Journal Of An Immortal - Part 2

Wednesday – December 30, 2020

These nightmares will not go away. I feel I tried almost everything to get rid of them. I tried to ignore my cryptic past. I tried to binge-watch comedies and romance. I tried to read uplifting books. I tried to listen to classical music. I tried to meditate. I tried to paint beautiful artwork. I tried to do fun things. But they do not seem to work. These nightmares get more darker and more intense. I thought as years go by, the nightmares would subside. But I am wrong…

Hopefully, no one in this apartment building will know about my nightmares. I know I have been here for only two months, but I really want to move out now. The neighbors in this small apartment can be…difficult. Mr. and Mrs. McCormick are the elderly couple to my right. They have been married for over forty years. I thought this couple who have been married for this long would have a successful and happy marriage. These two argue almost every night over the most pathetic things. One time, they argued over who played the best Joker. Mr. McCormick thought it was Jack Nicholson while Mrs. McCormick thought it was Heath Ledger. Personally, I think it is Mark Hamill from the animated series. I mean voice acting is kind of like acting, right? I think Mark Hamill has a nice voice anyway. Besides, I love him in Star Wars. Anyway, these two got into a heated argument over that. I despise the fact that the walls in the apartment building are thin. I would not be surprised if all the tenants hear them. If that is the case, what if the folks in the building hear me scream when I wake up in the middle of the night? I do not want these people to investigate. Then, there’s Franky Brentwood – my perverted neighbor to my left. When I first met this guy, I knew he was trouble. I could tell by the way he was gawking at me. The man is so aggressive. When we shook hands, he squeezed my hand and was reluctant to let go. Like once a week, he would invite me over his place even after I lied to him about having a boyfriend. I had to get this creep to back off. I try to be nice whenever I run into him, but I would rather avoid him as much as possible. In fact, I would rather avoid everyone in this building as much as possible – especially Miss Cohen who lives directly across the hall from me. I thought the pervert was bad, but I would rather deal with him than Miss Cohen. Now, she is awful. She is one of those two-faced, nosy neighbors who always gets into everyone’s business. She’s a real talker. I learned a lot of secrets about most of the tenants in the building because of her…more than I need to know, more than I want to know. When I first met her, she was sweet but very inquisitive about my life. I only revealed a few bits and pieces about my new life – the life of Madeline Kelley. The night after, she stopped by with freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. She wanted to come in and get to know me. I was trying to avoid that. As tempted as it was to accept the cookies, it would have been wrong of me to accept them and not invite her in. I knew her deceiving scheme all along. So, I told her that I was allergic to chocolate and that I was sick. Now, I must be mindful that Madeline Kelley is allergic to chocolate. As time progressed, I learned that Ms. Cohen was a little harder to avoid than the other tenants. She was almost everywhere. I would run into her in the halls almost every time. I noticed that she was getting a little more aggressive with her questions about my background. It was almost as if she was a cruel detective interrogating me for information. There was no way I was letting her in on my dark secrets. The only person I have no issues with is Don, the property manager. He is very nice and so hilarious. But still…I cannot get close to anyone here. I must not be attached to anyone. There is a part of me who does not want to break my lease here. I do like Don, and I do not wish to disappoint him. It is a good thing that I only signed a one-year lease. Only ten more months to go.

I will say that when I relocate, it will be to another apartment in New Hope, Pennsylvania. I like New Hope. It is a great town. Minus the slight misery of having troublesome neighbors, it appears to be a safe town. It feels like that anyway. The name is very fitting. I am having a new start in life, a new hope for a better life even though it is only temporary. I am hopeful that he will not find me here. I am not even sure if Dr. Clarke is still out there and looking for me. For all I know, he could be dead, and that would be a dream come true for me. Even if he is still alive, I am feeling optimistic that I am safe here in New Hope. For 160 years, I have been successful of hiding from this monster. My nightmares may be darker as the new year comes, but my future is starting to look brighter.

Last night, I had a horrible nightmare about him again. What he did to my baby brother was ungodly. I was 23 years old, and Benjamin was only 14 at the time. His blood was all over the library. He was unrecognizable when I found him. I should have protected him. What Dr. Clarke did to Benjamin still haunts me – even in my nightmares. It was bad enough that Dr. Clarke killed my parents. But Benjamin? Why him? Why my baby brother? Samuel was all I had left. Thank God Samuel and I were able to escape that night. Even though he was five years younger than me, I still had to watch him grow old and die as I remained 23 years old. Samuel died of a terrible illness, but my suffering was much greater than his. After I lost my last immediate family member, I did not want to live. However, I knew my family would want me to move on instead of ending my life. Many times, I wish I did end my life. But how would that be possible? What would be the best way to kill me? Maybe the best way to kill me is Dr. Clarke. But I do not want to face the one who slaughtered my family. Besides, if I ever meet him again, he will never kill me. He never wanted to. But I wish he did on our wedding night…

Sincerely,

Josephine Willis