Add "Homie Hopper" To My List of Things I Became

As I stood in the kitchen cooking up some home made goodies for my daughter and me, we carried on with our typical mother-daughter conversations. Everything from the current weather, to inner circle gossip, and me driving her crazy with questions pertaining to my fashion choices for upcoming events. She gave me the same response as always, "Ma, I am the wrong child to be asking"! This response always cracks me up! Although, she wasn't wrong. My oldest was the right person to contact for any topics pertaining to fashion choices or home decor options.

Moving on...

Our conversation took a twist as I was catching her up on my "boys that are friends" current events and timelines. She licked the spoon from the bowl of cookie dough as she laughed at me! "Ma, you are a homie hopper"! This statement caught me off guard. "Um, I am a what"?

"You are a homie hopper"

All I could do was stare at her with a blank expression on my face. I truly had no clue what the heck she was saying about me. What I did know was I was about to learn something that would forever change the way I viewed myself and my circle of "boyfriends"!

She continued on, "First there was Mr. Douche and then Mooch, and now Drama King! I shrugged my shoulders as I took a bite into a fresh-baked chocolate chip cookie. "It's not like I went out and purposely chased a circle of friends". Which wasn't a lie. It was a supposed friend of mine that recommended Mr. Douche as someone who was a decent, reliable person needing a room to rent. Turns out I was in the market for someone reliable to rent a room in my house for extra income. The ten-year restraining order the judge awarded me against Mr. Douche proves how inaccurate that statement was! He was anything but decent or reliable.

As far as Mooch goes... I had no clue there was such a thing as "trauma bonding"! Well, I do now and it is one of the other extreme "ta done's" on my bucket list of things I had no clue would ever happen but are insane enough to deserve an honorable mention. Turns out when you date someone that gaslights you, openly cheats on you, and finally beats you while driving 80 mph up a road so he can attempt to drive his car off the rims... which would kill you... you instantly fall madly in love with the next person that pretends to adore you. Thank you Mr. Douche for that lovely shit show! This is where Mooch made his grand entrance. The fact it was a friend of Mr. Douche was not something I had planned or was prepared for. Looking back now, I feel like Mooch knew exactly what he was doing or getting himself involved in. As my children have stated, "Mom, he saw you coming a mile away"! Which is a nice way of stating... he lived up to his nickname and then some!

Next!

That would be a knock on my door from Drama King. Which was another unexpected event. I had no intention of becoming so close to a 20-year friend of Mooch's. It just happened and I can't say I am sorry for it! The time we spent together was a blast and eye-opening. Although, short lived... he provided a ton of laughs and quite a bit of frustration that led me to focus on my patience. Which is a good thing! The best part of our friendship... it wasn't sexual! Not that I wouldn't or couldn't! It's just that in the past few relationships the sex has been something that I felt I was being used for or got ditched once they got what they wanted. So not feeling pressured for anything other than my presence was a feel-good for my soul! I truly needed to know that someone of the opposite sex would crave spending time with me with my clothes on.

I mean, I do also have an amazing personality!

What has not turned out to be a feel good from all of this is the term "homie hopper"! I had no idea I was living in such a way. The awareness forced me to see that the crowd I was allowing in my life was not for the best in the long run. I mean unless I enjoy being physically and verbally abused. We all know what the definition of insanity is... right?!?!

Yep, doing the same things (or groups of guys) over and over and expecting different results!

So it didn't take much thought as far as which direction I wanted to go with Drama King. A total blast to hang out with but not one I would define as long term, serious relationship material. Just the fact that he was besties with a person that I deem an evil monster in my past life... doesn't give him a leg up in the line of possibilities to anything other than a fun time!

I am always grateful for the conversations between my daughter and I. They seem to add value on both ends of the spectrum. Allowing myself to see from an outside perspective the path or trend I was following. Even though, I did not set out to be a "homie hopper" I could clearly see how I was being labeled as one. Ugh!

Now, that I can check "homie hopper" off of my 'ta do' list of things I didn't plan on doing... I think there has got to be some other stereotype that is worthy of my time and attention and wont involve me passing out my phone number to the next huddle of homies I encounter. In fact, I think my next dating adventures will be beyond anything or anyone I have known in the past.

I mean, let's be honest... none of them were even on the same level as me or in the same class. This always leads to some fun and not so fun memories but I am truly seeking someone that forces me to level up and can carry a conversation that uses full sentences and doesn't require me to get half naked in order to keep their full attention.

I am ready for that one special someone that truly deserves an honorable mention. The one that can change my love story from seeking to found.

Oh, how really wonderful that does sound!