7 Important Lessons You Can Learn After a Breakup

Breakups miss. Every parting comes with its challenges. However, most of the time, the end of a relationship is about what and how we want to love and be loved. We gathered seven important lessons learned and told by people about how he marked them, but also changed the separation from loved ones.

Listen to your instinct

"I would have broken off the relationship earlier, but I continued to believe that he would get better or that my friend would become the one I hoped he would be, and I also didn't want to hurt him. One evening, when we were both at the nearby bar, I took courage and told him everything, after that, I didn't want to see him again. He followed me into my apartment and verbally abused me. When he finally went crazy, I removed him from my list on all social networks. It took me a while to recover. His behavior wiped out all the doubts I had about parting. Five years have passed and I'm trying to listen more to myself. If I had followed my intuition, I wouldn't have wasted so much time with him. Now I know how to listen to that little voice that says, "This isn't okay."

If sex is not good, neither will the relationship

"My ex-boyfriend and I were compatible in almost every way: we came from similar backgrounds, we were the same age and we liked the same movies and music. We had our jokes, we were like made for each other - and our families and friends felt the same way. Problem? There was no heat between us. I was more like my best friend and sex never went into the "ok" category. I realized I couldn't spend the rest of my life like this. My current partner and I never fit into what we like or dislike, but we have incredible chemistry, and our relationship is stronger because of that. "

Separation is not a reflection of who you are or what you deserve

"I saw someone for almost a year. One day he told me he had a girlfriend and we wouldn't be able to see each other again. He told me he would ask her to marry him by the end of the year. It destroyed me. What are the two great lessons we have learned from the experience? First of all, you can't force someone to be loyal to you. I had no idea that this man was in a long-term relationship while we were seeing each other. Second, you can't force someone to take care of you. This relationship made me look in the mirror and say, "You are good and beautiful. That person doesn't deserve you. "

Don't forget who you are and what your needs are

"I moved in with a man after only three months of the relationship. It was a total mismatch in every way. I am social, ambitious, and curious and with him, I could not be like that. I wanted to break up with him for a while, but I had never lived with anyone before and I felt trapped. Eventually, I made him break up with me.

Experience has taught me a lot about the importance of reciprocity in a relationship. I need a partner who offers as much as possible and that should be each other. He also showed me how important it is to keep my own identity and focus on my own needs, even if I care and am present for someone else. "

Don't become addicted to a partner

"In the second year of college, I was already four years old when we were together. Even though I was in trouble, I wasn't strong enough to end it. I asked him one day while studying in the library, "If you don't want to stay with me, why are we still together?" He had no answer, so we broke up. I was very hurt at the time, but looking back, I couldn't have been happier if I had stayed. Dividing has changed the way I start a relationship, teaching me not to become addicted to someone who forces me to change who I am. "

Don't stay together just because you're comfortable with it

"I was in a relationship for two years. Just before we moved in, he called me and told me he had doubts. We talked a lot and cried. Eventually, it became increasingly clear that we were staying with each other just because we felt comfortable. We realized that it was easier for us to stay together than to face reality. When I look back, I realize I should have taken the risk and found the right person for me. "

Look for someone to share your ideas and perspectives

"I was in a relationship with a guy for three years. He still lived on his parents' money. He always said he was trying to change, but his actions never showed. As time went on, I became more and more irritated that I was the only motivated person with initiative. When we broke up it was hard, but in the end, we learned that above all it is good to have standards, you don't have to be with someone just because you love them, you feel attraction and you get along well. For me, as a person-oriented towards achieving goals, I needed someone who was motivated, but also to motivate me to become a better person ".