1988

2nd January 1988

Didn’t get up until 11.30am, got dressed and watched Going Live.

We went into town and saw Natalie Watson in her new leather jacket.

Went in 3 decorating shops and finally got some wallpaper for the kitchen. Had fish & chips in the Mermaid cafe.

When we got home, Mum started to get ready to go to my Grandma’s for dinner with Brian, Sandra and Tony. Me and Nanette were very angry that she didn’t invite us... but we had a good time watching Top of the Pops.

Went to bed and cut pictures of nice men out of magazines.

12am - Mum isn’t home yet!

January 3rd

Mum finally got home at 1am and I told her off for being so late.

We had to take all of the furniture out of the kitchen and I nearly broke my back in doing so.

For our big Sunday dinner, we had bacon, tomatoes and a tin or beans with sausages. It made a nice change!

I taped my favourite songs from the Top 40 and had a nice long bath. I came down to find Mum asleep so I got some Cocopops.

Me and Nanette went to bed and picked nice hairstyles from the Kays Catalogue.

Had more Cocopops at 10:30pm

January 4th

I didn’t get up until 8:10am and quickly started to get ready. Mum seemed to be in quite a good mood because she helped me find some socks. When I got to school, everyone said how much they liked my new coat, asked where it was from and how much.

I got home to find the Kays Spring/Summer catalogue so me and Nanette looked at that until 5:10. Mum got in at quarter past and she didn’t half go mad when she saw the mess. We helped for a while, then I went upstairs to watch Neighbours. Mum sent Nanette to bed and she begged me to stay with her so I took my TV into her room and watched Moonlighting. In the end, I went downstairs, filled my hot water bottle and got in my own bed and cried all night. Thinking of Chris Lowe cheered me up a bit.

January 6th

English was a laugh as usual. Mr Gibson called Laura a clown. I told Kez about what Neil Tennant said in the Daily Mirror, ie; "If you’re poor and you haven’t got a job then bananas to you mate!".

Later that night, I told Brian that Roger Whittaker sings very boring songs and he said that the Pet Shop Boys are boring. I don’t think I like Brian anymore.

January 7th

Had a salad sandwich for my dinner and two pieces of cake. Mr Clancy was away so Mrs Cooper (wife of Colonel Cooper) took us for art. She really liked my drawing and made me draw a miner for the rest of the lesson.

I got very mad because Sarah Willow told me that the Pet Shop Boys were gay!!!

When I got home I decided to do my maths until I discovered no pencil case. I am very upset because it had some very lovely things in it.

Goodnight. I miss my pencil case!!! Hope I find it tomorrow.

January 8th

I think Chris Lowe will look like Arthur Hitchcock when he gets old and fat.

January 9th

Got up at 10:30am and hurried to get ready to go into town.

I bought: a pencil case - 49p , a wind-up pencil - 19p , Just Seventeen - 50p , Pencil sharpener - 25p , 6 rubbers - 55p , 5 thin pencils - 85p , 3 fluorescent pens - 65p , black, blue & red biros - 65p , ruler - 19p

I’ve drawn a box of cornflakes, a mug that says “Melanie” on it and a carton of Del Monte orange juice for my art homework.

January 13th

The phone woke me up. It was Neil Tennant inviting me and Chris Lowe to a party. He said that Wet Wet Wet, U2, Johnny Hates Jazz and Curiosity Killed the Cat would be there.

Chris made me some nice breakfast which wasn’t that nice and then we went back to bed. Got up and got ready for the party.

Only joking. Today was too boring to write about.

January 16th

Mum said I didn’t have to go into town because I was full of cold.

Mum and Nanette went at 1pm and I had 2 cups of tea, lots of biscuits, a hot lemon and a Mars bar. I taped myself singing along to Belinda Carlisle and Tiffany. I watched Footloose and Mum and Nanette came back with my ‘Smash Hits’ and my fruit salad chews. Mum went out so me and Nanette sang along to some more songs.

Carrot Confidential and The World According to Smith and Jones was on.

July 24th

Went to Blackpool with the twins and Kirsty! I have never laughed as much in my whole life.

