A Forever?

Cue in Katy Perry's - The One That Got Away

"Summer after high school when we first meant, make-out in the back seat your Mustang"

That was literally us. Well except I was in Uni and we met during the beginning of summer. We definitely made out in the back seat of your car.

I started writing this a year ago, and turns out we are still together till date.

We started a joint bank account. Talk about commitment. We are planning on moving in together.

BUT sometimes I wonder if I am more into this than you.

I wonder if you are still as attracted to me as I am to you, or you are settling because of potential of things I bring to the table. Call it my insecure thoughts

Am I too clingy to you? Am I too much? All these questions.

I want to ask all these questions but I ask myself if its all in my head.

We are heading to 2 years together. We have had a peaceful relationship so far. No major arguments.

When these insecure thoughts pop into my head. I remind myself that I am worth it. That I am worthy of all affections and love.

What exactly do I mean to you?

What are your worries about me that you have?

It is easy to just communicate these things with you right?

Maybe its one of those nights.

I will come back to this later.

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Hello 2 yrs ago me, I am back! and turns out A and I are still together. We have had little arguments here and there but always resolved quickly. We have never gotten into any major fights thankfully. Going in 4 years now. You would be very proud of how far we have come; both in our personal life, relationship life, and career life.

You made major decisions in your life and I couldn't be more prouder of you. You have really reshaped our life. You and I are taking real charge of it now.

The best part, we have our freedom! the freedom we had always dreamt of.

For the ultimate surprise, 1 year into moving in with A, we did buy a Condo together. We did it. We are home-owners with A!

Life has been alright. We are in therapy now for all the past traumas we went through, for all the insecurities that had brewed on for far too long. We are growing everyday and becoming the Man we wished to be.

We are truly learning boundaries, improving our self-esteem, our self-confidence, and really getting to know what self-love is about.

There is so much we are learning. Sadly we lost the love of some of our family members when we came out. It was tough. Don't be sad though, we are deeply loved by those around us. We have a good support system.

This is all for now 2 yrs ago me. I am glad you pushed onwards and never gave up. Present me will keep on doing the same. We have got so much to live for, so much to see, so many places to travel. Lastly, so much delicious food to try. We are living the soft life now and forever.

To the future 2 yrs later me - I am manifesting great and wonderful things for you. Everything that I am desiring and working to get, you will have them by then. If not, it means we are closer to the goal. However, I know you will have achieved most of our goals.

Till then, I will keep soaring as high as the eagle. Keep your head up high.