Movie Review: 'He's All That' Starring Addison Rae

He’s All That is slightly less offensive than the 1999 original, She's All That. That’s pretty much the nicest thing I can say about this dreary, derivative excuse for product placement. Director Mark Waters long ago gave up on trying to make actual movies, preferring to cash paychecks for young adult products not worthy of taking up space on movie theater screens. It makes sense that his work is now on streaming television, his ambition is barely above that of a low rent television show.

He’s All That tells the story of Padgett Sawyer (Addison Rae), a social media influencer hiding a terrifying secret; she's actually poor. I know, the scandal. How are people supposed to take makeup tips from a poor person? It's a good thing this won’t be used against her later in the story, am I right fellow young people? High five! Don't @ Me (Winky Face)! Addison is hiding her background even from her closest friends, Alden (Madison Pettis) and Quinn (Myra Molloy).

The plot of He’s All That kicks in when Padgett decides to visit the set of her rapper boyfriend’s music video. With her live stream running, Padgett walks in on her boyfriend, Jordan Van Draanen (Peyton Meyer), cheating on her in his trailer with one of his backup dancers. Humiliated, Padgett finds her video going viral in all the wrong ways and that Jordan isn’t the one being mocked for his cheating. People prefer making fun of her for a gross reason.

Things get so bad that Padgett’s makeup sponsor, played in a cameo by Kourtney Kardashian, decides to drop her unless she can find a way to regain her following. That’s when Alden reminds Padgett of a wager that they’ve planned for years. Padgett and Alden bet that Padgett can’t take a random guy and turn him into a popular stud with her awesome makeover skills. The bet will center around Cameron Kweller (Tanner Buchanan) an outsider cosplaying as a 90s grunge kid.

No points for guessing that Cameron is a secret hottie with six pack abs, a beautiful singing voice, and great hair hidden under a wool cap. Bear in mind that this is based off a movie that claimed Rachel Lee Cook was some kind of mutant because she wore glasses and paint covered overalls instead of contacts and haute couture. Speaking of Rachel Lee Cook, she’s actually in He’s All That though whether she is reprising her role is unclear and never commented upon.

Also back from the original cast of She’s All That is Matthew Lillard and he is apparently playing a different role than he did in the original. In 1999’s Abomination he played Brock Hudson, ugh, and in this remake/sequel, hybrid movie, Lillard steals scenes as Principal Bosch, a nebbishy, nerdy caricature of out of touch Gen-X oldsters. Yes, jokes about avocado toast, influencers, and soon to be dated versions of social media are mocked in hack gags clearly written by someone who carries only a google search version of what modern culture is like.

In fairness, our culture moves at such a rapid pace these days that it’s hard to call out a movie for falling behind the times before it even premieres. That’s the kindest consideration I can give to He’s All That, saying that it’s not the fault of the filmmakers that our culture is nearly impossible to keep up with. That said, these clanging, cacophonous gags about modern culture are rarely funny and if they do land, as Lillard makes one of them actually work thanks to his energetic delivery, they will likely not land with the intended young adult audiences who are tired of Dad jokes.

As derivative and painful as this premise is, the product placement is perhaps the biggest barrier between He’s All That and being remotely bearable. When a character stops an entire scene to enthuse about the availability of free Pizza Hut Pizza or bottles of Core water get better framing in a scene than the actual characters in the scene, you’ve made a terrible movie. He’s All That is one of the most egregious abusers of product placement since the classic Wayne’s World product placement gag.

I get that this is a soulless endeavor intended to drive viewing length studies used to justify higher monthly fees for a corporate entertainment colossus, but honestly, the level of product placement and winking self assurance over said product placement is soul sickening. At least try not to drive entire scenes into a wall with this, the Pizza Hut scene is a smash cut to piles of pizza, a mention of how great it is and a smash cut to a slice of pizza.

On the bright side, at least no one dropped public hair on the pizza, a gag from the original She’s All That which scarred me for life. I’ve never forgotten that scene and I never will. I’ve seen intentional gore and viscera on screen, I’ve seen Salo, and still, the pubic hair pizza scene from She’s All That is the only time I’ve become physically ill while watching a movie. That might just be me and my particular intolerance, but I already hated the experience of She’s All That when that scene came on and provided the rotted cherry on the fetid sundae that is She’s All That.

He’s All That was always going to improve on the original, that was never a question for me. The sight of a blank screen viewed for the same amount of time would be an improvement over She’s All That. He’s All That needed only be in frame and not be revolting and I was going to like it more than the original. That’s a long way to go to say, I don’t hate Addison Rae or Tanner Buchanan. The leads here are much more appealing in He's All That than Freddie Prinze Jr and the awful character written for the otherwise charming Rachel Lee Cook in She's All That.

He's All That also has the correct lines drawn between who the good and bad people are. Though her motivations are questionable, Rae plays Padgett with a good natured and positive attitude. She’s shallow but she’s on her way to learning a lesson, of sorts. But the writing of these characters is so thin that it takes a remarkable effort on the part of these young actors to work around the margins of these characters. They don’t succeed in elevating the movie but they don’t embarrass themselves, that’s probably the highest praise we can give them.

There's the pull quote for you Netflix, 'The leads don't have to be completely embarrassed that they were in He's All That.' Sean Patrick Geeks.Media.

Your welcome Netflix

He's All That is now Streaming on Netflix as of August 27th, 2021.