Accountability For Everyone?

               “Are you a stupid!?” This is one of the first words I remember my grandmother telling me. She yelled this out whenever I did something that wasn’t up to her standard or displayed any childlike clumsiness. She didn’t know much English, and I didn’t know much Spanish. Communication wasn’t great. May she rest in peace.  This didn’t mean she treated all her grandkids this way; at times, she played favorites. There were rules I had to follow, and enforcement for my older sister was nonexistent. I’ve seen this in other families and scenarios.

               Growing up Catholic, Ethan and his family attended church on random Sundays. He had found out that a priest at this church had impregnated a nun. The church sent the nun “away”; the priest, however, remained at the church. Ethan made it a point to ask the priest loudly, “Where is the nun he impregnated?” The priest would be moved to different churches, and when he learned of the priest’s new church, he decided to have his family attend. At every attendance, he would question the nun's whereabouts. 

The priest would attempt to avoid the conversation and “escape”. The people of the church would appear upset with Ethan. They would then ask him to leave. Ethan simply claimed innocence and was only searching for the missing nun. They did not appear to agree with him.  The consequences followed the position, but not the action.

               A little after Christmas, Vera told her friends that an ex from her high school days was contacting her on social media. Vera’s friends had warned her that he wasn’t over his ex, who had left him more than 6 months ago due to infidelity. They informed her that he found out his ex was having a girls’ night out with friends for the Christmas break and hunted her down. Once he found her and she refused to see him, he slashed her tires and smashed her windows in. Vera had noticed that all his social media posts were about loyalty and living a righteous life. His friends would agree and claim to live the same kind of life.  His ex had shown she was moving on. She didn’t call him out online while he seemed focused on loyalty instead of his infidelity that caused her to leave in the first place.

               Raven has a baby brother, David, around 7 at the time, who was spoiled rotten by their mother, Grace. Whenever David did not get his way, chaos would break out. He only behaved when their father, Ethan, was around. Ethan works a full-time job and couldn’t spend every waking moment with the family like Grace could. One day, Grace took her children to get ice cream. Their older sibling sat in front while Raven sat in the back with David. He began to throw a fit in his car seat, claiming he didn’t want ice cream. When the three of them got their ice cream, David began wailing and throwing himself around. Luckily, he was restrained by his car seat and didn’t do much damage. Raven pulled out her phone and began recording him. Grace would only turn the music up and ignore him. Raven would send the video to their father. When Ethan arrived, he would discipline David for acting out and forbid him from playing with his toys.

               When Grace found out, she appeared upset with Raven and would punish her by ignoring her for about a week.  When he was at work, Grace would allow David to play with his toys. When Raven continued to document his poor behavior, Grace would take her phone away. Only when her dad was home, would she give the phone back to her. His behavior was never corrected.

               Why do some people feel the need to hold some accountable and others not? I don’t understand it. Position appears to matter. So, I ask, is accountability only for people below you?