A timely tale of love in...love out

Do you wonder if pandemic were around, while you two were dating, would you still be married? Divorced?

I’m reading a lot about the new relationships blossoming during global pandemic. (I don’t get it, but hey why not) The dating alone must be absolutely tedious, let alone the lack of sex. The lack of sexy time. The lack of physical anything. At least in the traditional manner we’ve practiced since the beginning of time, so I’m told. What if this is what’s needed to spark up an archaic practice of hits and misses.

The divorce rate for 2020 was 14.9 per 1000. It’s lowest in fifty years. Unfortunately I’m not apart of that statistic but will be counted in 2021 as mine was finalized at the beginning of the year. Is taking a slower time to getting to know someone working? Is waiting a minute before mounting someone the new normal? Have we gone full circle from the movements, the sexties, free love, my love, your love, our love? I don’t see how slowing down to gently learn how to interact with another is a bad thing at all. Butterflies could be allowed to bloom again in your tummy, cold feet will need socks, do they or don’t they will work it’s way back into our vernacular. Romance in, swipe to the left out. Or is that swipe right?

I was married 2,208 days to the same person. It more or less ended on that day but was recognized by the courts of Los Angeles till January 2021. Can’t blame that on COVID. Can’t really blame anything outside of the two of use. The Towers of Power we we’re called on a good day. The Towers of Terror on a bad one. Clearly were not height challenged.

There was not one thing traditional about our gay married, house remodeling, child adopting and dealing with older parents relationship. Was is doomed before it started at such a feverish pace? Should it have been swipped left, or right. I quickly say NO to this obvious idea as THIS failed relationship was the foundation for our child. Maybe I could have taken a bit longer then 2 weeks to move in with him. He made a compelling argument to move in and hey, I needed a place to live since the house of my previous relationship had just sold. No this relationship had nothing to do with the break up of the other, promise. Perhaps asking him to marry me after 6 months could have waited. But he was hard pressed for insurance, RED FLAG. How about the international destination wedding blessed with 50 of my closest, sorry, 43 of my closest and dearest and well you get the picture only 13 short months after him accepting the ring. Would any of these cause you to slow down? Well I just held on tighter trying not to stare at the cracks in the still drying foundation. One month before flying across the world to join our names we bought a house. A small house that hadn’t been touched since the mid 70’s. Not groovy! So, keep up with me. Bought the fixer, started the major tear to the studs remodel right before leaving for the grand beaches and our vows. Arriving home with no real threshold to carry him over, but hey we were most likely arguing.

Things slowed for a moment and we only focused on the remodel, this being manageable for me. Then like a kick in the ass we dealt with a relapse, major health scare and picking out stone for the walk in shower I wanted. Alas another chance to breathe as lifes gifts (lol) have slowed down. Remember I mentioned an adoption well that never went away. In fact it was about this time that we got the call to be the dads of our gender unknown child who will be making an appearance at the end of the year. BAM back into 5th, 6th or 7th gear to get this house ready for our family of 3.

Just like that December came and so did our son. The most glorious day of our lives. Flying by the seat of our pants learning to be dads to this lil guy. Looking back I think all parents go through the “im not good enough phase right?” Life kind of slowed down but then again not really. Only this time we had another to worry about and spend our time with. This was definitely the beginning of the down hill trek. A brief reprieve from our lives came in August and set in Hawaii. Another marriage. (Lol) damn insurance and those tricky clauses.

You know the final chapter, it’s nothing magnificent just an ordinary walking out the door. Would a slower beginning have changed anything?