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Attachment

Looking for the love outside instead of within

By Fallon HookailoPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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"The beauty in nature is a reflection of the beauty within."

There is no guarantee or permanency of anything in this life, although we pretend there is. One major problem we have as a human is the emotion. Emotions are beautiful and make things alive, although we can attach to the things that make us feel a certain way. Especially events or things that create a euphoric happiness.

Often when we are young it only takes candy to make us happy and it is the best thing in the world. Does candy still make you feel that way? You see these things that create emotions change. A boyfriend/girlfriend bring a smile to our face. Once the fight between you comes all the sudden that smile turns to anger. Huh another change within an external circumstance.

What about the sun. What a beautiful thing. You get to Hawaii and spend the day in the ocean and on the beach. No sunblock you get burned. The next day that sun isn’t so nice. Once you heal the sun is glorious again. All in all, if we think of more things in life it is a never-ending cycle of change. If we can see it this way and enjoy it for what it is in any given moment, we can live a life of more enjoyment.

Now, let’s get into the reasoning why we attach to things or people. This is because we attach to an identity we have with the attachment. When your career brings you prestige then you attach to it as a worthiness of love. Do you think you are unworthy of love if you didn’t have that job? The answer is no although you may think otherwise.

Do you help people or are you a mom/dad? Here is another attachment to being needed. This makes us feel worthy. If we are doing these things from the need to feel worthy it will wear us out. We will be tired, because we are looking for something in our devotion to another human being with them pursuing their own demands.

That Ferrari makes us feel on top of the world. It makes us feel better than other humans. Is this really so? Does this other human go to the bathroom, have thoughts of self-doubt, want to be needed, are they looking for love, are they walking this earth. In reality are they really that different or is it only a materal thing seperating you?

I know I used to walk around with pride when I was married and had a ring on my finger. I felt wanted and needed by someone. It made me feel worthy and that another would devote a lifetime to me. When this all came to pass, and I ended up divorced it all faded. I was ashamed of a failed relationship. I felt unworthy of love, because a relationship didn’t work out with one person. How absurd is that? I allowed a relationship to determine who I was and how I felt. If I were to see the world as it is, I would not be finding worth out of another human being. Therefore, when I lost that connection, I may be a little sad, although I would not be devasted because I know this person didn't define me and I maintained my independence.

Attachments are like an addiction. How does it make you feel? We do it because it makes us feel good. Then what happens when that drug wears off. Typically, we feel bad and we are waiting for that next moment to do the drug again. Please understand these attachments are a temporary fix to your own underlying unhappiness. The key is learning self love and independence. At this time you can love another truly.

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About the Creator

Fallon Hookailo

I am a physical therapist who has dedicated her life to higher conciousness. This includes mind, body and spirit being one. With my patients, friends and family I share my knowledge with hopes of overflowing to the whole of humanity.

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