two at the table), yet Cortez acted as if I were flirting with someone else, as if he had a stake in me.

He was much older than me. Daria was only a year older. Cortez never told me his actual age. Bill and I had made a big deal about that. But maybe because of his age, he felt left out.

Maybe he felt that technology was leaving him behind. Perhaps he felt that I had already left him behind, along with Daria.

I didn’t seem to care much. I was still only 28. I didn’t have many friends besides Cortez—that would explain his behavior. I guess he suddenly realized that he was the only one in our circle without a cell phone.

Daria had one. Her girlfriend Alex had one. Then I got one, too. Cortez was being left behind. That must be it. Now, it is ten years later, and we stopped being friends about eight years ago, before I attended massage school. Maybe that’s why he befriended Mark. He felt I was leaving him behind, so he reached out to his old friend Mark.

That explains the argument we had in March of 2006, after I had moved in to a bigger apartment. Mark and Cortez were both struggling financially. Of course, Cortez would never confirm that to me. He was always secretive about Mark. He would evade any questions I had of Mark. I was never suspicious of that, at least not back then.

It was obvious that Cortez was just growing more and more envious of me. The cell phone incident at the Mexican restaurant was just the beginning. It’s like that episode of Friendswhere Ross wants to go out to a “nice” place, but Phoebe, Joey, and Monica, never had enough money.

They felt just like Cortez did. Left out. The advances in technology and communication were just the beginning. As technology began to touch my social circle, it was leaving behind people with less money, or in Cortez’s case, people with more years under their belt.

Maybe since Mark was having a hard time making ends meet, he felt he understood where Cortez was coming from.

I still don’t understand why Cortez never said anything to me directly. Why did Cortez feel it was okay to talk to Mark about our problems instead of being direct with me? I was always direct with Cortez, honest and direct.

But apparently, Cortez’s communication style would not allow for that.

He wanted to be passive/aggressive, instead of aggressive/aggressive, like I was. Why? Was it because he was older? Was it because he was taught to be indirect, or avoid conflict at all costs?

By the time I moved into my bigger apartment, and told Cortez that I would be starting the massage program, Cortez grew quiet and analytical. I guess he always considered me a loser. But when he could no longer deny that he was wrong, he couldn’t take it. He couldn’t handle his social circle being shaken up by a lipstick lesbian.

He wanted to be the only accomplished artist in our group.

He couldn’t stand me changing the dynamics of our social circle. So one night, he picked a fight with me over the phone. A land line. Remember those? I had had enough of his childish behavior. We stopped being friends. That was the end of that.

I had no idea that he saw me in such a bad light. Had I known, I never would have befriended him. Had I known that one day he would be so envious of me, I know I would have stayed away from such a frenemy. Who knew he would turn out to be such a hater!!

I guess he saw me as more of a sister than a friend. He must have seen me as the little sister he wish he could have fought with. But he had his own sister, an older sister, and an older brother. He was the youngest in his family.

That explains it: He wanted me to constantly baby him. He wanted to be the center of attention. Yes, and since I had gotten a new cell phone, he knew he couldn’t be the center of attention anymore. I had become the center of our social circle. That’s why he resented me so!!