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13 Signs She Feels Neglected by You

No, your relationship isn't "fine" if she feels neglected by you—even if you're happy with the status quo. These warning signs suggest you're in worse trouble than you'd admit.

By Sasha KonikovoPublished 5 years ago 9 min read
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"Oh, my love, my darling. I've hungered for your touch... a long, lonely time. Time goes by so slowly and time can do so much. Are you still mine?"—The Righteous Brothers, "Unchained Melody"

Back when I was younger, I honestly believed that I'd have a soulmate. I dreamt he'd let me be a stay-at-home wife. I dreamt that he would sweep me off my feet, romance me, and let me cook elaborate meals for him and his friends. I dreamt that I'd meet him young, and marry young, and it'd all be great.

Yes, being married was my life goal.

Stupid as it sounds, I really believed a Prince Charming would somehow be there for me. Then, reality hit. After dozens of failed relationships, I realized it was not going to happen. I just wanted a spouse so bad.

Out of sheer desperation and loneliness, I settled with my husband. And now, I regret it. I shouldn't have settled; or, more likely, I should probably just walk away with minimal damage being done to my finances.

My husband is a nice guy, but he's not romantic. He barely cleans. He doesn't care about things that matter in my life. He doesn't want to go out. I literally have to beg for romance, and most of the time, he doesn't bother.

Honestly, I feel lonelier with him than I did when I was single. I didn't even know that was possible; my life was already painfully solo. So chances are, I'm going to end up leaving him the moment another guy actually pulls out the romance—if one ever does, anyway.

I've all but stopped asking for people to reach out to me, and these days, that includes the man I'm supporting. I'm slowly preparing to leave him and detach. That makes me a walkaway wife in the making, and frankly, when I leave him, I'll make it a point of cataloguing everything he did to make me leave.

Yeah, I'm neglected. And he's going to end up being the one to pick up the pieces. Want to avoid being him? Then you should take a look at your girl to see if she feels neglected by you, and then fix those issue before it's too late.

Speaking as someone who will most likely walk away from her partner, here are the biggest warning signs to watch for.

She's begged, pleaded, and cried for attention before.

I've done this too many times to count, and still remain shocked that guys don't understand how serious it is. It always turns into my husband saying he'll change, acknowledging that he messed up, then eventually settling back into his old ways.

Here's a hint: If your wife or girlfriend is literally crying in front of you, pay attention to her. She's literally begging you for attention because she feels neglected by you—to the point that it's actually hurting her self-esteem and dignity. Ladies, if guys still don't change their ways after these efforts, it's a sign he's just not that into you.

She stopped trying to sleep with you.

Your sexual activity can be a very reliable gauge to determine how healthy and happy your relationship is. Though there are other issues that can cause a low libido, such as hormone problems or body issues, the truth is that most dead bedrooms are caused by emotional problems.

A woman who feels neglected by her spouse will first start to initiate sex more often. If she keeps feeling rejected, she'll eventually stop—and will start looking for someone else.

Fix the emotional neglect, and you might get some nookie.

You're getting the feeling she resents you.

When you feel emotionally neglected by people, the most common reactions are anger and resentment. This is doubly true if the way you've been neglecting her involves helping out with the housework or showing her you care.

In most cases, guys will hear comments from their wives that show their resentment creeping through. For example, a man who neglects his girlfriend or wife's pleas for housework help will hear her angrily saying things like, "Ugh, never mind. I'll do it!"

She regularly points out other guys who want to sleep with her.

Most women are very well-aware when there are other guys who want to date them or sleep with them. Usually, when they're with their significant others, they will be tactful and not bring it up.

But, what happens if your wife or girlfriend brings up male attention on the regular? It's probably not because she's tactless. It's because she feels neglected by you and is trying to make you jealous.

For a lot of girls, this is their way of saying, "Pay attention to me, or I'll leave you for someone else who will."

You've noticed that she's started to drift away and started building another support network.

Okay, let's say that she's begged and pleaded for you to do things with her. Let's say you've caught her multiple times crying in the bathroom, or talking to others about how she feels neglected by you.

Then, something changed. She stopped trying to tell you what she wants. She's now reaching out to others in her circle, and when she wants to have emotional support, you're not the one she reaches to.

At this point, she's assuming neglect to be a part of life with you. So, rather than just rotting away waiting for a change of pace, she's making sure other people meet her needs. This way, you can't hurt her anymore.

