4 Steps to Take Your Casual Date to the Next Level

I have lost count on the number of romantic dates I’ve been on, feeling like we are really progressing, only for him to hit me with a buzz, “I just want things to be casual.”

All this while I got carried away by their attention and charisma. I thought they were into me, but no. Guys like to mess around, so they don’t take responsibility if anything when things go south.

But there are times they break their own rules and fall head over heels in love with their casual date. To know if your fling has any chances of stability, there are stages your relationship must pass through, and we will be discussing them in a bit.

How to turn a casual relationship into something more

We all go through complicated daily life. Sometimes, people come up with logical reasons why they can’t emotionally invest or why they need to take a break.

Men are logical about their feelings and actions. Women, on the other hand, like to overanalyze everything.

Whatever reason that prevents a man from being with you is valid. But the problem is when men are honest about why they can’t be with a woman, she takes it as a problem that needs solving.

Sometimes we turn a simple “I just want some space after work” into “So you’re saying you don’t like spending time with me?”

For example, a guy I met over the weekend told me he won’t be able to see me till next weekend because he’s busy. I told him I would stop by his place since I will be free.

The expression on his face made me chew my words. He seemed bothered by my suggestion, so I did not push any further.

Most women would have insisted on having their way and visit anyway. But I chose to honor my integrity, finished my lunch with him, and said my byes.

Men tend to give you mixed signals when they are either not interested and want to keep you as backup or confused about what they want or just want to play around.

This behavior can be very frustrating, and it can become difficult to deal with that hot and cold attitude.

Instead of trying to understand his feeling, prepare your mind to know when an attraction doesn’t lead to compatibility. Allowing your relationship to go through these four stages of a healthy relationship will weed out any mixed signals you get from a man.

You are flattered by each other

At this stage, both of you are attracted to each other. You forgive everything in these early stages.

You overlook each other’s flaws. Maybe they leave their dirty dishes in the sink, but they make you laugh at least daily, so it’s okay.

Most women get carried away at this early stage. They start building fantasies and impose their expectations on the man. And when their expectations fail, they feel heartbroken and disappointed.

Your objective at this stage should be to discover a reliable way to communicate kindly about emotionally charged topics rather than build on your expectations.

There is a connection between you two

When we are attracted to someone, our brains release high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine, making us giddy, energetic, and euphoric.

Sexual chemistry is usually obvious at this stage of a relationship.

Unfortunately, when some couples are attracted to each other in a passionate and physical way, one may want a longer relationship, and the other may be content to keep it strictly physical and short-term.

Navigating this stage with increased awareness, courageous communication, great care, and intention is important.

You are committed to each other

This stage is a deeper, more mature form than in the connection stage. You begin to experience a beautiful balance of love, belonging, fun, power, and freedom.

Commitment is not necessarily about marriage or having kids.

In this stage, you fully surrender to the reality that you and your partner are human and that your relationship will have shortcomings as a result.

Your goal is to build a healthy attachment style. That means you are socially comfortable, trust others, have good self-esteem, and share your feelings with not just yourselves but with friends and family.

You are compatible

Once you’ve learned how to fight in a way that both of you win, you move to the stability stage.

You’re fine with your partner being different from you at this final stage. You both have clear boundaries, and you need to learn mutual respect. If you don’t, the hurtful patterns of your power struggle will keep haunting you.

When you have truly resolved your differences and are on the same page, the thrill of being loved returns.

Remember that all growth requires change and getting out of your comfort zone. You can continue to grow together by consciously creating new shared experiences.

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About author

Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.

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