Firstly because of me and Laura getting absolutely drenched on one side of bodies on the log flume. Then when Laura got scared and peed her pants on ‘The Avalanche’. Then there were the donkeys and Laura’s went absolutely bonkers and took her all over the place except for where it was supposed to be going. Then Laura got stuck in a turn style. On the way back one boy leaned all the way out of his car window to wave at us and two boys mooned at us.

July 25th

Turn to Monday 1st August for the night that changed my life and from then on I couldn’t fancy any other boys.

August 1st

Went to Japanese Whispers with Laura, and this boy tickled under my chin as I walked past. He introduced himself as James Bridger and asked me to go outside for sex. Of course I said no because I had to take Laura home and because I didn’t know him.

August 2nd

I want to have sex with James Bridger as he is the most gorgeous person in the whole world.

August 5th

Went to town with Laura and we spotted James. He had a black leather jacket on and looked absolutely gorgeous! Me and Laura stood on the balcony where 'Cordon Bleu' (frozen food shop) is for an hour in the wind and rain just looking at James. Then we went in Littlewoods cafe where we could see him from the window but we moved tables when I accidentally pulled the curtains off the rail.

Went home and watched Valerie.

August 10th

James!!!

August 29th

Sarah Collings has got a new navy blue swing coat which is lovely and I want one.

No one realises that I really love James. Everyone just thinks I fancy him like I did with Craig Barnet or Scott Britton. I fancied Scott Britton for four years but I didn’t love him. I really love James and I always will!!!

September 2nd

I found out where James lives. I walked past his house but didn’t see him.

September 4th

I haven’t seen James for 2 weeks and I feel like killing myself.

September 5th

I wrote Melanie 4 James all over my pencil case and books.

September 9th

Sarah Collings came into our English room today and sat next to me thinking it was Geography and then walked out again after she’d turned redder than the reddest red.

Mum and Brian have gone out and Prince’s concert Lovesexy is on. I’m taping it as I’ve heard it’s very rude.

Later... Prince is disgusting!!!

September 10th

I’ve seen James!!! In town with his jeans on and his black leather jacket on. It’s been exactly three weeks since I saw him last. My good god!!!

Had needlework today. We had to draw some dried leaves in pencil. Then we had to draw some more dried leaves and paint them. Then we had to start a collage where we had to make some dried leaves out of old bits of wool, and for homework we have to draw some more dried leaves. I have come to the conclusion that Mrs Walshaw is totally obsessed with dried leaves!

September 23rd

We wrecked the toilets at school today.

September 26th

We have all been banned from using the toilets.

September 27th

Went in a pet shop and tried to blow budgies off their perches.

Saw James on Huddersfield Road at 12:58. I hadn’t seen him for two weeks and two days. He was wearing jeans, a red sweatshirt and a grey mac. I had a fit.

P.S. I am still having a fit.

8th September

Went into town with mum today to get a new coat. It was £39.99 from Etam. While I was in there, my Mum sold my old coat to a complete stranger for £15.

I have found out James’ phone number, it is 287066

16th September

My Auntie Jean read into my future and she says I am going to have 7 important men in my life. One called Rick, another called Shaun and one called Paul. One plays the trumpet and has very nice teeth, one is extremely rich and one has blonde hair. I might phone James and ask if he plays the trumpet.

21st October

Me and Laura walked up Honeywell Lane so we could see James' house. It is a massive posh bungalow. He does not smoke cigarettes, he smokes cigars!! What a man!!

He is also a slot-machine addict.

October 26th

Nanette fancies our half-cousin. I think it’s disgusting if you ask me.

October 27th

I have decided to be a yuppie and wear dead grown-up clothes and use very long words from now on. I’m not going to swear, get drunk, shout or act stupid. An old man said I have very good manners todays because I let him get on the bus before me.

Facts I have learned about boys:

(1) When a boy you like tickles you under the chin, he knows you fancy him and he thinks you’re cute but he doesn’t fancy you.

(2) When a boy pulls your hair, him and his friends just like irritating girls.

