Are You in a Toxic Relationship?
In case you need help identifying the signs.
Being in love can allow us to ignore the bad things, such as red flags and signs of an unhealthy relationship. It gets even harder to identify these if you don't have a lot of relationship experience, as it can be hard to know how things should be. Here is a list to check off, of things that aren't normal, and shouldn't be accepted.
Are they controlling you?
Are you scared to tell them things because you fear their reaction?
Do you worry about their opinion of you?
Do they not allow you to have male/female friends?
Do they lie to you?
Do they stop you from seeing your friends when you want to?
Do they expect you to drop everything for them, when you know they wouldn't do the same for you?
Do they make you feel bad about yourself?
Do you worry about which version of them you'll meet today?
Do they hide their phone or messages from you?
Are they mean to you?
Do they demand that you do things for them?
Do they make things out to be worse than they are?
Do they tell you what you can or can't do?
Are you tiptoeing around them to avoid making them angry?
Do they pick on you?
Do they expect you to put them before yourself?
Do they talk to you in a bad way?
Do they freeze you out?
Do they call you names?
Do they refuse to apologise/admit they've hurt you?
Are they acting sketchy?
Do they try to embarrass you in front of others?
Do they refuse to trust you?
Do they expect you to compromise for them, every single time?
Do they threaten you?
Are they inconsistent?
Are you constantly worried they'll break up with you?
Do they judge you?
Are they negative towards you?
Do they repeatedly break their promises to you?
Are they slut-shaming you?
Do they talk to other people?
Do they go through your phone/your messages?
Do they promise to change, but they never do?
Do they compare you to other people or to their own exes?
Do they push you down?
Do they frequently break up with you then take you back?
Do they speak badly of your friends?
Do they manipulate you?
Do they point out your mistakes, and repeatedly bring them up?
Do they verbally or physically abuse you?
Do you love them? Do you really? Or do you love the idea of a happy relationship? Do you deep down know that this isn't normal or how it should be, but pretending it's okay is easier than leaving? Or even worse, are you scared to break up with them?
Think about every aspect of your relationship. Is it what you've imagined a relationship should be like, or how you would like to be treated by your significant other? If not, it's probably not healthy, and it's not likely to get better. You deserve to be with someone who loves and appreciates you, encourages you to be yourself and to live your life, and who gives you trust. These things should never be compromised. If they are, you should reconsider your relationship with them.
Usually, if you have a feeling something's wrong, you have that feeling for a reason. Please don't stay with someone who doesn't treat you right. They don't deserve your time or your love. If they make you feel like you're not good enough, like you're not special to them or even that you're easily replaceable... you need to spend your valuable time with someone else, or, be single, as no partner is much better than a toxic one. You deserve happiness, and I hope you're strong enough to make the right choice.