Infinity Wheel: Chapter One

It was a few minutes before three p.m. on a hot, weedy August day. The yellow xoysia grass baked its alien shapes into the retreating green fescue. Gnats swarmed around the damp dresses on Miss Miriam’s clothesline. The sun put out a hard radiance that slowed down everyone and everything. Even the fat, mottled spider in Miss Miriam’s porch lattice just sat there with legs still.

Inez Pfannkuchen sat in the paint-flaked porch swing, watching the spider and waiting her turn. She fanned herself with the wilted music sheets. From inside Miss Miriam’s house, little Whately Dufrang plunked away slowly at yellowed piano keys. Poor Weety, thought Inez. Miss Miriam gave him lessons for free because everyone knew Weety’s mama didn’t care about him. Weety was only 6 and white as a ghost. Miss Miriam called him a “toe-head” which Inez learned meant he just had white hair. He had had leukemia when he was tiny, always been puny. Doctors, nurses, state welfare stepped in for a while, but once he was home from the hospital, Weety’s mama gave up and left him with his Aunt.

Inez listened to his awful playing and caught the light laughter of Miss Miriam in the background. She gently corrected him, placing Weety’s wormy little thumbs in the right place. He would play the notes again. It got no better. She wondered if Weety were eleven like her, if he would be able to play as well as she could. Her next heartbeat sent a passing thought to her mind that Weety might never make it to eleven.

“All righty Inez, come on in and set up.” Miss Miriam swung open the screen door.

“Hey, Miss Miriam. Hey, Weety.” Inez patted his toe-head as she moved past. As Inez laid her music sheets out, she saw Miss Miriam slip Weety a dollar and half of a wrapped up sandwich. Miss Miriam caught her glance and looked a bit guilty. Weety meandered off down the porch, gripping the sandwich for dear life.

“He just doesn’t have anything’.” Miss Miriam shrugged.

“I know. We all gotta look out for Weety.” Inez smiled. “How can you listen to him play though? He’s awful.”

Miss Miriam folded her arms and sat on the bench next to Inez. “Not everyone is good at piano, Inez. Weety’s got a safe place to be when he comes here. I don’t mind.”

Inez placed her fingers on the worn, imperfect keys and let them fly through the first part of Debussy’s “Clair de Lune”. She did not sight-read anymore. She let her heartbeat guide rhythm, stroke, and tension. Something in the act, the dancing of her fingers, seeing the notes in her mind gave over to one sound – her heart, open and wild. She was rising above the heat, the houses, the shambling and small people. And on days like today, she could hear Miss Miriam’s heart rise too.

Those aged keys were the gateway, true keys to what opened happiness and magic for them. Inez knew the unspoken joy Miss Miriam felt when an excellent student played. Miss Miriam felt joy even when Weety or rigid Doris or even Edna, who never practiced, played. It was her magick. And Miss Miriam sent that magick back to each student to encourage and lift them in turn.

Inez always waited a few seconds after the song was over to open her eyes. She didn’t want to break the spell. Her heartbeat would disappear for a bit and the world outside would creep in with its noise and gravity.

“Beautiful!” Miss Miriam sighed and clapped softly. She smiled and moved the music sheets aside. “I have something faster for you, Inez. I would say a little more difficult too.” She pulled out “Carnival of the Animals” by Saint-Saens. The music leaflet had a cartoon elephant on the cover, spraying the watery title across the front.

“It looks sort of childish.” Inez frowned.

Miss Miriam pushed the music toward her. “I picked it specifically for you. It’s a goofy elephant, but a very tricky piece of music. And Inez, it’s fun too. I know you love slow pieces, but it’s good to challenge ourselves. And fun. You do remember fun?”

Inez reached for the leaflet, but her heartbeat pounded and hand drew back. Something was not right, not good. She did not like the expression on the elephant. She felt herself drowning under the sprayed title. She pushed herself to take it, to make Miss Miriam happy.

“Thank you. The real carnival comes next week, you know.” Miss Miriam. There was a rattling knock at the screen door. “Edna’s here!”

Inez eyed Edna on the way out. Edna would have to relearn everything from last week because she never practiced. She shook her head and skipped down the porch steps as Edna was reminded where to find middle C.

As she walked home, refusing to even look up at the angry sun, the music leaflet felt dry and cold in her hand. “Ow! Stop it!” the paper was giving off little shocks in her fingers. She shoved it in her music book and trudged on. Her heartbeat rumbled and then went slow and steady again.

Big Bobby Callum flumped past her on his big bike. He was on his way to deliver groceries to Doris’s family. He smelled dirty to Inez, even though he looked clean. Inez did not like him. She had seen him corner smaller kids and threaten to hurt them. He had never actually punched anyone, but was infamous for kicking animals and yelling, “you suckity-suck, so I kickity-kick.” His tire lurched into a ditch and flung Bobby, his bike, and groceries in a neat triangle. Inez kept her head down and walked steadily, hiding her smirk.

“You got somethin’ to say, Pfannkuchen?” Bobby yelled after her. Inez hurried away. Bobby picked up eat item, slamming it into the wooden crate on the back of his bike. He wiped the roast on his pants, he flung the apples on the bottom, even taking a bite. The order was already paid for, so who cared? His dad made him get this lousy job because he was always in trouble. His dad also took all the lousy money he made from him. Bobby picked up the eggs, which were miraculously intact. He paused, considering the weight of his unfair universe, and nailed Inez squarely in the back with an extra-large double yolk.

The wet smack turned her around. Cool slime dripping down her sundress, Inez fixed Bobby in her gaze.

“You suckity-suck, Pfannkuchen!”

Her heartbeat slowed and pulsed with a hard grind. Everything else fell away as she locked on his chest and listened. Inez could hear the rumble, small and dark. A shadow where a heart should be. A wasted whisper blowing a useless beat. No keys could be struck here to open up joy. Bobby Cullum was a null set. Inez learned that in math. You could count the set, it could take up space. But it had no value or meaning.

“You’re not worth it.” She softly formed the words. “Go home.”

The grin left Bobby’s face. He looked grey to her, as if the shadow in his chest filled and covered his face and body. His eyes became hollow, wide and empty. Bobby wet himself. He meekly turned back to the bike and clumsily rode away, leaving eleven perfect eggs dotting the dust.