Pokévengers

This is very much inspired by the image above, which is a t-shirt of mine. I can’t remember where I got the shirt from, but it’s a cool image. I’m currently re-watching the MCU movies with my wife, she has seen most of them, but a while ago and she doesn’t remember many details.

I love superheroes, and superhero stories, but I just can’t get on with comic books. The picture to word ratio is all off for me. And they don’t seem to come in book form. So I have to rely on TV and movies to get a sense of who these characters are, and what they can do.

To further educate myself, I have also joined several groups on Facebook regarding superheroes/comic book characters. BIG mistake. As a self-confessed nerd, I’ve experienced a lot of fandoms, comic book fans are the single most toxic people I have ever come across. Seriously, these people suck. Someone will post an innocuous suggestion for a theoretical matchup between superhero characters, say, Superman vs Thor, which is a popular choice, and then the hate starts. DC and Marvel fans respectively draw their battlelines and start flinging insults towards anyone that doesn’t share the exact same opinion. My personal favourite is a common one, I see it I’d say at least fifteen times a day, “rEaD cOmIcS, bRo!!!!” People viciously defending the honour of their chosen fictional character like it was their own firstborn.

Comic Book people, when trying to apply logic instead of blind devotion, bring up what they like to call “feats”. This is where I lose interest and zone out. The first Superman comic came out in 1938, Batman the year after, Captain America in the early forties, these characters have had the better part of a century to come up with more and more outlandish feats, as the writers run out of ideas on how to further amaze their readers. This ruins what should be fun little thought experiments, because if Batman has beaten Darkseid once, ridiculous in itself, then surely, he can beat any character up to that level, which is nonsense. So I’ve taken feats out of the equation and am treating these characters like they are Pokémon. This way it should match up to elemental advantages, and stronger characters having higher stats. This doesn’t mean that lower level heroes and villains can’t win, but they must use certain advantages to do so.

As anyone who has played the Pokémon games will know, you can catch as many as you are able (as the tagline of the game says), but you can only have six in your line up at any one time. As I have just finished watching The Avengers earlier today, it strikes that this is a perfect Pokémon team to take on an ‘elite four’. You can’t just stack your team with legendries, unless you are the sort of person to play all your games on easy so you can crush the computer, in which case knock yourself out, but you’ll be doing that on your own. So the original MCU avengers had two very high level characters, two mid level superheroes and two of the best street level heroes that Marvel has. But if they were Pokémon, what type would they be, and how would they do?

Legendries:

Hope that you have a Master Ball when you encounter these special fighters, as they going to be your best shot at defeating the Elite Four when you have collected all your badges.

Thor

Type – Electric Type

Special Attack – Thunderbolt

Bit of an obvious one, but the god of thunder is clearly an electric type. Alongside his lightning attacks, his Pokémon world attacks would be Mega Punch and Bonemerang (but with a hammer, obviously). Stats wise, ridiculously high attack and special stats. Thor has never shown much in the way of fight defence in the MCU, mostly because he hasn’t had to, but he did take the full force of a star to the face and lived, so that must count for something. Speed, well he is fast when hanging on to his hammer, but on the ground, he moves like a big man, so middling speed stats.

Pokémon Comparison – Ash’s Pikachu

Hulk

Type – Ground Type

Special Attack – Earthquake

Maybe not so obvious as the last, but with his special attack, along with other moves such as Seismic Toss and Body Slam, Hulk makes the earth move with his attacks. For stats, they would be ridiculous. His attacks are all power, defence wise he is indestructible, although he has been shown to be knocked out, and in Infinity War he was clearly not up for the fight, so a few points off for that. His speed is deceptively fast. Hulk covers distances in the blink of an eye, usually allowing him to strike first and hard. I’m going to knock points off for his special attack, Hulk’s specials are normally designed to take out multiple assailants, but don’t do much more damage than his regular attacks, so special moves aren’t so special.

Pokémon Comparison – Nidoking

Final Evolution Starters:

You have had these guys since the beginning. You have watched them grow as you have grown as a trainer alongside them. If you have raised them right, these little Pokémon come good will be able to compete against all but the biggest opponents.

Iron Man

Type – Steel Type

Special Attack – Flash Cannon

Low hanging fruit, but Iron Man is of course a steel type. Flash Cannon allows him to temporarily blind his opponents by overloading his flight stabilizers. He is also able to use attacks such as Solarbeam and Metronome to great effect, allowing him to compete with higher level Pokémon. Stats are mid to high in all areas, but not as high as the powerhouses listed above. A solid starter Pokémon that you keep all the way to the fight with the ‘Elite Four’ as his level continues to rise to match the gym leaders you face along the way.

Pokémon Comparison – Aggron

Captain America

Type – Grass Type

Special Attack – Harden

The transformation from little Steve Rogers to Captain America mirrors most the growth of a grass type Pokémon. His Harden gives him the ability to take a great beating and still ‘do this all day’, so Steve Rogers has higher than standard HP. His other attacks include Fury Attack and Headbutt, with his helmet providing protection. Caps attack stats are ok, but his defence is better. With respectable speed stats and an excellent special, expect Steve to stick around in any battle.

Pokémon Comparison – Venusaur

Lower Level

These are the sort of Pokémon that you would expect to find when you get off the S.S. Anne in Red/Blue. They are better than anything that you have found to this point, but they aren’t at the top of your line up unless you are XP hunting.

Black Widow

Type – Ghost Type

Special Attack – Shadow Sneak

Natasha Romanov is a ghost type Pokémon due to her ability to get into places that she shouldn’t be able to, and her ability to present herself as non-threatening right up until the moment she attacks. Her special allows her to get the first move in a fight and is backed up by Low Kick and Thunder Wave. Black Widow’s attack and defence stats leave something to be desired, as to be expected from this level, but she has a good enough speed stat and her special is top notch.

Pokémon Comparison – Haunter

Hawkeye

Type – Flying Type

Special Attack – Sky Attack

Clint Barton can’t fly, but he always fights from the high ground. Hawkeye fights better at a distance but his attacks pack a punch. His Sky Attack special causes devastation if used at the right time, and his Peck from his regular arrows pierce all but the toughest hides. His attack, defence and speed stats rank highly for such a low level Pokémon, but he is unlikely to trouble higher ranking opponents unless his special attack can make its mark.

Pokémon Comparison – Spearow

The comparison of Pokémon to superheroes, whilst being fun, does also highlight some of the incredulity of both. In comics, anyone can beat anyone, just so long as the writer wants them to. In Pokémon, nearly anyone can beat anyone, just as long as they catch them at the right time, and they are already almost done.

I think the team listed above is a good mix, and I think that’s why they were able to be so successful in their MCU missions, and why I think they’d make a great Pokémon team.

But I’d love to hear your thoughts. How would this team do? What would other superheroes and villains be with regards to type? Feel free to reach out and let me know.

* FYI that isn’t actually my t-shirt, but it is a picture of the same design.