8 Unmistakable Signs of Silent Attraction
For when we can’t verbally say how we feel
If someone is out there—even from a distance—with whom we share an attraction, how do we know if we can’t tell that person? Simple. We look for nonverbal signs.
I met a man years ago I was very attracted to. I saw him often, and each time I did, my heart raced, and I felt breathless. So yeah, like the 80’s Berlin song, he took my breath away. As silly as that might sound, it’s true. At the time, it seemed like he liked me too, but maybe that is wishful thinking. We were both unavailable, though, and for a few reasons, neither of us could ever act on these feelings or verbally express them. Yet, it seemed to float between us for a long time, like an orb suspended in mid-air. Since then, I cannot think of another moment in my life when I felt that much chemistry with someone I only knew on a superficial level. For years, the idea of silent attraction has left me fascinated and, at times, puzzled.
It is inconceivable how much we communicate without words. In Amy Cuddy’s famous TED Talk, “Does Body Language Shape Who You Are?” she informs us that at least half of communication is through nonverbal signals. Considering this, there are many ways to send someone the message of attraction without speaking a single word.
We often don’t know why or how we have powerful chemistry with someone; we just do. That’s why when it happens, it can grab us by surprise. While writing this article, I reflected on my experience with this man and how I felt when I saw him. From this, I created a list of clues I had during my encounters with him and how I interpreted them.
If we cannot articulate how we feel, we are left searching for signs of interest, and here they are.
1. Prolonged Eye Contact
Eye contact is powerful. Prolonged eye contact is looking into someone’s soul. I think it’s safe to say average eye contact lasts a few seconds. Yet, if we find ourselves holding that look longer—say, more than four seconds, that communicates a strong interest. In all honesty, the eyes never seem to lie.
2. Time Stands Still
When we are in complete awe or admiration of someone, it can feel like the clocks have stopped. Everything slows down, and it is as if no one else is in the room. We may notice that the conversation is a bit drawn out; everything feels like it could go on and on regardless of seconds, minutes, or hours.
3. Subtle Touching
A person attracted to us will make any excuse for touching, even innocently. When that person does make contact, whether it is subtle or more obvious, if we are attracted to them too, we may feel a spark, almost like an electric shock. It can feel strange and can be hard to wrap our heads around. The feeling can leave us speechless and almost in a daze where we can’t think straight.
It is natural to smile when we are around someone we like. It becomes an automatic response that we may not even be aware of. If we see a big grin from this person of interest, that’s always a good sign.
This one is somewhat related to number two- time stands still. Most of us have seen or spoken with someone we find attractive and have enjoyed their company so much we don’t want it to end. We might feel they don’t want it to end, either. So, we do whatever we can to make the moment last. Makes sense.
6. Physical Proximity
This is somewhat related to number three – subtle touching. It is human nature to want to be near someone or something we like. Therefore, it likely means there’s a physical attraction if someone is often in our personal space and really getting close to us.
7. Remembering Small Details
If someone is into us, they will remember small details from the conversation. We may not even think those details are important, but to them, they are. Time passes, and that person might ask us about something we mentioned a while back. They wouldn't have remembered it if it didn't mean anything. We don’t bother to remember things unless they are significant to us in some way. So, if little details are recalled and asked about, that’s a good sign.
8. The Stare Across the Room
This is one of those moments in life that if we are lucky enough to have experienced it, we are very lucky. A stare across the room is one of the most telling signs of interest. Someone is trying to get our attention from afar and admiring us at the same time. There are different possibilities for staring, but in my experience, it often denotes desire; if it is mutual, even better.
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About the author
I was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY. I write contemporary fiction, nonfiction stories, and blog posts about life, books, and creativity. Connect with me on Twitter @jennwardwrites or find me here: https://jennifermarieward.com/
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