If it's gotten to this point, you should also be aware that she's probably making preparations to leave. It's highly unlikely that you will be able to salvage this relationship once this starts to happen.

She's stopped announcing when she comes and goes.

In a relationship, it's common for girls or wives to give their partners a "heads up" when they're going out for groceries or hitting the spa. After all, it's normal for partners to wonder where their significant others are.

Sometimes, what your girlfriend or wive doesn't say is as important as what she does say. In the case of her whereabouts, her silence suggests that she may feel neglected by you. In her mind, it doesn't matter if you know where she's going because you don't care enough to ask.

She cheated.

Cheating, for the most part, is not linked to being neglected. It can happen to great couples, and studies actually back that up. However, I'd be lying if I didn't say that some people cheat because they were no longer getting their needs met in a relationship.

There's a certain point where partners stop caring about keeping promises to their significant others. If she feels neglected by you to the point that she no longer cares if the relationship continues, she will eventually start seeking love elsewhere.

If your girlfriend recently cheated on you, take a look at how you behaved. Did she ask for attention and romance she never received? Maybe you only have yourself to blame.

You stopped caring about yourself.

Women often feel neglected when they find themselves becoming their partner's caretakers. Have you stopped trying to get a job? Gained weight? Do you sit around and do little more than play video games?

This kind of neglect on yourself will hurt her ability to feel cared for. Think about it. When you act like "dead weight" in a relationship, you're burdening her with your needs without giving her anything in return.

She's not your caretaker, nor is she your mom. If you stop caring about your own self-maintenance or about pulling weight in your relationship, you will end up making her feel neglected—and eventually, she'll get sick of your shit.

There's something else you keep prioritizing over her.

I've heard many, many men claim that they felt neglected because they were always put in second place to kids. Eventually, the men in question end up cheating on their wives or leaving because they could no longer tolerate the neglect.

Believe it or not, there are women out there who feel the exact same way because of their husband's priorities. The big difference with neglected wives, though, is that they often feel like they take a backseat to a man's job or video game habits.

Don't let your woman become an Xbox widow. It will not bode well for you.

She's been making remarks about her body.

One huge difference between men and women is how they react to rejection—which, in this case, is the emotion that neglect causes.

Men, when they are neglected or rejected, tend to externalize their hurt. This is why guys lash out when women turn them down. It's also why guys tend to get explosively angry.

Women, on the other hand, have a tendency to turn their anger inwards when dealing with rejection. They may start hating themselves more, or blaming themselves. If you notice that she's been making more negative comments about her looks, it could be that she feels neglected by you and blames her appearance for it.

Lately, there's been more fighting going on than usual.

Fights are never a good sign, guys.

At the very least, frequent fighting means that you have some serious problems in your relationship that need to be sussed out. At worst, she's probably trying to come up with a "final straw" that gives her a clear conscience to break up with you. You should leave your relationship if it gets to this point.

She's literally told you she feels neglected by you.

When a woman says she feels unloved, neglected, or just downright ignored, listen to her. She's not mincing words at this point. Most women will be very slow to openly admit that they feel uncared for—and even if you're with someone who has no problem being assertive, that's still something to take note of.

If she's actually broaching the subject with you, it's time to sit down and listen. Otherwise, she's going to be packing her bags.

Whenever she asks you to do something for her, you reply "later" and then never do it.

"Fix the sink."

"Later."

"Can we have a date night tonight?"

"Later."

"Could we please do something? Anything?"

"Later."

Does this sound like exchanges you regularly have? If so, chances are she feels neglected by you. It may seem like those little nags mean nothing right now, but trust me, women don't like having to nag just so they can get their spouses to do something for them.

If you really can't be arsed to do anything for her, or to even pull your weight in a relationship, ask yourself why you're with her. It may be best that you both part ways.

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About the Creator

Sasha Konikovo

Born in the Ukraine and currently a citizen of New York City, Sasha Konikovo has become obsessed with makeup, fashion, and anything that keeps her svelte figure looking sharp. She hopes to marry a billionaire and have a lifestyle like Paris Hilton soon enough.

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Comments (1)

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  • Donald Murphyabout a year ago

    Dang lol this is not helpful. Not every result of this is the man not giving a care in the world ab his partner. I came looking simply for other things I can do because I DO care but she doesn’t see that I do. The guys who don’t care wouldn’t be reading articles on how to help them at 3:30am lol. Also as a side note, nothing excuses cheating lol… coming from a person who has been cheated on with the same girl I’m trying to help, that was a little distasteful. And by a little I mean a lot.

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