Avenues: Ch. 7

All eyes turned towards me when Marissa opened her door and let me into her apartment. While the music lowered, she took my jacket, and I avoided eye contact with everyone in the room except for Susie, who shared her sympathies from the kitchen as she poured herself a drink. From the looks of it, she’d had a few while I had that talk with my father. She can’t say I didn’t warn her. I distinctly remember telling her how awful they had treated my mother when they had found out she was pregnant with me. Being disowned for being a teen mother was the stigma my mother carried within my family until the day she died.

The thought of them being shocked when I wouldn’t let any of them enter her funeral service was laughable. Hence why they hated me. I had deprived them of saying their goodbyes and they resented me for it. I couldn’t be bothered to care at the time and I didn’t much care for it now either.

I looked up at my cousin, hoping she realized this party from hell pretty much put us even with my stern expression, and gave her a hug.

“Is Luey here yet?” I asked into her ear. I wasn’t sure I could make it an hour into this party without snapping. And when that happened, Luey would know what to do.

“He’s on his way. Had a street errand to run,” Marrisa answered, concern filling her gaze. I held onto her hand and squeezed for reassurance.

“I’m sure he’s okay. It’s Luey. You know him,” I replied, as if reminding her of his untouchable stroke of luck meant he wouldn’t run out of it at some point. He would eventually. I knew that. I just hoped Marissa was prepared for it when it did.

“Is your girl usually this thirsty?” she asked, changing the subject as we both turned to look towards Susie, who seemed to be drinking straight from the bottle this time, as some of my other family members cheered her on. I left Marissa and went straight towards the kitchen to interrupt whatever drinking game these idiots were trying to pressure Susie into participating in.

“Fuck off, Benji and Javi. Go find someone else to bother,” I scolded Marissa’s younger brothers and they flipped me off after clapping for Susie when she managed to finish the bottle in its entirety. I arched an eyebrow, clearly confused as to why she bothered to entertain them to begin with.

“Should I bother asking?” I began, and she smiled as she licked her lips with her tongue and shrugged.

“I’m just trying to get along with everyone.”

“That’s not why we came here,” I reminded her, as I grabbed a plastic plate and began to pile on a plate of food for her. She needed to eat something to soak up all that alcohol she just put into her system.

“Christmas was Willie’s favorite holiday,” she prompted out of the blue, the sadness in her eyes growing as she reached for another bottle and I decided to take it from her. While I didn’t want to seem like the controlling boyfriend, I knew all too well about trying to drown my sorrows in bottles of alcohol and pills, and I didn’t want to see Susie go down that road too.

“The hangover hurts worse than the memories. Trust me, I’ve been there,” I offered, and it brought out a laugh from her, and a kiss that tasted like nothing but dejection and Vodka.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Susie was on her third throw up trip to the bathroom by the time the party was winding down. I held onto her hair while she puked the contents of her stomach into my cousins toilet. I did my best to soothe her by rubbing her back, and handing her towels and mouthwash when she needed them. Her body curled into a ball on the bathroom floor rug as she stared up at me and I reached to push back the stray hair plaguing her flushed cheek.

“I went to see a hypnotherapist,” she mentioned randomly, while I placed a towel over her shivering body.

“They help you recover memories right? Don’t you have the opposite problem?” I teased and she smirked.

“There are some things our subconscious won’t allow us to remember. It’s a mental survival mode, a failsafe for the mind you can say.”

“What would cause you to activate something like that?”

“Trauma. Different types of trauma. Trauma so detrimental to your psyche, your mind has no choice but to protect itself from self-destruction the only way it knows how; by plucking out the moments in your life that trigger the trauma,” she explained, my attention on the guilt in her gaze that had glossed over her pain.

“You remembered something.”

“The picture Richie sent you, I remember what happened that night…” she began, pausing momentarily before she sat up with her back against the bottom of the bathroom sink.

“I remember how many cups of Hennessy it took to get me to that point and the argument about you my brother and I had that tipped me over the edge. I remember kissing more than one guy and knowing none of them came close to you. I remember Luey being one of them. I remember him doing nothing to stop it by the time Marissa caught us. I remember Richie pulling him away from me and taking me to the bathroom before I threw up on the living room carpet. I remember….I remember telling him to take that picture so I’d have some proof that he had nothing to do with my behavior that night. Given his reputation, I’d say it was fair,” she finally finished and I simply stared at her, unable to find the right words to convey whatever I was feeling. So I chose the immature path and got up to leave.

“You spent years leading me on while you went home every night to another girl, Julian Perez. So don’t you dare walk away from me like a self-righteous asshole,” Susie stated angrily and I turned to face her.

