Amore Mio, I'll Remember

I remember the first time I saw him, the first time I spoke with him, the first time I kissed him. I remember everything about him, the way he spoke, the way he walked, the way he looked at me. Even the aftershave he wore is seared into my brain.

I was a personal assistant at a major opera house in a very large city. The organization I worked for lent support to the affiliated theater. We were the ones who did the fund raising, the lectures, the brochures and anything else the theater required. We were the cavalry who came to the rescue whenever things needed to be done, and the Director of the organization was my manager.

I’d love the theater my whole life, particularly this one. I thanked the employment gods every time I set foot in that building. It was a dream come true.

When I first started working there, my boss would send me on errands: go deliver this to so and so in costume design, would you take this to the security office. It was a smart move in his part because it enabled me to get to know the layout of the theater and the personnel who worked there.

One of my favorite jobs was assisting guest artists who came to perform. Whenever a singer needed help, I became their on-loan assistant. I’d met some of the top singers and dancers in the field.

I had always been able to keep my emotions in check when dealing with the stars who drifted through the theater. Then he came and my world was thrown off kilter. This man touched my heart like no one else ever had.

At first, I thought it was unrequited love, just a mad crush on a famous person. Heck, I wasn’t a teenager; I thought I was immune to that kind of thing. It would pass, I was sure of it.

But it didn’t pass. Every time he requested my help, and I was near him, it was torture. Sweet, sweet torture. He was my first thought when I woke, my last thought as I fell asleep, and he haunted my thoughts often during the day.

Time came for the annual patron’s dinner dance, an event that was held in a posh restaurant, where awards were given out. Many of the top singers performed. It had been months since I’d seen him, and I knew he’d be there; he was scheduled to perform. I was looking forward to it, but at the same time, I was dreading it.

The MC went through the program in an efficient manner and then it came time for him to sing. I was sitting at a table about two rows back from the make-shift stage and as he took the stage, he looked at me and smiled. I nearly melted right there in my seat.

After the event was over, I was standing off to the side waiting for everyone else to leave. No point in fighting the crowd, right? Suddenly I felt someone’s fingers brushing against my hand, then they intertwined my fingers. I looked and it was him.

He’d never been that demonstrative before and thought maybe he’d had a little too much to drink and was getting bolder. But then he grabbed my arm and pulled me into a corner of the restaurant where we were away from prying eyes.

It was there he told me he loved me and had for a long time. It was also there he told me he was married. But that was okay with me.

I went back to his hotel with him and spent the night making love, chatting, and making love again. For the next five days this was our routine in the evening. During the day we’d pretend we were simply working together, nothing more.

Then he left and my heart broke all over again. I wanted him so very much. Truth be told, I still do, and it has been many, many years since I last saw him. He will always be the man I yearn for, the man I want to be with, my life, my love, my soul mate.

His last words to me were, “Amore mio, I’ll remember.”