10 Signs You’re Being Idealized By A Narcissist.

People with narcissism, more specifically covert narcissists, depend on admiration from others for self-esteem. They have grandiose ideas about themselves but need a constant supply of flattery from outside sources to boost their grandiosity and hide their insecurities.

This deep and hidden insecurity means that even when they’re in a relationship, they will likely seek further supply of flattery elsewhere, eventually discarding relationships for their next source of supply. So, one clear sign of narcissistic relationship dependency is a history of multiple partners and going from one relationship to the next with no break.

While some of us can identify with a few of these signs, ourselves falling too fast for someone, most of us learn better ways of navigating dating while people with narcissistic tendencies follow this same pattern in every relationship.

1. They loved you the minute they saw you.

Professing their love for you too early is a surefire sign you’re next on the victim list. They tell you they love you, and they’ve never felt this way about anyone before. You can guarantee every partner or attempt at a partner heard precisely the same thing.

2. Rushing into intimacy.

Whether it takes far too much alcohol, as it did in my case, or any one of the other signs, they will want to bed you well before you know them. It is much easier to force you into a relationship if they’ve connected with you intimately.

3. Future Faking.

Similar to the first sign, they’re rushing you off to the alter or planning your future children, making plans about your future together that they have no intention of fulfilling. Malignant narcissists will be living with their parents, their discretely discarded current partner that’s been trying to leave, or in a temporary situation and will need you to provide them with their next temporary home.

4. Mirroring.

We naturally draw to people who share similarities to ourselves. They will empathise with you and any of your life stories, imitating you in every way, from common phrases, even the style of clothes you wear to life goals and everything in between. Mirroring establishes commonality and solidifies companionship.

5. Flattery.

You will be the best person they’ve ever met, they love everything about you, and they will make sure everyone close to you believes this too. So even your close friends and family members will struggle to accept the narcissist is not who they’ve pretended to be when you do try to leave.

6. Data mining.

They will try to get as much information as they can about you from you and everyone who knows you. Narcissists will use any negative information they’ve gathered about you against you during the devaluation phase and even after the discard.

7. Excessive gifting.

You will be bombarded with offers of money, gifts, and they will want to do everything for you. They will be the hero you’ve been needing even if you’ve been doing fine before they came along. They will find faults, most likely create defects, and then ‘fix’ them.

8. Comparing you to their ex.

You will be so much better at this, that, and the other thing where their ex was ‘apparently’ failing. It does not bode well if your new partner is overly critical of their exes, especially within days of meeting them. You will be the next ex they’re complaining about. Any ex talk is unnecessary.

9. Oversharing.

Oversharing follows well with the above. If they have a host of stories where they’re always the hero or victim, then they’re showing no sign of learning about themselves from their accounts. Covert narcissists may feign guilt or shame about past incidents to gather sympathy but always twist the story to blame elsewhere.

10. Overprotective/Isolation.

They will be so busy ‘protecting’ you that you become isolated. Overprotection helps to isolate you from others who might know you well enough to recognize that you’re not quite the same. It also helps to make victims stay because they feel indebted to the narcissist.

It can be challenging to identify your next toxic relationship, particularly when you’re in the throes of the honeymoon phase and everything seems fine. They’re so good to you that they couldn’t possibly be a problem.

The phrase that nobody’s perfect couldn’t be more accurate when it comes to a relationship with a narcissist. The right person will have some faults and be comfortable talking about them and working on them.

Best of luck avoiding the narcissist’s trap.❤