(3) If a boy just stares at you for about a year but never tries to talk to you, he is just a pervert and should be ignored.

(4) If a boy winks at you, he thinks you fancy him and he think he is god’s gift to women even if he really is the ugliest boy on earth.

(5) When you send a boy a Valentines card, don’t put your name on it but give him a clue as to who you are, otherwise it’s a complete waste of money.

(6) If you have sex with your half-cousin and you get pregnant, it is very possible that the baby will be mentally or physically disabled.

October 30th

I have missed The Clothes Show... AGAIN!!! Watched Smash Hits Poll Winners Party and Glen Mediros won worst haircut and worst single.

November 9th

Cut my fringe.

November 10th

Sarah Collings keeps laughing at my fringe. I wouldn’t mind but when she cut hers it was worse than mine! The twins have had their hair permed and it looks lovely!

Forged a letter excusing me from games and instead of going to computers, me and Sarah stayed in the canteen but Mr Bone saw us and now we have been banned from using the canteen for a whole week!

I hate Sally Reed. She told Mr Bone where we were when we should have been in computer studies. Stupid fat cow. Stupid fat slagggy cow!!!

November 17th

I am a vegetarian.

Natalie Watson cut my fringe in needlework and made it look even worse and I didn’t even think that was possible.

November 19th

Went to town with Mum and got some new boots. Mum went mad because I wouldn’t eat my meat (because I’m still a vegetarian). She was mad and hasn’t spoken to me since. She has also hidden my new boots.

November 20th

Still can’t find my new boots.

Still a vegetarian.

Still madly in love with James.

Me and the twins have been thinking of lines to use on our parents for if they won’t let us go to Chris Parkinson’s party: Well who can you trust if you can’t even trust your own daughter? and All my friends think our house is a prison 'cause you won’t ever let me go out!

November 30th

My mum told me that when I was about 5, I got a letter from The Royal College of Art telling me to apply as soon as I was old enough. I’ve written a letter to them asking about details on how to apply. If I get in there I’ll be SO rich.

December 4th

Snotty Cliff Richard is at number 1 with his stupid pathetic Christmas song.

December 7th

At school today we watched a film about a man with AIDS. He was gorgeous!!!

I haven’t seen James for two weeks and four days and I’m going out of my mind with worry that he’s had an accident and is dead or something.

December 10th

That was the best party ever. I was snogging Dave Logan all night and then this other boy snogged me and stuck his tongue straight down my throat.

I’ve gone off James.

December 12th

Got a very sore throat and can’t swallow any food.

December 13th

My throat is very very bad and I can’t even swallow my own spit now. Woke up at 1am with very bad throat, ears and head.

December 15th

My throat is KILLING and I cannot speak or eat or even move my neck cos it’s all swollen (see diagram). Very bad earache too.

December 16th

Doctor came this morning and said I had very bad tonsillitis or glandular fever but he couldn’t tell without a blood test but then he said I was not fit to have one. He said I hadn’t to eat anything except soup and milky drinks. My Grandma heard all this but still made me potatoes, peas and fish for my tea and then got very mad when I didn’t eat it.

December 19th

Brookside was good today because Billy’s mother-in-law was causing trouble with Sheila, and Gerard at the hairdressers tried it on with Tracey again and Billy’s got a letter from Doreen saying that she might come back for Christmas. The Corkhill family are all very exciting!

9pm - Everyone will be kissing James at Japanese Whispers by now.

December 20th

Sarah phoned to tell me that James was at Japanese Whispers and was kissing just about every girl there. Dave Logan was there too and she told him that he gave me glandula fever.

December 25th

What I got for Christmas: Filofax, radio alarm clock, teddy bear, two jumpers, shirt, pyjamas, tongs, make up and brushes, smelly set, nail varnishes, Pet Shop Boys tape, felt tips, coloured pencils, lead pencils, Tipex and thinners, ruler, socks, pants, gloves, Malteasers, Quality Street, a home perm, 2 sketchpads, a gold chain and earrings, a photo album and a new diary.

Goodnight.