3 Signs Your Relationship Is Toxic

by Alyssa Holley 8 months ago in dating

From Personal Experience

3 Signs Your Relationship Is Toxic

As sad as it is to say, a lot of men and women as a whole have been in toxic relationships. Not only are toxic relationships bad for trust, but they also wear down a person mentally, physically, and emotionally. There are so many kinds of relationships that can easily be singled out and put into their own categories, but I’m gonna go ahead and list the top with three signs that your relationship is TOXIC.

**Just as a side note, these are all from personal experience with my last relationship which was highly abusive and toxic, and if you want to hear more about that and how I got away from it, I will write about that as well.**

So the first sign is ABUSE; it does not matter what kind of abuse—it could be sexual, physical, emotional, and mental abuse! They're all forms of abuse. Now, a lot of people are the kind of person who would just easily brush off any kind of mental abuse, whether it’s just a snarky remark here and there or something as silly as you know, repeatedly being called crazy or anything along those lines. The saddest part when it comes to abuse is not a lot of people will leave! They will find an excuse, no matter if it’s the silliest excuse that they ever heard. They will try to cover up what’s actually happening because they don’t want to be alone or they don’t wanna lose this said person from their life, and so, they will cover up every single form of abuse that is given to them. This is kind of where mental and emotional abuse become a big factor because the abuser will make you think that nobody’s going to believe you.

"I’m the nicest person there is! Why would I be such a monster that you make me out to be?!" Or, "You know, no one’s ever going to want you because you’re this type of person, and you’re lucky that I’m even still here!" They will do anything that they can to make you feel awful.

The next sign that your relationship is toxic is if your partner is very controlling, and I am not just talking about if they say something like, "Yeah, just text me when you get home and let me know you're OK!" I’m talking about full on crazy! My ex used to do this thing where if I did not text him back within a certain amount of seconds (yes, I mean seconds!!), he would go crazy and he would accuse me of cheating, lying, and ask me who I was talking to. If I was busy talking to my brother or my dad, then he would still flip out and basically say that he was more important than my family!

If somebody is making you become someone that’s not you, and you can even tell yourself, you’re acting a little different, you’re not the same person that you used to be, something is very wrong. It is okay to make self-changes, where you say, "Hey, I need to work on this!" and then you do it. When you become somebody else for another person, because that’s the person that they want you to be, that’s another form of controlling. They’re controlling you to make you become someone else.

The last thing that I’m going to talk about is anger. There’s going to be two parts to this. The first one is if your partner is just constantly angry, they're lashing out, they're saying hurtful things, and then turning around and apologizing. They're very wishy-washy. That’s gonna be a big red flag because you don’t do that to somebody that you supposedly love. You don’t say the harshest things that you can possibly think of just to hurt them. And if your partner does this, if they have slowly been doing something like this, or they’re constantly making you feel bad—obviously, there is something wrong if you are walking on eggshells.

The second part of this is if you feel angry all the time. If your partner is just wearing down on you every single day. You’re just filled with anger, you know you’re not happy anymore, you’re not content with your relationship, and you’re just bottling up all this anger. That’s not a good sign at all, because eventually, you’re going to snap and if your partner already is showing all the signs of being very toxic and abusive, it could honestly turn up really bad!

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Alyssa Holley

I love writing! I wanna be able to share my experiences with anyone and everyone and maybe help some people along the way!  

See all posts by Alyssa Holley