All his love half the time

All his love, half the time

I love my Husband he really Is great, when he’s paying attention to me and not his phone, fan fictions, or his PS4. Typically we enjoy each other’s company but the Intimacy is not there how I would like It to be. When I say Intimacy I don’t mean sex I mean just the energy and passion between two people that love each other.

If he’s not on his phone playing a game he Is on the PS4 playing a game and if he is not doing that he is indulging in fan fiction and his actual fans. I don’t say anything I just get quiet, he knows something Is on my mind but I tell him nothing anyways although he knows that’s not the case. I don’t want to create an Issue between us cause It could be worse. But how do I get him to pay attention to me? Even If we are talking he multitasks and It bothers me but again, I don’t want to create an Issue or seem like a DIVA.

We spoke of having a baby and he was all for It but now I’m not so sure. Anytime I bring It up he just shy away from the conversation. Let the subject be him and anything he has going and he can talk for hours. I’m starting to feel that he Is In love with how much I love him, and not actually In love with me. I feel I have made a lot of excuses for him and the selfish things he does, maybe he loves me a little bit but at this rate I am starting to question everything. When he talks to me about his ambitions and things he wants to accomplish or he has accomplished he lights up and It like seeing a kid playing a video game, attention to detail, strategic, and determined. When my wants come back up he gets excited at first and then he changes the subject back to him.

I confided In a close friend and she Is very encouraging to the situation and she proceeds with caution. Everyone thinks I am so fragile! I’m not fragile, I’m fucking pissed! I am tired of getting half of the man and relationship that I signed up for! I am tired of not having a solid choice In the things that go on. I love this man I do but a change has to come. We had a path laid out seems like once we got married he just doesn’t care anymore the things we talked about are out the door now.

I brought up having a baby again and this was a week ago! And guess what?! He hasn’t touched me In a week! Kisses yes but sex…. absolutely not! So I guess I have my answer I just don’t know what to do, but I need to get to the bottom of this.

He came home from work today kissed me, ate a pb n j sandwich, and went to take a shower. I am over this right now. As he Is In the shower his phone goes off buzzing like crazy. I was going to take It In the bathroom since I knew he would be a while but as I grabbed It, It continued to buzz my curiosity got the best of me as I place my finger on the button to unlock the phone an app popped up call “boing” I never seen or herd of It so I decided to open It up but It needed a passcode… Hmm Interesting, I decided to use his birthday wrong, my birthday, wrong, damn what could It be? I used his moms birthday and bingo! It worked! I peak Into the bathroom and he Is still prepping for his long ass Hollywood shower.

I stayed close to the door so I could hear him come he walks so hard It wouldn’t be a secret so as I scroll through this app I see men… All men… Wtf? I click on a section called Interactions and there are pictures as I click on them I start to get sick this man has pictures of him full spread showing his asshole legs In the air, dick and balls lifted up showing asshole! I didn’t even know he was that limber! Then I see pictures of a man sucking his dick… he sucking a man’s dick and pictures of Bukake’! He let men cum all over his face and In his mouth and he comes home to kiss me! I get to the point I can’t hold It anymore and I run to the bathroom to throw up….. To my surprise his “ritual” before a shower He was sitting on the vanity In the closet sucking his own dick! I caught him just as he came In his own mouth and I throw up and I couldn’t stop he looks at me In shock and I keep throwing up!

I pack a bag and head for the door and he tried to stop me, I move pass him and run to my car, It’s pouring raining I speed off and call my lover to tell him that I’m coming over for a few nights. The plan he put In placed worked, yes I do have a lover but only because I finally suspected that the reason I had all his love half the time Is because he was an undercover brother!