“You don’t think I know how much of a dick I was to you and Diana? I warned you. I warned her. And I warned everyone else who even dared to get close to me. So don’t pin this bullshit on me when both of you knew exactly who it was you fell in love with.”

Susanna stood from the floor before me and I was waiting for a big slap across the face, but she decided against it and sighed in defeat instead.

“I never said I was in love with you,” she countered, doing her best to lie through her teeth in her defense. I may be ignorant to alot of shit in this world, but love wasn’t one of them. I’ve been in it and I’ve been out of it. I know what it felt like to drown in it and how agonizing it felt when someone ripped it out of your chest.

“I’m not in love with you either,” I fired back and reached for the doorknob, “...I can lie my ass off too, Susie,” I finished after I turned away from her.

I left her alone after closing the door behind me, while she finished cleaning up and decided it was time to go home. I spoke to no one but Marissa and Susie at this party and wanted to keep it that way until we stepped outside of this building.

Luey still hadn’t shown up. Which probably meant whatever street errand he was doing had gone sideways. I was worried of course. I sent him a text asking him what the hold up was. But I still haven’t gotten a response.

“Nice girl you got in there. Don’t fuck her up like you did with the last one,” the rude comment came from none other than my uncle Ivan, my mother’s older half-brother. The man was in his late fifties, with a salt and pepper buzz cut he had kept sharp since he got out of the army ten years ago. He was blunt, with a touch of self-righteousness that made me want to punch him half the time. My mother had mentioned him a few times. Even told me a few stories about how they’d sneak off to play handball at the courtyard together, even when their bickering mother’s vehemently told them not to as part of the feud they had over their shared baby daddy.

All I cared about was why he decided it was okay to abandon his pregnant baby sister and side with the rest of these hateful people.

“I don’t remember asking your opinion,” I countered defensively, feeling the rage beginning to swim through my veins again. My uncle smirked and stared at me with his piercing dark brown eyes, as he sat down on the armrest of the sofa. He wasn't the type of guy people provoked. But neither was I.

“You have your mother’s slick mouth, you know that?” he began, my hands balling into fists as my anger slowly simmered into something I was afraid I couldn’t control.

“I have her right hook too. You wanna see?” I offered and took a cheap shot, right into his nose, forcing a reaction out of him. And I definitely got one. Uncle Ivan wiped the blood from underneath his nose and stood up, ready to wrap his hand around my throat.

“All that anger? You get it from that father of yours,” he spat in disgust as his wife, Ashley, stepped in between us and pushed him off me.

“Don’t talk about her again and we won’t have a problem,” I responded and he looked at me sharply, forcing the rest of our family members within range to pay attention and surround him as if he were a missile that needed to be contained.

“You have no idea what your mother was really like. You only know the version she chose to show you,” Uncle Ivan replied sharply, nostrils flaring and I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t scared of him. I didn’t care if he had a good six inches above my own height or that he’d gone through some serious shit in the army that he probably still hasn't recovered from. Living in New York comes with PTSD alone.

This place wasn’t for the weak.

“Do you guys hear that?” Susie re-entered the room, forcing the room to grow quiet as we listened and deciphered the round of gun shots close by. Uncle Ivan and I shared a look and flew towards the windows that would allow us to see what was going on below us.

The scene was beyond chaotic. There were people screaming, bodies scattered about on the sidewalks. Some had been shot and were now bleeding out. Some people were doing the shooting in black masks. I spotted Luey’s car across the street and immediately looked for Marissa behind me. I cursed when I realized she wasn't in the room with us.

“Marissa?!” Fuck. Did she also spot Luey’s car? Had she gone after him?

“Where are you going?” Susie asked worriedly as she held her phone against her ear. Cops wouldn’t make it on time, which is who I assumed she was calling. By the time they showed up, Luey or Marissa could be dead.

“I have to find them. Stay here, please,” I begged, and kissed her forehead. She shook her head, as she held onto me tighter.

“I can’t lose you too,” Susie claimed, wrapping her arms around me so tight, I could feel the desperation radiating off her shaking body.

“I’ll go. Everyone stays here,” Uncle Ivan offered and we all looked towards him.

“We’ll both go and--”

“Everyone, stay put. That’s an order,” he demanded loudly and kissed his wife before flying out the door, not leaving much room for discussion. I gave Susie one final look, a silent plea of forgiveness before I bolted out of the door myself to help find my best friend and my cousin. She nodded in defeat, tears streaming down her cheeks as my family surrounded her in comfort.

