6 Tips to Get People to Like You

There are plenty of people in the world that suffer from the lack of the necessary social skills to attract others in a friendly or erotic manner.

It’s not always an easy task to find what the other party involved likes, dislikes, or wants to talk and hear about. If this information was known beforehand, we would be able to dress up our speech to get some likeability points.

Nevertheless, there are some simple things that the largest percentage of people in the world are drawn to that can help you attract others to you.

These 6 tips derive from the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” written by Dale Carnegie back in the ’30s, but they are still as relevant for today’s social standards.

1. Become Genuinely Interested in Other People

The very first thing on the list that is vital for everything to work out is to become genuinely interested in the other person. Great emphasis is given to the genuine part.

To become interested in others you need to have a healthy curiosity for their affairs that can build your motivation towards meeting them and getting to know them better.

By the term healthy curiosity I mean to have an interest in things relevant in their lives that you can learn about without crossing any limits they impose.

For example, you can ask them how their work or student life is going on but proceed with caution when indulging in conversations about their family, love life, and generally things they might want to share with people close to them.

Furthermore, the interest you show has to be genuine; meaning to be completely real and neither forced nor on purpose to get them on your side. As I’ve shown before, sincerity is a top-tier trait to have to seem pleasing.

“Listen more than you talk. Nobody learned anything by hearing themselves speak.”

- Richard Branson

2. Smile

A characteristic that helps in seeming sincere, kind, and more approachable in general is that of honestly smiling.

Firstly, a genuine smile consists of the widening of the mouth and the appearance of wrinkles around the eyes. Only when these 2 things happen can the smile be perceived as natural and therefore produce its effects on others.

Secondly, based on Allan & Barbara Pease’s book “The Definitive Book of Body Language” smiling sends a submission signal to others. This means that wearing an honest and bright smile makes you seem easier to approach and have a conversation with because you seem less threatening.

Thirdly, a genuine smile brings positive energy to the people around you. Don’t forget that when we find something amusing we always laugh, meaning that a smile is correlated with having fun. Consequently, people will think that their presence is enjoyable to you and will reciprocate this effect towards you as well.

Lastly, what makes a smile such a wonderful trait is that it can even bring its effects “forcefully”. This means that if you try and smile on purpose, you and the people around you will be more at ease and feel that positive energy filling up your minds.

“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.”

​- Thich Nhat Hanh

3. Remembering a Person’s Name

I cannot stress enough how this simple thing can work wonders in getting people to like you more. It might seem relatively unimportant compared to the other things on this list, but its effects are undoubtedly very favorable.

As Dale Carnegie pointed out in his book: “A person’s name is the most important word to them”.

Our name is what defines our identity; we have woven this simple word into our minds from the very start of our journey in a way that has a certain connotation for us. It’s the characteristics that distinguish us from others.

By remembering this word, you give the other person the impression that you paid attention to them and to who they are. Moreover, using their name in your sentences makes your speech more appealing to their ears.

So, in case you meet someone or a lot of people at once, try to memorize their names by connecting a characteristic of theirs with it or by simply writing the name(s) down to the notes on your phone.

“A name pronounced is the recognition of the individual to whom it belongs. He who can pronounce my name aright, he can call me, and is entitled to my love and service.”

- Henry David Thoreau

4. Be a Good Listener

This is correlated a lot with our first point as it is the pivot for seeming truly interested in others. Listening to other people talking is an incredible magnetic power that draws people to you because of the stimulating effect it has on them.

It’s a characteristic that makes you seem like a person that is beneficial to talk to as well as makes other people enjoy the conversations they have with you.

Nonetheless, it’s imperative to inform you that this trait also needs to be genuine for its magic to work out. Listening solely to getting to the good side of others without being interested in them won’t cut it.

Become truly invested in the conversation and other people’s affairs, ask open-type questions to show them that you want the discussion to go on, and just listen to them; with your eyes wide open and your mouth closed. This will make you seem like a very pleasant person.

“We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.”

- Diogenes

5. Talk in Terms of Other People’s Interests

Directly continuing from above, an aspect that gives you an extra push towards people liking you is to speak about matters that interest them.

This might be hard sometimes because you have to find out what things they adore so you can confer about them, as well as what they despise so that you can avoid going that way if not necessary.

How is this a characteristic that can make you interesting in other people’s heads though? The best answer to that is by trying to remember the last time you spoke about something you liked.

When we talk about anything we like we feel empowered since it's interesting to us, and someone granting us a chance to translate our interest into words is exciting.

Connect this with listening honestly to other people and you’ve surely got yourself a good spot on their minds.

“Self-interest is the enemy of all true affection.”

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

6. Make the Other Person Feel Important

The last tip on the list is to make people feel important genuinely when in your presence. A surefire way to accomplish that is by combining all the aforementioned tips.

Engage with others genuinely, find what intrigues them, talk to them with sincere interest without taking the lead in the conversation while wearing a wide smile as bright as the sun.

This is one of the best feelings you can provide to someone so don’t be stingy with it; it can light up the day for any person that encounters you. And what it’s best is that it’s free. You will make people happy by providing a very small amount of things; isn’t that a stimulating trait?

“The fastest way to improve your relationships is to make others feel important in every way possible.”

- Brian Tracy

Final Thoughts

Getting people to like you and drawing them to you consists of many simple things to pay attention to and avoid. But, that doesn't mean it’s easy.

As you probably have noticed, for everything to work out perfectly fine you have to be honest and sincere when implementing anything. Lies and deception can get you up to a certain point, but they will unavoidably drag you down at some point.

Sincerely wanting to learn about others and wanting to build a relationship with them can make their day as well as give you the social connection you wish for.

“Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from their relationship.”

- Brene Brown

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This article was originally published on Medium at Harrys Stratigakis