5 Things You Should Never Do at a Funeral

A funeral is one place where you pay your last respects to the dead and console the bereaved family. Having attended a couple of funeral ceremonies in the past I’ve noticed that people have a tendency to do the most awkward things at a funeral. I’ve made a list of things that people should never do at funerals.

1.Do not gossip

You meet most of your family members either at a wedding or at social gatherings. Except for the immediate family members no one else feels the heaviness of the pain of having lost their loved ones.

Hence the not-so-close relatives often resort to gossiping to kill time. With nowhere to go I’ve often fallen prey to such conversations. I’ve noticed that they are so willing to gossip about anything under the sun. And in the process of free talk enemies clear misunderstandings and become friends and at times friends develop misunderstandings and become enemies.

Aunties talk about anything from hair dye to trying out new recipes they found out on YouTube. Uncles talk about money and finally end up reminiscing the nostalgic memories of the food items they had during their childhood. It is natural for people to gossip but funerals are not the place for it.

2. Do not show off your intellectual prowess

Despite the universal truth that we will all die one day, funerals also throw light on another important thing – the intellectual capacity of a person. At funerals there will always be someone who would explain in detail as to what resulted in the death of the person. One may even think that they are a doctor or a specialist.

There will also be people engaged in enlightening their small group of eager listeners with some kind of myths that must have caused the death. They will proceed to explain with graphic details as to how dogs howling at night or crows building nests in the east are early signals indicating the arrival of death. I’ve heard a couple of them.

Though your blood may boil and you will find your anger bubbling up right up to your throat you may just give up in the end thinking it’s best not to reason with illogical minds.

3. Do not make unnecessary remarks about another person’s body.

Often at funerals people make unnecessary remarks about your face and body. It is as if like people have suddenly become health conscious and start pointing out the flaws in your body one by one. And if you have the perfect face devoid of any pimples and if your life seems to be going good then people often make comments making you feel guilty of leading a good life.

If you are more on the plump side there will be remarks about your body weight with tips on exercise and healthy appetites. Though most of the tips don’t really make sense and are mostly cooked up they seem to be unaffected by it and go on and on about it. All are different in their own ways and nobody has any right to body shame another person and make them feel bad.

4. Funerals are not the place to rekindle old contacts.

A funeral is one place where you actually meet the missing members in your family tree. There is a high possibility of meeting your distant family relatives who could not make it to any other function except a funeral. You must have seen them in old family albums. You may also run into some of your distant cousins who live abroad and have flown down for the wake.

However, you will also meet people whom you may have never met in your life but that’s still not an excuse. They will walk right up to you and ask you with no shame if you know them. And they feel deeply offended if ‘no’ is the answer. I have lost count of the numerous times this has happened that I’ve almost got used to it. But one thing which I always wanted to tell them was that of all places funeral is not where you should establish and rekindle old contacts.

5. Last but not the least, do not laugh.

Of all the other reasons this seems to be the most important one. Some people have a tendency to laugh at funerals and I seriously have not been able to comprehend the reason behind it. While some hide their smiles, others let out muffled laughs by tightly covering their mouths with their hands. It’s as if they are witnessing some kind of a comedy show to which only they were invited. It is not good to disrespect the dead. Just like Phil Collins sings we should remember that its just another day for you and me in paradise.

Conclusion

Though there are several other things which you should not do at a funeral these seem to be the most important ones. There will also be some fresh faces who must have had no former contact with neither the dead nor their family members but still in an attempt to make their presence known and a rather unforgettable one they make an entrance with loud wails and cries which only lasts for a few minutes and after making sure the show has been seen and well received, they immediately leave citing reasons they can’t ignore.

Over the years I’ve come to understand that funerals have become more of a farce than a solemn ceremony. I’ve heard the saying that if you can’t do any good for someone at least don’t do anything bad. Similarly, even if you don’t feel genuinely sad over the loss of your loved ones at least don’t mock the ceremony.