Being Proud & Disabled in an Often Ableist World

Disability Pride Month occurs every July in the United States. It is a reminder of the passing of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) in July 1990, but also as a reminder disabled people exist and not just for able folks to pity or treat with disdain.

I’m proud to be disabled. Not in inspiration porn sort of way, I’m not here to inspire able bodied and minded people to feel good about themselves. I’m here to exist in my own space whilst also creating awareness and acceptance about the vast community I belong to, from my own little accessible corner.

It’s little things I notice every day. The way able bodied people stare at me. I’ve honestly debated wearing a shirt that says “Staring will cost you, pay me! Venmo me @ josey-pickering” because if people would actually own up to it, I could get fifty bucks or so if everyone who stared at me gave me a dollar! Day after day, it would add up. But you get the point, people stare at people using mobility aids. If you aren’t elderly and use a cane? Staring. Using a walker and again, not as stereotyped elderly person? Staring. In a wheelchair? Staring. Sometimes by people who are only momentarily in a wheelchair too! The latter happens the most at amusement parks, you know who the other actually disabled folks are because they aren’t staring at you usually. You can tell you is renting a wheelchair to just “cut in line” too. They’re usually staring and calling disabled access the fast pass area. Yeah, so I see it a lot, pretty much every time I visit an amusement park. I have passes for Disneyland and Universal Studios, and you can imagine it happens a lot.

It isn’t just people who make things awkward at my favorite places, it’s often structural inaccessibility. Whilst Disneyland is incredibly accessible in many ways, there’s stores throughout the property that aren’t fully accessible. To add in more shelves for more people to buy stuff, they make the aisles narrower and harder for someone in a wheelchair or mobility scooter to get around. My wheelchair just won’t fit, so I know an ECV wouldn’t either. It’s even worse at Universal Studios, some of their shops aisles are just impossible for me to navigate. I don’t have enough space to put my arms down and wheel myself or have someone push me through and it can get frustrating.

It’s hard to be loud and proud when there’s spaces you can’t go to. As simple as a grocery store aisle to a restaurant. It’s hard to be loud and proud when you are stepped on, stepped over, cut off, rushed by, groaned at and just treated like you aren’t human. Even when we’re wheeling back to the car from shopping, we’re nearly hit by cars on a regular basis as she pushes my chair. People look out more for people walking than a person pushing someone in a chair, and I’m not exaggerating. Just this week someone nearly blew through us to then stop for a family walking behind us. It wasn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last time. Am I not seen as a valuable human because others do not appreciate disabled folks? I’m tired of feeling like a waste of space because I don’t fit into the tiny boxes I’m expected to fit in. I don’t fit the after school special stereotypes they grew up with, and so I must be stared at, prodded and interrogated. Strangers actually entitled to my medical history, always ready to give advice I don’t ask for. I just want to have fun in the same spaces that others enjoy, and not feel like I’m part of the entertainment. I want to exist alongside other humans and not feel like I’m asking too much for a little extra time or patience to be able to join in.

This Disability Pride Month, I'm asking for people to do those little things that make the world more accessible. Don't leave your shopping cart in a disabled parking spot and don't take the accessibility shopping carts & ECV's at stores unless you actually need them. Don't use the accessible bathrooms stalls unless you need to actually use it, and not just because it's bigger. If you can take the escalator (phobias aside), leave the elevator for people who can't use the escalator at all. I ask people to teach their kids not to stare, and that disabled people exist. I wish that people would pay more attention to their surroundings and just be aware other people exist, not just disabled people. I've been decked in the face by random objects and fists because people are swinging their arms or an item in their hand and hit me. So it would be nice if people just remembered there are other people around, and sometimes they might me in a mobility device. Remember, we're just trying to keep up with the rest of the world, however we can.