The Woman in the Mirror

She shouldn’t have come to that party. She shouldn’t have dressed as though she were a wizard, confident and surrounded by a group of loyal friends. What was she thinking? Did she think that her little wand would sweep away all her fears and bring her to a magical kingdom where no one would see her for who she is? Who was she kidding? Masks and costumes work only for the young who could still fit into the kind of heroes they wanted to be. Past a certain age, masks reveal more about the things you wanted to hide. And there are countless things she’d rather hide!

But out of so many people who could have seen, why did Ronald have to be there? Why did he have to walk in like a handsome vampire who could still sweep her off of her feet? He saw her, and who knows what went through his mind? Perhaps he was grateful they broke up then. Years ago when it was not yet so evident what kind of failure she would eventually be. He saw through her right then, and he did not like what he saw. Neither would he be satisfied now with the woman he sees.

Why would he choose a woman stuck in her boring career, wasting her true potential, tormented by a past she could no longer escape? She used to be on top of her class, aiming for a bright future, but she messed up everything in the end.

Oh, how she wanted to get away from his gaze. She wanted to pretend as though she has not seen him, as though she has not seen them! Yes, Ronald and that young woman he brought along as if to show the world a trophy to top all of his achievements. A young woman with a bright future and a man who would be there for her.

Like always, however, she exposed herself just when she wanted to escape them. In her haste to get out of the room, her long gown got caught into something, swept away the candles and props on a table and left her looking more miserable than she ever thought she’d be.

“Dinah, is that you?”

And she didn’t need to hear another word from him before she decided to run away from it all. Away from the crowd that could already be laughing at her folly. Away from that young woman who could already be pitying her. Away from him whose eyes she’d dare not see.

But just as she thought she was already far from her troubles, thunder and lightning met her outside. “Great, just in time for Halloween!” Dinah couldn’t help but cry to herself when it rained. She was soon drenched in her flimsy costume, her wizard hat soaking wet, her already smudged makeup mingling with her tears.

How was she even able to get home after all that? She dare not remember. Suffice it to say that things have only gotten worse by the minute. She couldn’t even find her key to open her front door. When she finally found a spare key she hid beneath one of her broken flower pots, power was cut off from the surrounding area. Even her phone’s battery suddenly ran out.

Had she been one who believed in the supernatural, she would have been afraid. She would have thought somebody put a curse on her and made certain she’d have the worst day of her life. Didn’t a black cat even cross her path before she opened her gate?

But she has long lost that sense of horror, that sense of something beyond the life she’s living in. Not even the howling wind in her garden could send chills down her spine. In pitch blackness, she calmly searched for a candle, unafraid of monsters or any kind of spirits she may find.

Why be afraid? For Dinah, there are no ghosts. If there were ghosts, her mother who died long ago would have visited her to console her. If there were ghosts, her sister who was murdered and raped by a gang of drug addicts would have haunted those men and exposed them for who they were.

And now, holding a flickering candle in front of the mirror, she couldn’t help but see the face she’s most terrified to see. Without her makeup and her mask, her face says it all.

Who is that woman who always seemed to be starving for love? That is the face. The face looking back at her now.

Funny how hard it is to imagine a different image. How it’s almost impossible to see herself with a man by her side. A man who could see beyond her scars. A man who could put his hands over her shoulders, assuring her she would never be alone again.

But just as she was trying to wipe away her tears, she saw it. No, it couldn’t be. There are no ghosts! And yet, there he was behind her, his pale hands holding her shoulders, his gaunt eyes staring at her with warmth.

Was he just an illusion coming from her anxious thoughts? A dream that leaped from her overactive mind?

She blinked. Again and again, she closed and opened her eyes.

And he was still there. The woman in the mirror is alone no more.