I was sorry. I really was. I knew it would be the end of us. I knew my actions would scare her beyond repair, considering she’d just lost her brother to a similar situation not too long ago. But I couldn’t focus on that right now. Uncle Ivan had no idea how dirty the streets played. This wasn’t his kind of battlefield. Not the kind where he could gain the upper hand with just his training and a rifle in his hand.

The second I stepped out of the building, I looked towards the opposite direction in which people were running from. I could hear the sirens from here, but they were still blocks away. I looked around for my cousin first, taking cover behind cars while I crossed the street as the shooting grew hotter the closer I got to it. Luey’s car was just up ahead and once I reached it, I noticed the side door was now ajar and Marissa was taking cover along with Luey, who’s shoulder was bleeding out as he kept shooting at the enemy whenever he had the chance.

“Marissa!” I shouted for her, and she glanced up at me, something other than relief clouding her gaze when I finally reached her. She was shaking with fear as I checked her for any injuries before trying to pull her out of there. She was reluctant to move and I was almost tempted to pull her over my shoulder and carry her out this chaos myself.

“They’re here for you, Julian. If they see you both, they’ll get a two-for-one deal,” Luey informed me and my father’s words suddenly replayed in my mind. The target on my back he had warned me about was rearing its ugly head sooner than I thought. But I couldn’t just cower behind my new life and the new man I had become just to preserve it.

Maybe it was time for some of the old me to return and finish this once and for all.

“I have to get her out of here. She’s not going down because of me too,” I answered and began to reach for Marissa’s hand again, but her attention was captured by something behind me. Her eyes widened, the fear in them along with it. I turned to face the barrel of a gun in my face. I didn’t flinch. I wasn’t scared. This wasn’t the first time death had knocked at my door and waited for my surrender.

“Boss is going to be happy when I tell him I put you in a body bag,” the scrawny street lackey claimed with joy as the gun in his hand began to shake. I almost scoffed at the lack of confidence he had while aiming it at me. I could easily take it from him, but he sounded like a kid. He had time to change his ways, and I also wanted him to give Oliver a message for me.

“Tell your boss,” I began and quickly reached for his wrist and twisted it hard enough for him to drop the gun onto the sidewalk and curse in pure agony, “...he’s going to regret coming after me and my family.”

The kid cursed louder when I decided breaking his wrist completely would suffice and he decided to run the other way in response.

“How about I tell him I got a three-for-one deal?” someone else chimed in from behind me, aiming a gun at Luey and Marissa this time as I turned around and faced them.

“They have nothing to do with this. It’s me you want,” I tried to get him to focus on me, but the guy was trigger happy. He was arrogant enough not to wear a mask. I could see the sweat dripping down his forehead and his chest heaving up and down from all the rounds he must’ve shot within the last ten minutes. I knew there was nothing I could say that would make him aim that gun at me instead of them. So I decided to tackle him just as he pulled that trigger twice.

I held my forearm up to his throat hard, as I forced my entire body weight onto him, so he had nowhere to go. Once he was weak enough for me to get the upper hand, I grabbed his gun and used it to hit him on the head firmly enough to knock him out. I quickly turned my attention towards Marissa and Luey, and realized both bullets had gone straight to her chest and abdomen. Her body was in shock. She was quickly bleeding out.

“Let’s get her to the hospital. Paramedics are still fifteen minutes away,” Uncle Ivan informed us when he finally appeared and he began to apply pressure to her wounds. His clothes were splotched with blood, which I assumed meant he’d been trying to keep people from dying while trying to find his niece. He helped me and Luey get Marissa into the backseat of his car and I watched the three of them drive off before the cops began to block off the street.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Marissa is going to be fine. She’s going to outlive all of us. You know that,” Diana tried her best to comfort me as I caught her up on what had transpired during Christmas. It was the day after New Year's and the hospital would be discharging her after a few days of observation after her surgeries. The bullets had gone straight through her, which were a blessing. But she had lost more than just blood that night.

Marissa had been pregnant and had been waiting on Luey to make the official announcement to everyone during that Christmas party. Including him. Luey had been speechless as the doctors explained everything. And he still hasn’t spoken a word since he found out. He blames himself for what happened. Luey has seen more carnage and violence in the streets than anyone I knew. But the thought of losing his unborn child and almost losing Marissa in the process was something I was sure would forever haunt him.

“Luey hasn’t left his apartment,” I continued, as I rubbed my tired face with my hands and sighed.

“He lost two people that night, Julian. Give the man some space,” she replied as she reached under the table to grab my knee and my attention.

“It’s all my fault.”

