An Open Letter to Peaking in High School

Home from Scranton this week for spring break (I know spring hasn’t officially started yet because there’s still no Rita’s but ANYWAY) this seemed to be the week high schools put on their musicals so I went to them, cuz why not? It’s a musical and it’s cheap.

Unionville put on the Hunchback of Notre Dame. It was pretty good, the seats weren’t filled like when we SOLD OUT Phantom of the Opera. But it shocked me that it’s been officially 10 years since we debuted our brand new, controversially large theatre with Phantom of the Opera. I’ve many good year since then (even the pandemic), I’ve met many good friends at West Chester and my roommates in Scranton , but I wanted to thank everyone at Unionville, especially in the theatre department, for making 2012 one of the best years of my life! The world may not have ended (thank god) but we did crash a chandelier, we performed in Disney world with Neil Patrick Harris, and we produced all of Shakespeare plays by ourselves in May Play! I know I’m older now, and I had to resist the urge to run down the music hallway with a tiny water bottle and Philly pretzels and climb up the stairs to the stage watching the boy jump onto it from the orchestra pit, because no one there knows of me or of any of us because the seniors weren’t even in middle school when we graduated, but it just made me nostalgic because it looked the exact same, and it was one of the many places in my life that felt like a home away from home (shout out to the DMC at West Chester for being my biggest home away from home) but I’m just thinking of what my high school valedictorian said at graduation (whoever he was) that something happened here. All the running around, all the Red Bull’s, all the secret notes, and late nights... it couldn’t have been for nothing. The world keeps turning and life keeps going but I don’t want to have to forget the small moments or the happy moments just because they happened in the past. Something happened here and I’m going to hold onto that forever.

If it sounds like I peaked in High School, you're probably right. I wrote the above on a Facebook post (I know, I know, I'm old okay) and I was trying to avoid sounding like I peaked that year, but to be honest... I did. And that's okay. I've read before that we get to have many peaks in life. Just think of how many "Best Days Eva!!" you've had.

One of the Best Years of my Life was in 8th grade. My best friend had switched schools and I was afraid that meant our friendship was over, but we kept in touch through no less than 5 emails a day (I know, again, I'm old) and I was incredibly lonely, and honestly, it felt like all the fun of childhood was over. But I used to fight with this guy like cats and dogs or like an old married couple, and the teachers shipped us so assigned seating had us next to each other in Every. Class. We ended up star gazing together, ice skating together, talking about alien abductions together, breaking a church window together, and one spring day in 2011 at an aquarium, I realized I loved him. Not an In-Love kind of way (come on we were 12) but the only face I see in a crowded room kind of way, wither we're just friends/lovers/business partners I would always want him in my life kind of way, a person who understands me like no one else kind of way, could talk for hours and still not run out of things to talk about kind of way, an innocent kind of way. Maybe I did peak in middle school. Middle school was the last time I was truly my weird, quirky, carefree, pissed off, fiery self, because I didn't care about school. In high school I found out I was very, very good at school and that's when the high functioning anxiety set in. Since then, my life had become more hallow by the year chancing achievements I could put on my resume, following aesthetic trends, and comparing my life to where everyone else is.

I met him again senior year, and I tried to hold on to the past too tight (you can't blame me, I had cancer and thinking of young love and prom dates was a lot more fun than blood draws and radiation). I asked him if he wanted to come with me to watch our old 8th grade class graduate from Salies in what was rumored to be an impressive military style fashion. But he said no, he wasn't there in his life anymore, and he wasn't interested in going back, reliving any of it, and seeing anyone from then. That was when I first thought I had to keep moving forward and never look back.

But come on, its okay to peak in a time where everyone is attractive, no one has to worry about rent or car insurance, we spent 8 hours a day switching which friend group we spent the hour with, when everyone was excited about small things because it was all new, and something seemed to be happening every week. For some people that's middle school, for some its high school, for others its college, and for a lucky few it's a job they stay at for 25+ years!

In 2012 I was a part of the biggest musical production of a decade in my small town, one that is still talked about to this day when we debuted a brand new theatre built in the middle of legal controversy, selling out so many seats some of the actors brought out choir chairs to sell more seats and even sold admittance as standing room only! And the footage was deleted in all that, which many of the main actors were counting on for their college admittance! We survived a hurricane (Irene). The end of the World (end of the Mayan Calendar). We got to travel with our friends to Disney World in November and December to perform with Neil Patrick Harris and saw Lady Antebellum in person! Our senior formal was interrupted when someone started throwing flasks and it hit a few people in the head. And that was only one year! Most likely nothing will ever top that in excitement! It is one large exciting peak!

And other peaks may be less exciting but more meaningful!

I have since found new communities and friend groups in volleyball (a gym that has a bar with friends who can drink), more parties, going to Giant with my friends in footie pajamas, ski trips with friends, my roommates and I found a secret waterfall when a stranger let us on her property, and my first drive in theatre.

One day the best year of my life will be marrying my best friend and going on my honeymoon, and buying our first house and a little dog. It can never compete with sheer excitement and possibilities but it will be so life changing!

So yes, I did have a good childhood, and yes I did enjoy high school, and yes I did peak there, but so what! I don't live there anymore, I live in the present moment and I keep looking for new adventures and trying new things, but that doesn't mean I need to forget and stop talking about all the crazy stories and wonderful past experiences I had! I am proud of who I am, what I've done, and how I feel!

To Many More BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE! 🥂🎵🎶

They had said the footage of our Phantom was destroyed but it has been released from the vault, and here it is!

(I picked this video because I'm the girl in the mask!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6JGOUDHImk