Are Women Who Accept the Relationship With a Married Man Bad By Nature?

Women who accept a relationship with a married man are unanimously blamed and labeled as destructive of marriage, immoral, or even bad by nature. Every time, the woman who intervenes in a marriage is the one who will bear all the blame on her shoulders. But what does reality look like?

For a start, a short story… A middle-aged woman, no matter her name, but let's say, Ana, one day she meets in her favorite place where she used to drink a glass after work, an extremely attractive man who, though he can't believe it, flirts with her!

And since he hasn't had a relationship in a long time, he decides to answer… why not, after all? I know, he turns out to be exactly what she's looking for: an adult man, mature, intelligent, funny, and incredibly attractive! So I decide to see you again!

And after several meetings, he reveals to her that he has a secret, something she may not accept: she tells him that he is married, but that his marriage is practically no longer real and consumed for years! He tells her that the only reason he hasn't divorced yet is that they have a child, that it would involve too much suffering for that child.

Ana promises that things will change now, that he will talk to his wife, and that he will explain to the child that he has to leave… He promises that he will soon have him just for her… just have a little patience, because these things take time

And Ana, already in love, what can she answer? Although she never imagined that she would accept the relationship with a married man, she takes his word for it and tells herself that she is not involved in a marriage, since - as he said - that marriage is already over. … She believes him and overcomes any doubts and promises to wait for him until he is ready to leave his house.

And now that Monday is over, Ana is still waiting, she is tired of being the one who has to hide, to see her only secretly. He always asks him if he talked to his wife, and he says it's just a matter of time. And so, the relationship with a married man lasts and still lasts…

Until, one day, Ana sees him with his wife, kissing tenderly! And then she sees how blind she was: she allowed herself to be simply manipulated by a man who never intended to leave her family for her… She was his dirty little secret, his beautiful sex toy that he enjoys in secret

And Ana is the one who will break, after many torments, the relationship with a married man. And Ana is also the one who has nowhere to go to be comforted: if she told someone everything, even a friend, she is aware that she would also be guilty, worse, the fool would come out of all this story…

Now, you judge: is Ana guilty? Aside from her naivety and credulity, what is she guilty of, what is the fact that she is immoral or evil? All Ana did was fall madly in love and trust the man she loved… who took full advantage of the whole situation, and now she can return peacefully to his family life.

Many times, the woman who accepts the relationship with a married man does it in ignorance: the first time, she doesn't even know that he has a family, then when she finds out, she is already so in love that if she is served on the tray a naive lie like, "My marriage is over for a long time anyway," she desperately wants to believe that lie. He finds various justifications for that man, and even begins to turn him into an altruistic being: "how good he is, he stays with that woman who makes him unhappy only for the child"…

And so he finds himself trapped in a trap from which he does not he will only come out the day his eyes are opened and he will realize that he has not the slightest intention of leaving his wife… And only then does he begin to put things together and realize that he had a relationship with a married man, who is probably not on his first extramarital affair. It was just a game, a fantasy for the man.

Worse, he realizes that the man has been divided all this time between two women, both of whom have been fooled, that he has had sex with his wife all this time… And this thought is unbearable… She also realizes that, of the two fooled women, she is also the one who must be found guilty, because she knew part of the truth because she was a gullible fool.

Especially women who have passed their early youth, who are still single and have difficulty finding a suitable partner to spend their lives with, are extremely vulnerable and naive in their desire to believe the man they fall in love with.

The relationship with a married man is a necessary evil for them, something she has to go through, swallowing her protests and waiting for that man to come to them all the time. But this will not usually happen… And the man, the middle-aged man married and with a child, wants only a little adrenaline in his life, he wants to live on the edge for a while and he uses that gullible woman…

He just told her the truth, it was her choice… But in order not to demonize the man, it must be acknowledged that he may fall in love as sincerely as possible with another woman, that his adventure starts from sincere feelings. But he will still not think of leaving his wife with whom he has lived for so many years, with whom he has a comfortable family life, who has given him a child…

So the relationship with a married man is by no means the conscious choice of an evil woman, a destroyer of marriages. As in any story, there are three radically different points of view, each depending on the actors in this story.

There is the reality of the wife, who, if she finds out her husband's affair, will probably forgive him and blame the other woman for stealing men; there is the reality of the husband, who justifies himself by telling himself that he was honest with his mistress, who chose alone to have an affair with him; there is, finally, the reality of the mistress, who realizes that she was both naive and stupid, and now she is considered the only culprit… Unfortunately, the reality of the wife is the one that impresses the world, realize that the other one was just as ignorant…