A Terrible Start to a Beautiful Morning

By Kova April 12, 2020

This morning, motivated by my son, my husband and I decided to run Ridge Road with him, together as a family. Corona has been wonderful in reminding us of the value of family time. I started off first, but my son quickly galloped past me. My husband, getting a late start, seemed much farther behind. As I was running, I counted about 10 people at different points along Ridge Road, which, at 7am on a Tuesday morning, is considered busy but expected during this quarantine times.

Since the outbreak of the Corona virus, the Federal government has advised that people wear masks when outside, but President Trump has pointed out that it was NOT law and the he, himself was not going to be wearing a mask. Virginia has directed all Virginians to stay at home EXCEPT to seek medical attention, to go to work, to care for family members, to get groceries, medicine, OR to engage in outdoor activities, for exercise, BUT with strict social distancing requirement. That strict social distancing requirement, I believed was 6 feet or more distance from one another.

Like all the other runners on Ridge, I was glad to be able to run outdoors since quarantine had us all leading a sedentary life. I was happily waving and saying,” Good Morning” to the runners as we passed each other at a safe distance. It was chilly and I was feeling strong. I am a better runner when it’s a bit chilly. I listened to my workout music without the earphones and I was happily tracking my steps. When I got pretty close to the 2-mile mark, I spotted my son walking towards me. He must have just reached it and turned around. Valuing a little chat with my son over tagging the mile mark, I turned around and walk with him back toward Garth Rd. “Cheater!” I thought to myself as I called myself out. Still, I enjoyed our chat until it looked like my son was planning to walk/jog the rest of the 2 miles back, so I decided to run ahead to make up for the incomplete 2 miles. It was a beautiful morning with clear skies & clear, blue sky above the trees.

Soon I saw my husband coming towards me, and then passing me heading to the 2-mile mark. Ha! I thought. I’m ahead of him. I know this won’t last and it doesn’t as he passes me up again from behind, leaving me in the dust! “I don’t care!” I tell him in my mind. I don’t care ‘cuz I’m enjoying this morning with my heart full of joy from the weather, the outdoors and the friendly fellow runners.

As I get closer to the end of Ridge, near Garth Rd, I see my husband in the distance walking around in a circle and trying to catch his breath next to our car. But straight ahead, I see 2 people running towards me and they are waving at me. As they get closers, I finally see that they are my old running buddies. I light up because it’s such a treat to see any of your friends these days. Social distancing has everyone isolated and I miss seeing my friends, socializing and connecting. Now I have a great big smile on my face because I couldn’t have imagined how this morning could be topped and it has! I’m full of gratitude.

I have made great friends over the years here in Charlottesville. This is the town where I can run into friends and acquaintances doing the most mundane things and I love it! When I get to the car, I’m exhausted, and my legs are tired. What I really want to do is sit down. So, I lift up the hatch back and sit in it. We are now waiting on our son to catch up, when this lady with a face mask on, runs by and yells at my husband, “You should have a mask on!”

My husband doesn’t leave it alone. He yells back sarcastically, “oh, okay…”

Then she yells, “Fuck you!”

He yells back, “Right back at ya!”

“Stop it!” I tell my husband. “Just leave it alone.” I plead.

“She started it!” He says. “I was just standing here!”

Now she’s turned around and walking back towards us.

“What are you doing there! move on! You’re sitting there like you’re having a picnic!”

By this time, my son has joined us. He’s circling around trying to catch his breath.

She yells, “You’re not 6 feet apart!” She’s standing about 20 yards away from us.

My husband yells back, “We are more than 6 feet from you!”

She yells, “Fuck you! you are not 6 feet apart from each other!”

“We live together!”

“Well, move on! why are you just sitting there! Are you having a picnic?!” Then it happened. He said it! He said the thing.

“Are you yelling at me because I’m Asian? Are you racially profiling me?” My husband demanded. I can’t believe it! He pulled the race card! I’m horrified.

Then a friend of hers catches up to us. She must have heard the last bit of that confrontation. She kindly stops to explain, to mitigate the situation. She explains that her running partner is, well, the way she is… she uses many gentle words to let us know that it was not our doing. We thank her for her kindness, and we drive off. Her friend wasn’t wearing a mask.

This incident was shocking to me but to my husband, it was becoming too familiar. Yesterday, a similar situation occurred again on Ridge. He was running with our son when an elderly couple yelled at him to move to the edge of the road. He told them he was 6 feet away from them, but the lady was upset and started coughing at him. When things like this happen, I’m trying very hard not to believe that we were racially profiled. I’d hate to think this would happen here in our community where we raised our kids, made life-long friends and planned to retire in. But the thought does cross my mind, ‘Was she, in fact, just yelling at us or was she yelling at all the other runners on Ridge that day, all of whom did not have masks on. Of course, I couldn’t help but share my incident with the 2 friends that jogged by earlier. It seems, they were not yelled at and were horrified for us. I stubbornly want to believe it was not racial and yet it nags at me. It’s very conflicting and confusing for me, especially since most of the time I forget I’m Asian, having been in the States most of my life, and in Charlottesville for 25 years. As confusing as it is, I’m now clear on 3 things:

1. Corona fears brings out the worst in some and compassion in others.

2. Friends will always feel for you and stand by you.

3. Corona seems to remind me that no matter how American I feel, others see only the Asian in me, which now a days, is a bad thing.