A year later, we are still here

It`s been more than a year since this pandemic started, but we seem to have troubles learning from it still. It`s been over a year since the last time we were allowed to go out without wearing a mask and hug the people who were dear to our hearts. It`s been over a year, since we had the chance to just go and see a play in the theatre or a movie in the cinema.

A year… 1 year… It doesn`t seem that long written down, but if we think about it… It`s a year of our life that we will never get back. Most people has 70, 80, 90 of them, so it doesn`t look like a big deal, but many doesn`t. In that year we change, we grow and we become a better version of ourselves. We build memories, we learn new skills, we meet new people, and we make mistakes. This time we did change, but not by the meeting others or through the memories we built, we couldn`t do that. We changed by the unexpected events of a global pandemic, also by the loss and loneliness it caused in our everyday lives. We weren`t allowed to meet people we loved, because we tried to protect them and others around us. There were no major milestones that usually happens in teenage and twenties lives, no proms, no graduation, no road trips, no seeing the world. I was 25 when this all started with the hopes and dreams of travelling in my mid twenties and going on dates, maybe finding the love of my life or at least making new friends, exploring cultures and eating some traditional food. But as we all know, that didn`t happen, instead I got through 3 lockdowns, tried to get nanny and tutoring jobs so I can pay for rent and food, it got me to get a live in job at a toxic environment, because my flatmates couldn`t pay rent anymore and we collectively would have end up living on the streets. When I couldn`t take the toxicity of my new workplace, I had to move 3 times within 2 weeks, leaving behind everything to move back to my family before all the borders closed. I`m 27 now… and I honestly don`t know how will I go back to “normal” life after all this. I lost all my social skills, my will to achieve my goal and a good percent of my will to live in general. Going back to work that I loved and cared for, now seems like the scariest thing, I can`t even imagine how would I feel if I hated my job and after this many months I had to go back.

We feel like we are returning to the ”normal” because stores are staring to open up, bars and restaurants are getting ready, but this time it`s going to be a different “normal”. We can`t just forget about the last year and move on like nothing has happened. We can`t just pretend to be fine and go on with the knowledge that it changed some parts of us. We can`t just move on with our lives without acknowledging that people has lost their lives, their jobs. Most of us know at least one person died from Covid and I`m pretty sure we all know more than one person who lost their job or their housing during this time. We also know people who still refuse to believe that this pandemic is in fact real and serious… So how is that possible?!

Now that we are trying to rebuild our lives and we are trying to restart and shift back to the normal we used to know, I hope we will keep at least a little the “we are in this together” mentality at least a little longer. In the end of the day, we all just want to live, survive and be us.