A miracle, a sprout, and a badass walk into a bar...

One of my favorite things I ever read was this: Don’t quit five minutes before the miracle happens. I couldn’t tell you for the life of me when or where I read that- I maybe I even heard it somewhere- but I have it written in my office, and I come back to it over and over again. It might even be the most inspirational piece of advice I’ve ever received from the universe because any time I get impatient, anxious, or start losing steam, I can come back to that. And right now, I need that.

I published my first book in October of last year. It is a children’s book called Annie the Adventurer. I thought for sure, by now, a whole four months later, that it would be the best-selling children’s book that has ever been written, and what a record-breaking feat that would be- to surpass Dr. Seuss, Shel Silverstein, or any other children’s author in such a short time. It would be a literary anomaly, a work of absolute genius, filled with words from the heart. By now, I would be booked on all the talk shows, finalizing the lease on a Manhattan apartment from whence I would write my next best-seller, and people would be throwing petals at my feet as I walked down 5th Avenue, and if anyone asked, who is that? Someone would answer, in great awe, the greatest children’s book author that has ever lived.

Welcome to the inside of my brain where all of this, every last bit, seemed perfectly reasonable to assume as I submitted the final manuscript of my self-published work of art. If you’re laughing right now, I get it. To most people, this is probably absurd. I can objectively see that. I can hear the absurdity as I type this. But it doesn’t matter- not to me. I am still in shock that my life is the same as it was four months ago. It is the same feeling that I get every time I buy a lottery ticket and don’t win. I am incredulous. In utter disbelief. I was absolutely certain that was the winning ticket. So, you can see how after four months of no success – like not even one measly royalty check has arrived yet- I would feel discouraged. It’s like the opposite of normal people, you know? Most people would be like, well, these things take time, and feel not discouraged. But I am not normal people. I am Morgan, and I live in The Morganverse, and I expect things to glitter and sparkle and appear in the manner in which I have deemed magical enough to my liking. So, this life, I tell you, living on other people’s timelines, is tough.

Four months of not success can start to get to me- it’s starting to get to me- and can make me feel like giving up, like moving on to the next million-dollar-idea, until I remember: don’t give up five minutes before the miracle happens. Because that’s what it feels like I would be doing- giving up- and that feeling alone is enough to keep me going as contradictory as it seems. I cannot give up because it hasn’t been five minutes yet, even though it feels like an eternity. If you’ve seen the movie The Secret, there is a scene that shows a little sprout under the soil, working its way to the top about to push through, and the guy is talking about how people give up on their manifestations just before that little seedling pops through the dirt without ever knowing how close they truly were to having everything they ever wanted. That feels like a visual of that quote. And both those things- the quote and that visual- push me to forge ahead. But God, if some days it doesn’t feel like I’ve been waiting forever. Like my bags are packed, LET’S DO THIS. But when I am the closest to giving up, I think, what if that sprout is just. right. there. And I keep going. Impatient, but going. I remind myself that maybe The Drew Barrymore Show hasn’t called yet because they are still sorting out schedules of actual celebrities and will call once they have a slot for me. Maybe Jack Canfield hasn’t returned my email yet because he’s on vacation. Maybe Taylor Swift hasn’t read my book yet because she is on WORLD TOUR but when she is done, she will absolutely invite me out to breakfast to discuss Annie. You never know, crazy things happen.

What I do know, though, is that nothing happens to people that don’t try. Nothing happens to people that don’t put themselves out there. Like Wayne Gretzky said, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. So yeah, I’m going to keep sending my books to the most ridiculous places and I’ll keep tagging celebrities in my silly little TikToks because honestly, this is how people get the breaks they are looking for. Fortune favors the bold, God helps those that help themselves… you get the point. So, I just have to keep going. Even when it feels like there is very little reward, and even when it feels like my hopes and dreams and goals are sooooo out of touch. God didn’t put all of this in my heart without a reason, so I just have to act on faith alone that all these bonkers little ideas that pop into my head are all pieces of the puzzle and that one day soon, the miracle is going to happen and it’s going to happen because I didn’t give up five minutes earlier. The tricky part is knowing that five minutes to me and five minutes to the universe can be very different measures of time.

Lastly, there is ego. I’m about a quarter of the way through Jen Sincero’s book, You Are a Badass, and even though I have a degree in Psychology, I earned that a long time ago so her little reminders about ego are helpful. She also talks a lot about this same thing though, that just as we are about to break through, just as the sprout is about to pop through the soil, just five minutes before the miracle, our egos will set us up for failure. We self-sabotage. We give up way before we ever should, massive hurdles will appear to thwart our progress, or our little gremlins inside our heads will start telling us little lies about our worth and our abilities. Her advice is the same. To trust you are a badass and to keep going. I’m not here to write a book report, but it’s like I have this trilogy to pave a way for me, when I feel like giving up the most. Like the sprout, the miracle, and her book are like, look, it is super normal to feel like this, but we are going to give you things to hold onto, so you don’t get lost in the swamps of sadness. So onward I go. And maybe I didn’t break all the records ever for children’s books in four months, but maybe in six, which isn’t that long from now. Heck, I would even take not breaking any records in six months, if I still get a few appearances on shows. I mean, if I broke all the records with my first book, what would I have to look forward to with my next one or two or five? So, I will wait, patiently, for the miracle, because maybe as I write this we are in the fourth minute, so it’s just right around the corner.