5 Ways to Maintain Healthy Boundaries

If you feel guilty in drawing boundaries, you are not alone.

Most of us struggle with saying no however, over time, this can impact our relationships quite negatively.

Moreover, the mental anguish that one goes through when one keeps trying to please everyone is very damaging.

There are times when we do things others want us to do. As long as there’s willingness from our side, there’s no problem.

When we do things without willingness, we create disturbance within us.

A good way to see if you really wish to do something is to ask yourself, “Am I willing?”

If not it’s alright to politely say “No.” it’s okay to let people know what you will and will not allow.

At the same time, we should not become lazy, rigid or rude while setting boundaries.

We must always do our best and be kind to others.

So, what is a healthy boundary?

Healthy boundaries are those that are set by you in order to protect your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.

They are the limits that you put in place in order to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself and others.

When you have healthy boundaries, you are able to say NO when you need to. You set limits on what you will and will not do, and you are able to stick to those limits.

Having healthy boundaries is an important part of taking care of yourself and your relationships.

Here are some of the basics of boundaries:

1. Do Not Try Too Hard

“I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” ~Bill Cosby

You cannot possibly please everyone with your actions. Not everyone needs to like you all the time!

It’s perfectly okay to stick to your truth and let true connections build.

Setting healthy boundaries is important in any relationship, but sometimes the best way to set a healthy boundary is by not trying too hard.

When we try too hard to control the situation or the other person, we can end up crossing the line into unhealthy territory.

Instead, by simply being honest about our needs and desires, we can set a healthy boundary that will protect both ourselves and the other person.

2. Not Your Responsibility

Everything that happens around you is not your responsibility.

When you bear the burden of other people’s emotions, you tend to become a fixer.

This causes other people to take you for granted.

Drop this idea and just focus on doing your best.

It is not your responsibility to take care of everyone and everything. You are not responsible for other people's happiness or well-being.

You are responsible for yourself and your own happiness.

This was one of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn, and I learned it the hard way.

For years, I wanted to make my partner happy. Feeling as though nothing I did was enough.

Eventually, I felt as though I wasn’t enough. Since she was also an empath, she felt like she wasn’t enough.

What do you get when two people in a relationship feel like neither of them is enough? A recipe for disaster.

It took me years to realize that happiness resides inside. It cannot exist within something external.

When I let go of feeling lack, I got the baggage off my back. It became okay for me to set those boundaries.

Remember: Happiness is an inside job. No one can give it to you, and they can’t receive it from you either.

Setting healthy boundaries is the best way to take care of yourself and ensure that you are able to live a happy and fulfilling life.

3. Be Assertive Yet Kind

Being assertive yet kind is one of the best ways to maintain a healthy boundary.

Assertiveness can help you express your intentions clearly and stand up for yourself.

You can be polite yet firm while explaining what you will and will not accept.

When we are assertive, we are able to communicate our needs and wants clearly.

We are also able to set boundaries with others, which helps to prevent us from being taken advantage of.

On the other hand, being kind allows us to be compassionate and understanding towards others.

It also helps to build trust and rapport with others.

Remember: Promote a positive vibe, but don’t get pushed around. If people think they can take advantage of you, they often will.

When you confidently assert yourself, they’ll think twice and usually play nice.

4. Do Not Be Afraid To Say No

It is okay to say no to things that you do not want to do.

Saying No allows you to choose where you want to put your effort and energy.

Saying No will allow you to, more easily, maintain healthy boundaries. Believe it or not, it is also a form of compassion.

When you say no, you are telling the other person that you have a limit and that they need to respect it.

You’re also respecting them by being your authentic self.

This is important in all relationships, whether they are romantic, platonic, or professional.

One thing people don’t realize about saying No, is that it is actually saying yes.

When you say No, you are saying yes to yourself. You are saying yes to your health. You are saying yes to your sanity.

You are saying yes to your values. You are saying yes to your morals and motivations.

This can improve all of your relations.

Healthy boundaries are essential to a healthy, happy life.

Remember: Be kind and firm while saying NO. Realize that people respect those who respect themselves.

5. Communicate Openly

Communicating openly is a great way to maintain a healthy boundary.

It is important to be able to communicate with your partner about what you are comfortable with and what you are not.

There is a saying that, until you are on the same page with someone you cannot get to the next page.

Effective communication will help to ensure that both partners are on the same page and that there are no surprises.

It is also important to be able to communicate if one partner is feeling uncomfortable with something that the other is doing.

This can help to prevent any hurt feelings or misunderstandings.

The constant conundrum in my past relationships was the lack of communication.

When you cannot fully communicate, you cannot fully appreciate your partner. They, or both of you, may end up feeling unheard and unsatisfied.

This resentment can build up over time with all these missed little moments.

Opportunities that you passed over repeatedly, thinking there would be more chances.

It can start to become resemble a ticking time bomb. Ready to blow at the slightest provocation.

It can build like a bundle of stress causing you to fumble around in frustration.

Communication not only resolves conflict but also strengthens the bond between two individuals.

Sharing how you truly feel will allow the person to understand you and your boundaries better.

Exercise: Try starting a conversation with “I feel…” See what you’re able to heal once things are revealed.

Thanks for reading! I trust that you were able to build a better understanding about healthy boundaries.

Showing compassion for yourself and others by being brave enough to say No. Stand firm in who you are while keeping kindness up to par.