“Don’t start that shit again. Hey,” she ordered, forcing me to look at her, “...we are all responsible for our actions. You didn’t make us fucked up. We already were.”

“You were fine before I came along and--”

“And what? Corrupted me? Like I’m an innocent victim in all this? Don’t forget who got you into strip poker,” she joked and I had to laugh. I laughed more than I have in days. God, I missed having her around. I missed how things used to be. How easier things had been when were kids and nothing mattered outside of our ignorance. Nothing was at my fingertips now. Maybe life was trying to teach me things never were to begin with.

“Have you talked to Susie?” Diana asked and just hearing Susie’s name was a punch in the gut. She hasn’t been returning my phone calls or texts. Or even let me into her building. I was almost convinced she left the city when one of the nurses told me they’d seen her visiting Marissa at the hospital just yesterday. She’d been gone by the time I got there of course. I didn’t blame her. Her cold shoulder was a clear sign we were officially done and there wasn’t much I could do to fix it.

I had a war to finish. I couldn’t go through with it knowing Susie would be there in the line of fire with me.

“No. And I would appreciate it if you didn’t advocate for her anymore. It’s just fucking weird.”

“Why? Because two females can’t be friends after fucking the same guy?”

“Fucking, yes. But, hey, what do I know, right?” I insisted sarcastically and she smirked as she crossed her arms over her navy blue jumpsuit and leaned back into her chair.

“So you’re aware she’s in love with you. Good. I was beginning to think you’d lost some brain cells in my absence,” Diana chuckled and I sighed in frustration. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to even begin to comprehend the ramifications of what any of this meant. All I knew was that I was in love with Susanna Lopez and probably have been for a long time and I fucking hated that I knew I was going to lose her before I eventually did. From the looks of it, Diana knew it too. Which explains why she seemed at peace with it, and why she ended things not too long after she found out Susie and I were working together to solve Willie’s murder.

“I have other shit to worry about. Like whatever it is you have on Oliver that made him want to lock you up for life and go after Willie next,” I retorted, changing the subject. Diana’s expression quickly changed from amused to dark and I didn’t blame her. I knew bringing up Oliver would bring unpleasant memories. But if I was going to bring him down for her, for all of us, I needed more dirt on him and Diana seemed to know just the right amount of it.

“Okay,” she began, looking around for any suspecting onlookers looking in our direction in the visiting area, “...you remember Tara from our junior class, the one who died from jumping off the George Washington Bridge?” she whispered, while I nodded in response. She was talking about Tara Gomez. She’d been all over the news that summer. No one knew why she jumped off that bridge. Not even Diana who’d been close to her up until the night she allegedly jumped. Cops ruled it as a suicide, but she wasn’t suicidal. Tara was just a party girl who had deep pockets and connections to people who could get her any kind of drugs she wanted.

“Well, guess who she got into business with a week before she mysteriously ended up at the bottom of the Hudson River? And guess who has documented proof of it?” Diana proclaimed with a proud grin and I almost cursed out loud when I stared at her in shock.

“Why didn’t you give it to the police back then?”

“Because I had no idea Tara stashed it in my closet until after I found it in one of my boxes while we were unpacking shit in our Brooklyn apartment.”

“How did Oliver know you had it or that it even existed?”

“They were more than just business partners, Julian. Oliver was crazy about her. But it didn’t stop him from throwing her off a fucking bridge to save his own ass when he found out she was stealing product from him. He must’ve followed her, saw her leave with the diary and come back without it,” Diana explained and I shook my head in disbelief. I knew Oliver was a sick person but I had no idea just how mentally unstable he was until now.

“I’m not sure showing the cops would do any good now. Bringing all this stuff up for Tara’s family after all this time would do more harm than good,” I added, and Diana nodded in agreement, biting her bottom lip as her gaze fell.

“I never told you because I’m pretty sure it’s what got Willie killed. Oliver already tried to come for you once, what makes you think he won't succeed the second time around now that he's officially out?” Her question was valid. Oliver had more power inside jail than he ever did outside. I can't imagine what he's going to cook up next now that he was free. I couldn’t ask Luey and his crew to fight alongside me. The man wasn’t in any condition to go in guns blazing to begin with.

I only had one avenue to take, and it was going to be hardest one I've ever had to walk through.

I had to go visit the man who brought me into this journey to begin with. The man who fed me and my mother so many lies, it emotionally crippled us into making life-changing mistakes. The same man who had warned me I’d beg him for help when life on the streets grew too heavy for me one day.

I had to go see my father and convince him to help me get rid of Oliver Polscotti and his empire once and for all.